The Pyroto Observer
an entirely unofficial take on current events in the land of Pyroto
Who's Laffing Now?
TPO was lucky enough to receive two submissions regarding the ongoing conflict between Geneva and Laffsman on Broppsfar Mountain -- from the combatants themselves, no less!
Geneva wrote, "Recently I quietly returned to see what was up and posted two rather harmless messages. I then promoted a former nemesis of mine, because he proved to me that he was not the bad guy. Laffsman in turn has stripped me of my Blue robe and knocked me down to level 31. His behavior is not only childish, it is cruel beyond belief. I did nothing to him.... He is a control-freak and I fear for the future of Broppsfar. I am only the first. He proudly proclaims himself to be Lord High Executioner and seems to delight in draining and demoting."
Laffsman explained how relations between himself and Geneva had gone from friendly to unfriendly, and then continued: "On 5623 she returned, with a week's accumulation of manna for a level 118 wizard, and promoted the resident troll, the wizard who spends all of his energies attacking people verbally but, most interestingly, the wizard who had kamikazed her once, causing her to call me crying, begging me to demote him to zero and drain him into the negatives, which I did. She promoted Farfig 20 levels, and gave him his Blue robe. She also posted quite publicly, in the style of a spoiled brat, that she liked having a lot of manna, and planned to come back every so often, having accumulated it all, and use it in similar fashion.
"On 5624, Imaz was unfortunately involved in this matter, when an obvious clone logged on, posted a lot of crap, power-climbed to a high enough level to kamikaze, and did so, ineffectively. That wizard has of course been pulled down, but that did not cause several wizards, on both Imaz and Broppsfar, to spend a lot of time looking into the matter. I am no longer interested in knowing who this cloner was, but I knew that the matter had gone far enough, and demoted Geneva 87 levels. The 87 was both practical, bringing her down to the band of the Newly Sanctified, and also symbolic, Geneva having received 77 promotes, I took each one away, and 10 more for disturbing Broppsfar and Imaz. I have also vowed publicly that if she ever wants to climb up, she had better prove herself first.
"Were these drastic measures? Yes. Did I do it out of spite? No. A spiteful and childish wizard at level 30 can make some noise. A spiteful and childish wizard at level 118 can do damage. It was necessary, and though I am sorry for the necessity of it, I will not apologize. It had to happen."The Standings
Pyroto's top wizards are still leading the pack: FFTobago, Ninjalicious, Jekyl, Mingus, MsMittens, and Thargor have fewer than 100 levels to go until they reach the pinnacle. The all-but-inactive Noodle Dwarf, Jimbo, and Zelda lag further behind. Pyroto's most recent Magenta, Fionn Mac Cumhail, migrated to Restlech and returned to Indigo shortly after gaining the top robe on his home mountain. Andreus, Bison, Dark Heron, Jan, Angelsuki, RePhlux, and Zephyr make up Pyroto's Indigo band.
Imaz now has more Magenta wizards than any other. The climbing team of AmbushBug, Dilerium, Mr.Gene, Mr.Paul, Punky, and Souldance are in the lead at about level 350, with the semi-retired Robyn not far behind. Climbing partners AvylaJewelSynda and Squawkk have recently joined the rankers, and Cjilgott continues to lurk in the background. Imaz's Indigoes are Cygnals, Elgjeff, Jacee, Questor, Munch, Polaris1, Smallkat, Modaddy, Saltire, Travis122, and Blue Ariel.
On Restlech, Juiceless, Odinsday, and TZOTL_LKR are comfortably in the lead at 322, followed more distantly by YT TIGER, Chameleon, Prometheus119 and Acapellican. On Restlech, where Promote seems to have become the most popular spell, the vast collection of Indigoes consists of Myriad, Thalamus, Tandyman, Tempest, Rooster7, Stamback, daMuppet, Galahadriel, Tsmaster, MistyPlum, Panzermaus, Miehele, Twilight, Prince Of Thieves, Genitalia, Sethari, GurnB, Harlequin, Havok, Isabell and the recently-migrated Fionn Mac Cumhail.
Despite their constant problems with low-level Kamikaziers, Broppsfar's self-appointed Overseers continue to climb at an impressive rate. Zeno brought the mountain into the Magenta age on 5622, and has since been followed up by the allies Amsha, Laffsman, Magenta Lizard (formerly maglizrd), and Omi. They are trailed by the climbing team of Copious, Joop, and Ljdarten and the independent Anton the Conqueror. Broppsfarian Marauder has followed Myrkjarten to the still-desolate slopes of Sosopi.
Aside from top wizard DejUhlVek, Paz Clafi is quite dominated by the Teeming Millions clan. Magentas include BigRoryG, Bricker, MtnMan, and UPSman; Indigoes include JeannieEatsZucchini, Rhiannon, Corrado, MadPoet, Shaynav, Falc, Boscibo, and Eswhang.
