The Pyroto Observer
an entirely unofficial take on current events in the land of Pyroto
Distribution Notes
Charging for TPO turned out to be more trouble than it was worth, so from now on this newsletter will be available to all wizards free of charge. A new newsletter will appear at this location every 10 days. You may wish to simply bookmark this site and refer back to it each time the Pyroto day ends in "0", as it can be difficult for me to announce the appearance of each new issue to all interested parties.
Magenta-Coloured Glasses
As of 5562, Pyroto entered the Magenta age as Jimbo crossed the threshold into the world beyond level 256. Commenting on his arrival, Jimbo said: "As Neil Armstrong put it: When you set a world record at the 100M dash, eventually someone will beat it. But being first, well, that's forever."
Being alone didn't last all that long, however: Jimbo was quickly joined by Zelda, Noodle Dwarf, MsMittens, Mingus, Andreus, Jekyl, Thargor, FFTobago and Ninjalicious. At the same time, Zeno became the first Magenta-robed wizard on Imaz, and also soared back into the lead in the race for the pinnacle. Nimby and Kirin have since joined Zeno on Imaz's Magenta band.
No one has figured out how support works yet, though there certainly seems to be a lot of it.Boldly Going, Boldly Gone
Pyroto long-timer Odinsday recently became the first to attempt to colonize the far slopes of the mountain Broppsfar, spending 2000 manna and losing 24 levels in order to be the first settler. "I fancied trying out a few things with out the noise around me," explained Odinsday. "I see no-one else here, only hundreds of other mountains.... By using triangulations, you could make a map of the world, you know..."
Unfortunately for the intrepid explorer, he was soon informed by the Servants that Broppsfar wasn't yet open for business, and was thus moved back to Restlech where he is now the second-highest wizard after Pogue. Broppsfar's loss is Restlech's gain, and Odinsday will have undisputed claim to be the first Broppsfarian.The Cheatie Awards
Every now and then, wizards have the strange idea that they can somehow beat the system. When they're caught, they enter the running for the much-covetted Cheatie Awards.
The Second Runner-up in the latest contest is the Restlech troublemaker Fantome, who recently began following up her constant verbal abuse with actual attacks on those who disagreed with her, proclaiming "I will do whatever I please no matter what my punishment will be." Finding herself without enough esteem and manna to properly terrorize Restlech, Fantome took to posting a plethora of garbage messages, including a very full question list, before these were Hurled by the Servant and various wizards. In addition to her Cheatie, Fantome also received a Kamikaze courtesy of Ethereal, as well as Demotions to 0 and Drains into negative courtesy of Soup, Nkohnuhkholdor, Thalamus and YT TIGER.
The First Runner-up is the Pyroto wizard Zelda. In spite of being among the most senior wizards on the mountain, and having signed her name to multiple proclamations forbidding the reposting of copyrighted material, Zelda elected to boost her pitiful esteem score by illegally reposting copyrighted material found on the web and presenting these messages as her own. In addition to her Cheatie, Zelda received a 5-level demotion from Jimbo. Hopefully this token punishment will be enough to demonstrate that even high-level wizards have to play by the rules.
Though the judges normally find it difficult to choose the Grand Winner of the Cheatie Awards, this time the choice was clear. After the Imaz wizard Lord Cajigas joined Marauder, PrPrincess and Drako in abusing the new "Esteem Builder" channel, Zeno docked him 200 levels, posting: "Lord Cajigas, you are history. Your cheating is so utterly blatant that there is no question on the part of anybody that you are playing us for a fool." Not content to rest there, Lord Cajigas then knowingly exploited a system bug to conjure up tens of thousands of manna points from out of nowhere and dole these out to his allies. Thankfully, the Servants intervened and undid most of the bug-related damage before Lord Cajigas and friends had a chance to utterly destroy the game, though both Servants and wizards wasted time and manna in making the repairs. In addition to his Cheatie, Lord Cajigas received permanent banishment. "This is (if memory serves) the very first time that the Servants have had to banish a wizard," commented Tim, Servant of TSOTL. "While it pains me to see this happen, I can't say that I've ever seen somebody more deserving of this retribution than Lord Cajigas."
But let's hear it for all our contestants!Foster Wizards Plan Redux
In its last edition, TPO reported on the desire of the father and son team of WyldMan and WogglyDog and their attempt to beg for manna so they could afford to move to Restlech. Restlechian philanthropist Tempest read of the two wizards' plight and took pity upon them, eventually bestowing them the thousands of manna they needed in order to leave Imaz in favour of Restlech.
Tempest commented: "If there's one thing we need on Restlech (which is surely the least powerful of the three mountains that are currently populated), it's enthusiasm."Committee of Pyroto Safety?
The wizard Thalamus was exiled to Restlech some time ago after getting into some trouble on Imaz. Restlech being primarily populated by refugees from other mountains, Thalamus fit in fairly well, until he surprised the rest of the Indigo band with the announcement that he was, in fact, a spy.
"I have spent all my time on Restlech attempting to create an inter-mountain network of wizards who act as sort of an internal affairs for the system," wrote Thalamus. "The purpose of this is to create 'dossiers' for certain questionable wizards.... In the end I have built up quite a file of wizards from all the 'Big Three' mountains, and am attempting to pass that information along to those who it concerns."
When the Rechlech Indigoes reacted with shock and suspicion, Thalamus expanded slightly. He referred to the wizards he worked for as The Group, but would not identify any members other than the Imazian Cjilgott.
