The Pyroto Observer
an entirely unofficial take on current events in the land of Pyroto
Preventative Maintenance
Remember what happened the last time a bunch of inactive Imazian wizards were suddenly promoted a bunch of levels?
Perhaps not surprisingly, AmbushBug does.
When a group of affiliated wizards consisting of SpiritMetari (formerly LordWarwizard), FattyChopper, Asshole, Maryjanesbong, Harrison, and, possibly, Melissa of Crofton, began promoting each other up Imaz, AmbushBug demoted some of the wizards still inhabiting Imaz. (SpiritMetari and Asshole had already migrated away to the vacant slopes of Ponnys Pou at the time of the attack.)
FattyChopper and Harrison each managed one kamikaze against AmbushBug in retaliation, but the effects of this were quickly undone by Punky, and AmbushBug and AvylaJewelSynda then continued the assault against the target wizards.
More to come?Clan Spell, Get Your Clan Spell
Regarding the newly revamped (and functional!) Clan spell, available to wizards at level 129 and above, Tim, Servant of TSOTL writes: "It costs 4096 to create a new clan. Once you're in the clan (which is, of course, the case if you created it, or if you've been invited and accepted), the price of the Clan spell drops to 1. Mind you, within the clan conclave (sort of like a clan club-house), each 'invocation' (i.e. spells within the conclave) have various manna costs. I hope that info tides you over until I can put together a proper scroll about Clan."Nature of TSOTL Revealed
In other news, the quest to discover the true nature of TSOTL continues. The latest wizard philosopher to step up to bat is Pyroto newbie Fatboy_Fat, who mused: "WHO DOES THIS *GUY* THINK HE IS? ... WHY CAN'T WE SEE HIM OR WHY CAN'T HE SPEAK TO US? I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL DOES HE DO FOR HIS LIFE? GET BOOZED UP AND PICK UP SOME FINE-ASS LADIES?"
TSOTL was unavailable for comment.The Standings
Pyroto's ranks are stable, though the clan of Jekyl, Mingus, MsMittens and Thargor is steadily pulling ahead of fellow Magentas FFTobago, Ninjalicious, Jimbo, Noodle Dwarf and Zelda. Pyroto's Indigo wizards are Fionn Mac Cumhail, Dark Heron, Pogue, Jan, Victoria Rose, LadyMockingbird, Bison and Angelsuki.
On Imaz, AmbushBug, Dilerium, Mr.Gene, Mr.Paul, Punky, Robyn and Souldance seem to have put aside whatever differences they had in order to stroll up the mountain hand-in-hand (leaving Cjilgott as the only Magenta wizard not rapidly approaching level 300). Following a few notable exits, the Indigo band is now populated by Elgjeff, Jacee, AvylaJewelSynda, Squawkk, Questor, Cygnals, Travis122, Blue Ariel, Modaddy, Smallkat, UniqueCrash4 and Polaris1.
The biggest changes on Restlech are name changes. Andreus renamed to Platinum before leaving the mountain, Soup has become Juiceless and Nkohnuhkholdor has become TZOTL_LKR. Odinsday, YT TIGER and Chameleon constitute the rest of the Magentas. Restlech's many Indigoes are Prometheus119, Tempest, Myriad, Acapellican, Thalamus, Rooster7, Tsmaster, DaMuppet, Krimin, Twilight, Stamback, Galahadriel, Lucian, Genitalia, Panzermaus, Boscibo and Tandyman.
Broppsfar still has no Magentas, but Zeno has been joined at Indigo by Ailis, LaffsMan, Marauder and Restlech-immigrant Myrkjarten.
The highest wizard on the so-called "Teeming Millions mountain" of Paz Clafi is actually a non-TMer: Imazian ex-pat DejUhlVek, though Bricker isn't far behind. The Indigo band is made up of an odd mix of TMers and Imazian immgrants, including MtnMan, UPSMan, BigRoryG, JeannieEatsZucchini, Atrael, Rhiannon, LordGenao, DoomBringer, MadPoet and Falc.
