The Pyroto Observer
an entirely unofficial take on current events in the land of Pyroto
Restlech Improvement Project
On 5637, the following bit of public relations fluff greeted the wizards of Pyroto, Restlech and Paz Clafi: "Today, the Allied Clans -- a team of wizards and clans from Restlech, Pyroto, and Paz Clafi -- have acted to remove the wizard Soup/Juiceless/One-Two-Three-Four from a position of power on Restlech.
"This is not an action we have taken lightly. All of us treasure peace, first and foremost, and we believe in a mountain's right to self-determination. But none of us who champion peace could, in good conscience, sit by idly when a tyrant wields his power next door. And a mountain's right to self-determination is useless if it's held in thrall by a small and tyrannical power.
"One-Two-Three-Four has ignored mountain sovereignty himself, demoting a wizard on Paz Clafi one hundred levels for being 'condescending' to him. He has demoted a Pyroto wizard who fled Restlech to get away from his tyranny. He has threatened demotes for wizards if they even dare to place a single post on an Ether channel.
And on Restlech, his actions have many wizards upset, fearful, and yet unable to take action, as he has ruthlessly used the flimsiest excuses to demote any who would question his actions.
"No wizard initiating this action today does so for personal gain. We all are rankers on our home mountains, so we don't intend to 'step into the gap' and lead Restlech. This is not a coup. To the contrary, we hope that this will allow a new Restlech leadership to emerge, one that is consistent with basic decent treatment of all wizards. Restlech, a fine mountain with extraordinary wizards, deserves this chance.
"With sadness that such a step is necessary to ensure future peace for all, we, the Allied Clans, have chosen to strike this blow in war, so that peace -- and not fear -- might henceforth prevail."
The blow that was struck consisted, in the main, of the following: Thargor demoted One-Two-Three-Four 200 times, making him vulnerable to almost anyone who cared to demote him. Lucian kamikaze'd One-Two-Three-Four, costing the latter 60 levels. A number of wizards from the Pyroto's Prodigals clan and Paz Clafi's Teeming Millions clan then demoted One-Two-Three-Four between one and twenty times, presumably just to show moral support. In the meantime, Jekyl demoted Thalamus 125 times, Andreus demoted Thalamus 135 times; Rhiannon demoted Tandyman 100 times, Falc demoted Tandyman 85 times; Mingus demoted TZOTL_LKR 162 times, MtnMan demoted TZOTL_LKR 81 times, BigRoryG demoted TZOTL_LKR 78 times. Members of the two clans then drained their victims hundreds of times.
Since that initial stomping, Thalamus was bestowed out of negative by Fionn Mac Cumhail and then promoted 199 levels by Dark Heron and Cjilgott, TZOTL_LKR was promoted a fair number of times by Prince of Thieves, and all four main victims have been at least partially resuscitated by Bricker, who explained that he never intended the punishment to be crippling or permanent. So far, the revived wizards have "played nice", except for one instance of Thalamus draining Adelnaws 30 times.
It's difficult to say what the most drastic effect of the so-called "Restlech Improvement Project" will be. Closer relations between the land's two most powerful clans? Improved understanding of the need for offensive spells on the part of the previously pacifist Teeming Millions? A new spirit of dependence, or perhaps independence, on the part of Restlech's dozens of Indigoes and Blues, who were for some reason seen as being unable to take care of their own mountain and excluded from the whole affair? A greater appreciation of the need to carefully consider the consequences of the allies one picks and the actions one supports?
As with all major struggles, it is to be hoped that both victors and victims will benefit from the contest.What's Next?
TPO asked some of the key participants in the conflict what they thought was the best solution to the current state of affairs on Restlech:
- Bricker: "The ideal solution is the one that seems to be unfolding -- the rankers of Restlech are tending to their mountain well, and the citizens of other mountains no longer have to watch their every keystroke on Ether for fear of a chance offending."
- Corrado: "Whatever the ranking Wizards of Restlech choose to do, so long as the Ether remains free of people Demoting lower-level Wizards for their 'tone' and 'attitude'."
- Fionn Mac Cumhail: "A couple of metric tons of napalm."
- Thalamus: "Our mountain has never truly been run by its own governing party, it needs more of a nationalistic power base and autonomy. It's true that outside influences have contributed a fair amount of help, but it's time that we learned to run the mountain ourselves."
- YT TIGER: "The best for Restlech right now would be for [One-Two-Three-Four] to temporarily migrate with a clean slate. He'll be back to Indigo and Magenta in no time."
- Mingus: "I think that should be left up to the wizards that inhabit Restlech. I find that each mountain in the realm is taking on it's own personality. This 'personality' has thus far been determined by the rankers. I, and some of my teammates, think the masses should learn that they *can* control their environment if they communicate and work together."
- TZOTL_LKR and One-Two-Three-Four declined to suggest a course of action.
Miss Manna
Dear Miss Manna,
I keep trying to Ascend but the mentor is annoyed. Stupid mentor! What the hell? I work all day, then I come home to this. You can bet all the wizards on my mountain are going to hear about this!
Troubled on TiduredGentle Wizard,
Maybe the mentor is annoyed because you are so darn irritating? No, no. Miss Manna kids. Much like in life, you might want to take a situation such as the one you've encountered with the mentor and use it as an opportunity to examine your own behaviour. Was there something in particular you did that might have annoyed the mentor, such as asking for a whole bunch of favours? Did you act like all you love him for is a good climb, rather than as a guide along your journey?