Iard Crimleu's Indigoes are still limited to Zanzeeb, Mr.Moonlight, Llewelyn and Koyn, but the mountain has finally begun to receive natives. As of 5628, Iard Crimleu has gone from its usual population of five to a population of 81. Hopefully the elder Crimleuians won't suddenly develop claustrophobia.Zombie Busting
Following up on leads from AmbushBug and others, Tim, Servant of TSOTL has been doing some serious zombie busting lately, most of it aimed at past and present wizards of Imaz. Kraken, PrPrincess, Driven4Life, Drako, Gargoyle, Kaiser and Doombringer were all banished outright, and LordGenao had his level cut in half, for their involvement in controlling each other's wizards.
While many had wondered why some of these wizards would occasionally sign their messages with each other's names, Tim explained that he was finally convinced of cheating by a post from Kraken reading: "Driven4life, Drako, Prprincess and I are all classmates and started playing this game during tech class on my brothers suggestion. On occassion one of us would log on everyones wizards during a class in order to cast manna spell. There is no mention in the meta rules that you cannot do this, it says to watch your password so that no one gets it but it doesn't say you cant have someone else log your wizard in for you."
Quoth Tim: "Is this willful ignorance or what?"
Tim has also recently banished several other, less-significant cheaters, and thus advises all players: "If you gave false information when you passed level 16, you had better send in the real information very quickly. You can use the Contact spell to forward this info to Tombo, Servant of TSOTL. Those who gave false information will probably receive some kind of disciplinary action, but it's far better that you should come forth voluntarily than for the Servants to discover the false information themselves.... If you are running a zombie, this is a good time to confess. You can use the Contact spell to send in your confessions to Tim, Servant of TSOTL. Don't run the risk of having me catch you, or being turned in by another wizard, because if that happens you'll be off the system permanently. After all, we do have to keep the game safe and fair."More Than Three Hours
We've all seen those dreaded words: "you have more than 3 hours until you can login again."
Happily, obsessed wizards like yourself are bringing an ever-increasing number of Pyroto meta-sites into existence, so you can continue to feed your addiction even after TSOTL tires of your presence.
AceWebster's Mr.Gene's Koach the Kiddies Kampaign site is mostly inaccessible except to Mr.Gene's trainees, but all can stop by to learn a little something about the MGKKK and to ask to join up.
Saltire's Geography of the Land is a handy reference point for explorers and cartographers. It contains Saltire's very thorough lists of the hundreds and hundreds of (mostly empty) mountains that make up Pyrotoland.
Juiceless's rather neglected The Resltech (sic) Page promises an archived list of that mountain's relevant Proclamations, as well as a list of Restlech's rules and message band monitors.
Zeno has just established Zeno's Place, which is currently a bare-bones look at Broppsfar's "Overseer's Creed", as well as a list of Broppsfar's current Overseers.
You can learn a lot of neat stuff about the group that controls Paz Clafi by visiting The Teeming Millions Homepage. Be especially sure to check out The Teeming Millions Reference Desk!
For laughs, you may want to visit Mtn. Asshole. Ponnys Pouian wizard Asshole explains that his vision was to establish "a site that simply stated that Mr. Gene sucked," but now Mtn. Asshole has become something so much more.
And, of course, there's The Pyroto Observer.Meet Your Overlords: Ezobei
Ezobei is the highest -- and only -- wizard on Smihosdahm Smodira. Because Ezobei is something of a hermit, we thought it best not to detain him too long.So, is it fun being in charge of Smihosdahm Smodira?
You can't imagine the trouble I'm having keeping this mountain's inhabitants in check.Classifieds
The 5640 issue (and, potentially, all future issues) of TPO will carry short classified ads. The ads cost 10 manna points per word, with a 300-manna minimum -- this is twice as much as a Proclaim spell, but your message will reach the attentive wizards on all nine inhabited mountains. Manna generated by the classifieds will help cover the large costs of Visiting and Omniviewing associated with TPO.
You're free to use the ads to promote your idea, your cause, your mountain, your team, your clan, your website, your ether channel, or just yourself. The only stipulation is that no ads may be posted anonymously. If you are interested in taking out an ad, please Contact or e-mail Ninjalicious.Admin Notes
As always, if you'd like to contribute a news item, a commentary or even a regular column to TPO, please mail Ninjalicious so we can talk it over. I'm especially eager to recruit some wizards from the outer reaches of the Land so this newsletter doesn't wind up being too focussed on central Pyrotoland.
Sincere thanks to all contributors as well as FFTobago, Juiceless, Marauder, Bricker and Mr.Moonlight for their help with gathering information for this edition, as well as to all the wizards who support and promote TPO on an ongoing basis.
P.S. Interested parties can access older issues of TPO here."Pyroto" and a bunch of other words here are trademarks of Pyroto, Inc.