Cjilgott happened by a day or two later to publicly berate Thalamus and demote and drain him a fair bit. Cjilgott stopped short of denying that he was helping to organize a spy ring, however, and in fact seemed to confirm its existence by posting to the mountain at large: "Counter to what [Thalamus] has suggested, he is not entitled to and certainly not privy to any information that is gathered by what he refers to as The Group."Meet Your Overlords: Zeno
Though he might not yet have a reputation to match his power, Imaz Mountain's Zeno is both the highest wizard and the fastest climber in Pyrotoland. His singlehanded climbing has even outpaced Pyroto's two largest and most powerful climbing teams. Until his recent devastating attack on Lord Cajigas for cheating, Zeno has been an adamant pacifist. Can we expect this to change?When did you get your first taste of Pyroto, and what was your first impression?
I had a brief contact with the BBS version of Pyroto, back in the late 1980s. I enjoyed the basic concept, but at the time I didn't have much time to devote to the game. My first impression was, I'm afraid, rather shallow, because I never climbed high enough to understand what it was really all about; I just thought it was a trivia game with a message base. I never had a chance to grasp the depth of the idea.Are you an Imazian by nature?
Actually, I started out on Pyroto, then migrated to Restlech (which at the time was uninhabited) and finally came over to Imaz. I like it here. It was a bit lacklustre, but with the arrival of Mr.Gene, it took on a bit of an edge that I found refreshing. Prior to that, the only intriguing "strain" was some heated discussions between me and Nimby, and we eventually decided to "agree to disagree". I think Imaz needs a few more "loose cannons" like Mr.Gene. While I like the tolerant nature of Imaz, I really don't want to see it turn into a placid place where people don't do anything more controversial than swap recipes.How did you climb up Imaz so quickly?
Research. I work in a library, so I use my spare moments to look up answers (and alternative answers), using both the library's net connection and their many books. I am very methodical in my climbing. I don't see how anybody could get ahead if they approach it in a haphazard way. (Well, I suppose I should also mention the political dimension, but I'm not an expert in that.)Do you have any allies or enemies that you know of?
No. My stated policy is "No attack, no assist". That even means that I discourage people from assisting me. Some people have bestowed me manna, and while I was grateful, I asked them to not do it again. My idea is that if I am unaligned in any way, nobody can see me as a threat. I use my manna solely to police the slopes of Imaz, and for climbing.In your opinion, what are the responsibilities of a mountain's highest wizards?
That is up to them. Some of them (e.g. Kirin) do the policing job with great dedication. In my case, I climb. This gives Imaz a certain amount of prestige and credibility. Of course, as an independent climber, I don't expect that I will be able to keep up with the well-organized climbing teams on Pyroto, but so far I've done okay. Quite frankly, I'm finding it very hard to keep up with the Pyrotoans (or, as some people spell it, the "Pyrotians"). They're well organized and seem to be well coordinated. If I didn't work at a library, I don't see how I would be able to keep up with them. So to get back to the original question, I think that high-level wizards have to organize people if they want their mountain to be credible.What do you think the Servants can do to improve Pyroto?
I have the e-mail address of one of the Servants, and it is my impression that they are doing their utmost to make the system the best it can be. However, they have limited resources, so I think it would be rude for me to make any sweeping statements about what they "should" do. I continually send them suggestions, and for the most part they merely reply, "Thanks for your input". I do hope that they note my ideas down, but I don't know how they "vote" on what ideas are appropriate.What do you think the wizards can do to improve Pyroto?
Learn to write properly. There are far too many wizards who haven't a clue about what makes a post pleasant to read.Any predictions for the future evolution of Pyroto?
Right now there are three really active mountains. I figure that in a few years, we'll see dozens (if not hundreds) more. I'm really looking forward to seeing how that pans out.Anything else you'd like to add?
Yes. While I have made it my mission to be the "climber" on Imaz, I do hope that some wizards will take it upon themselves to help the lower-level wizards to excel. Many of them surely have something valuable to contribute, but they're incoherent. Pyroto can be a place where they learn to communicate effectively -- even if only to get ahead. As such, it could be an educational experience. I don't know of any other game that can give people lessons that are so directly applicable to getting ahead in the real world.Trivia Contest!
Everyone loves Pyroto trivia -- how about some trivia about Pyroto? Whoever Contacts or e-mails Ninjalicious the most correct answers to the following 20 questions (or, in the event of a tie, whoever provides them first) wins 500 manna and holds the Triviamaster belt until the next contest. Anyone who can get 10 of these can feel fairly proud.
Plea For Submissions
- Who originally created Pyroto?
- What company originally marketed Pyroto?
- In what year did Pyroto first appear?
- In what city did Pyroto first appear?
- To what scribe are Pyroto's scrolls attributed?
- To what scribe were Pyroto's scrolls traditionally attributed?
- Who are the four current Servants of TSOTL?
- What is the absolute maximum manna a wizard can have on Pyroto?
- What is a wizard who exists mainly to hold manna for other wizards called?
- What is a dummy wizard illegally controlled by another wizard called?
- What did Minions used to be called?
- What did Mentors used to be called?
- What elemental used to cause earthquakes?
- What elemental used to eat manna at midnight?
- What elemental's name is an acronym for what it does?
- What two elementals never agree with TSOTL?
- At what value did a wizard's manna used to "flip" from positive to negative?
- Name four servants from the original Pyroto Mountain.
- What was the second-ever Pyroto mountain called?
- What old-style mountain allowed wizards to climb a first and a second pinnacle?
As before, if you'd like to contribute a news item, a tip on a story, or even a regular column to TPO, please send a Contact or e-mail to Ninjalicious so we can talk it over. I'm especially eager to recruit some wizards from Imaz and Restlech, so this newsletter doesn't wind up being too Pyroto-centric.