Iard Crimleu is populated by Indigo overlords Mr.Moonlight, Zanzeeb, Koyn and Divinez, who rule over the Blue-robed T.Starfollower, and nobody else.Magical Mystery Tour
Not long after his recent move to Restlech, Andreus renamed to Platinum and migrated to Iard Crimleu. While there, he renamed to .. and moved on to Paz Clafi. On Paz Clafi, he renamed to Dent and moved on to Piafil Tons. From Piafil Tons, he first migrated first to Smihosdahm Smodira, and then to the distant mountain of Ireat. On Ireat, he kamikaze'd himself, losing 154 levels in the process.
However, determined to avenge himself, Dent returned!
After shuffling around to a few other mountains, Dent finally settled back in on Pyroto Mountain, where he has since received apology promotions from Bricker (to rectify some earlier demotions on Paz Clafi), sizeable promotions from Fionn Mac Cumhail, and a steady stream of small promotions from Jekyl.
The point of Andreus/Platinum/../Dent's elaborate and expensive shell-game isn't obvious, since a simple peek at any of the many ether channels Andreus created, which are now creditted to Dent, uncover his tracks. When questioned in the channel "Andreus' Ivory Tower", Dent purports to be a new wizard filling in for Andreus while Andreus is on vacation, but TPO assumes Dent is actually just another of Andreus' personalities and not a whole new wizard, as they are both aware that having two people control one wizard is a violation of Pyroto's rules.
Dent has been unavailable for comment, and has yet to post on Pyroto's public message bands.Is There a Cartographer in the House?
Since the "Survey Says" article in the last edition of TPO, several wizards have been in touch to collaborate on mountain-mapping efforts. So far, two very good maps have been forwarded to TPO, one by Broppsfar's Marauder and one by Imaz's Saltire. Both cartographers' efforts have their merits, so both maps are included here.
TPO sincerely thanks Saltire and Marauder for their efforts, and will continue to assist explorers and cartographers in collecting and presenting information about the land.
Saltire's easy-to-read 'elevation' map of the land cleanly presents the locations of all currently inhabited mountains.
Marauder's more fanciful map features information on several more mountains, a few imaginative flourishes,
and the attempts of Marauder and Leander to convert Pyrotese to English.
Mountains: They're Growin' Like Weeds
The last issue of TPO contained the statement that "Tired, manna-drained TPO staff hope six mountains is enough for a while."
No such luck. Since 5600, at least four new mountains have been explored and two new slopes, Smihosdahm Smodira and Ponnys Pou, have actually opened for business. It would appear that the number of inhabited mountains in Pyrotoland is going to increase exponentially rather than geometrically.
TPO will do its best to keep up, but wizards from distant slopes are strongly encouraged to stay in touch, either by mailing Ninjalicious or posting to the "The Pyroto Observer" ether channel.Ask Miss Manna
Dear Miss Manna,
Hi, I like to write messages. Hopefully you will like this message and I also hope that my words please TSOTL. I also hope my elemental Actalytos who is with me now and the elemental Tidaretti who was with me Thursday and the elemental Chronos who I hope someday to have also like this message.
Namedropping on NermisodaGentle Wizard,
While Miss Manna (and, no doubt, TSOTL) appreciates that you surely mean well in your attempt to communicate, she cannot help but point out that you have actually not managed to say anything at all. Posting messages that merely comment on the fact that one can write messages (or that one looks forward to reading other messages) are in general a waste of other wizards' time and will not serve to engage anyone else in conversation. (Which was, after all, what you set out to do, right?)
Furthermore, while it may be an accepted convention at certain mountains in the Far East, it is generally considered tiresome and impolite to gratuitously namedrop TSOTL and one's elemental when not actually saying something about them. These ploys are transparent and painfully dull stabs at esteem-garnering that will do more to establish your reputation as a brown-noser than as a good communicator.Please send your Pyroto etiquette questions to Miss Manna care of TPO.
Meet Your Overlords
...will return next week.Admin Notes
As before, if you'd like to contribute a news item, a commentary or even a regular column to TPO, please mail Ninjalicious so we can talk it over. I'm especially eager to recruit some wizards from Paz Clafi, Iard Crimleu, Smihosdahm Smodira and Ponnys Pou so this newsletter doesn't wind up being too focussed on central Pyrotoland.
P.S. Interested parties can access older issues of TPO here."Pyroto" and a bunch of other words here are trademarks of Pyroto, Inc. This issue of TPO brought to you by the Cat Chronicles and the Dogs Channel.