Consider your actions and then think about how you might handle the situation if you came across it in real life. What other actions have you performed before that pleased TSOTL?
Miss Manna assures you that while your fellow wizards feel for your plight, complaining relentlessly on the message bands about this will annoy your comrades as well as the mentors.Meet Your Overlords: Tandyman
Following his recent fall from power on Restlech, Tandyman recovered remarkably quickly and has once again emerged as one of the top wizards on that mountain.Who are you and where do you come from?
I'm Tandyman from Restlech. Actually I'm a native Restlechian. I'm pretty sure that this question follows the fact that very few non-Restelechians knew my name until the recent events that took place. I know I don't get out onto the ether much... I'm trying to change that.How did you ascend to a position of power on Restlech?
Hehehe...You're trying to get me in trouble there! Well I did a good job climbing up to about the 150s on my own, with very few promotes. After that it was promote city, half coming from One-Two-Three-Four and others, the other half coming from Bricker and the restoration after the Falling.What was the nature of your relationship with One-Two-Three-Four, and how did that come about?
That's an interesting story. I'm sure that many of the older Restlechians remember Fantome. Well when Fantome's reign of true terror came about I was sitting around the Green-Blue area. A new wizard had just joined the mountain with the name Genitalia. This was very offensive to Fantome and she took it upon herself to "insist" that Genitalia change her name. To me this was a violation of Restlech's free speech rules, so I spoke up on her behalf. This earned me a few things. One was a 10-level promote from my excellent response (that was from Rubicon), next was a three-level demote from Fantome for speaking up. Thirdly One-Two-Three-Four (it was Soup at the time) restored those levels and stated that any more unjust demotes that were to come my way would be restored. After that we joined climbing groups, and later clans.
Bascially the nature was one of free speech and abolishing the unjust (funny that those were the same reasons that he was overthrown).How has that changed now?
Well, not a whole heck of a lot. The roles are reversed; I'm on top and watching out for a friend.Do you pay attention to the affairs of the other mountains?
Well not really. The only exposure that I've received concerning other mountain politics has been through The Pyroto Observer. I hope that this is about to change though. I'm venturing out into the ether more so I think that I will run into more of you before my time here is through.What was the worst aspect of the "Restlech Improvement Project"?
Hmmm...The out pouring of hate directed towards One-Two-Three-Four. I likened it to dancing on someone's grave. It was truly disgusting that so many people would not stand up for themselves when he was in power. If freedom is highly valued then it should be worth fighting for.
I lost a lot of respect for some wizards who started their messages off with "Now that One-Two-Three-Four is gone I can say that I never liked him or his style of governing..."What was the best aspect of the "Restlech Improvement Project"?
Besides the obvious answer of Restlech's new start, I think that a lot of Restlech's skeletons have been laid to rest. All of the ill wills that were harboured by other can now go by the wayside. I've said this many times but one more wouldn't hurt, it's time to forgive and forget now. I'm delighted to say that there has been some forgiveness taking place but there is still a lot more to go.If you could change three things about your mountain, what would you change?
Firstly, I think that it is well past time to move on. I do believe that we are getting bogged down on some issues that have been resolved. I want to pick things up and get back on track in that respect.
Second, a bit of balance needs to be restored to the magentas on Restlech. Over the past few days I feel like I'm being attacked from all sides on issues concerning the mountain. Being the lone voice going against the current is a hard job to keep up for any length of time.
Third, our public realtions with other mountains is horrid. I would like to see some dialogues opened up with the other mountains. Improving communication should be high on the order of business after the remaining mess is sorted out.What do you think lies ahead for you and your associates?
Well after our kamikaze runs on Tim and Tombo...kidding! Same old, same old. Climb!Bonus question, if you want to tackle it: Who do you think is the most skilled player on Restlech, and why?
You're trying to get me in trouble again! I've got two candidates: Chameleon, who takes the time to read every single message on Restlech! That is quite an amazing daily feat. Prince of Thieves. I admire his open frankness and his ability to remain coherent in the fit of a passionate arguement. If I could add a disclaimer here, there were many wizards who would earn an honourable mention!
The wizard EeLz invites you to visit his new Cat Chronicles website at http://wogglydog.tripod.com/
catchronicles/Souldance invites you to
a satirical look at PyrotoWildman/Hermit seeks anyone wishing to relocate to Smihosdamn Smodira with an end to scaling its heights together. All high flyers welcome. Contact Ezobei.
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Sexy ads like those above cost only 300 manna points per run, are archived permanently, and reach a broader audience than either Proclaim or the Announcements ether channel. If you'd like your ad to appear in future editions of TPO, please contact or e-mail Ninjalicious.Admin Notes
Sorry this edition is both brief and late, but even we newsletter authors need a vacation occasionally, and submissions just haven't been pouring in lately. Please do consider submitting articles about your mountain to Ninjalicious; there's no possible way I can keep up with everything interesting on eight active mountains!
Extra thanks to those who helped pick up some of the slack this issue: FFTobago, Corrado, Bricker and Tandyman.
P.S. Interested parties can access older issues of TPO here."Pyroto" and a bunch of other words here are trademarks of Pyroto, Inc.