The Pyroto Observer an entirely unofficial take on current events in the land of Pyroto

Yes, It's Very Late
Yes indeed, this edition is terrifically late, due to a combination of vacations, banishments and good old-fashioned laziness. It is so late, in fact, that almost the entire Land has changed, in some ways quite radically. In the interest of allowing readers to enjoy this edition in less than the span of time between two calls to Pyroto, I intend to cover the most significant events as concisely as possible. Fear not -- I'll go back to my usual long-winded overanalysis next issue.
       And now, without any further ado, on to the top story to break on Pyroto in the past month...

"Tim_lauer's Either" Ether Channel Launched!
Dark_shadow, formerly known as Tim_lauer, has finally gotten around to Creating his own Ether channel, "Tim_lauer's Either".
       A thirteen-year-old boy with brown hair, blue eyes, who stands five feet and eleven inches tall, Dark_shadow describes himself as "a considerably smart young lad with an inteligence quotiant of one hundred and fiffty one".
       The stated purpose of "Tim_lauer's Either" is that the channel "is open to anything, on or off topic." Dark_shadow also makes a (sadly unfulfilled) pledge to post about his day each day, as he has a very interesting life most of the time.

The Dawn of the Pinnacle Era
In other news, at 5653:466, Pyroto Mountain became the first mountain to enter the Pinnacle Era when Ninjalicious and FFTobago managed to scramble to the top just ahead of the very-rapidly-climbing Imaz-based team of AmbushBug, AvylaJewelSynda, Dilerium, Mr.Gene, Mr.Paul, Punky, Squawkk, and Souldance. It was a tight contest of two wizards against eight, involving a gruelling all-night posting and climbing battle between Ninjalicious and AmbushBug, but eventually the Pyrotians' ability to Ascend in bonus proved to be more useful than the Imazians' greater numbers. The Imazians reached their mountain's Pinnacle the following day.

A Noble Sacrifice - Really!
Mr.Gene, never a fan of anything to do with Pyroto Mountain, picked a fight with the wizard Prince of Thieves when the latter defended Pyroto's anti-mass-promotion rule.
       Attempting to make Prince of Thieves into a hypocrite, Mr.Gene promoted him 50 levels. Rather than accept dirty levels, Prince of Thieves chose to strike back by casting Kamikaze against Mr.Gene -- costing Mr.Gene 389 levels (which his climbing partners restored almost immediately) and gobs of esteem.
       Mr.Gene, apparently impressed with Prince of Thieves' stand, declined to retaliate. Prince of Thieves repaid the cost of the his enemy's level restoration and Migrated back to his home mountain of Restlech not long afterward.

The First Reduce
On 5656, Mr.Gene became the first wizard in the land to haul out one of the big-boy spells, when he Reduced Restlech's no-longer-active Odinsday in revenge for a past attack.
       In Mr.Gene's words: "Realm date 5607 is significant for two reasons: it is the day that Mr.Gene was DEMOTEd 150 levels by a wizard that he had never heard of, much less interacted with. It was also the same date that the said wizard, Odinsday, last logged on. To those who have come to understand the politcal machinery and chicanery which trickles like old, tired blood underneath the saccharine facade of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' posts, it is no secret that Odinsday was the puppet of a Pyrotian agenda to keep Restlech under close control. Odinsday was probably some cheap whore that oh, I don't know, Andreus would drag out of his closet, or perhaps even Ninjalicious's mother. Perhaps Odinsday was both and the same. Suffice to say, Odinsday was an instrumental cog in the suppression of certain wizards' climbing attempts, a tool of politcal manipulation and, in my case, an annoyance. Odinsday was certainly no model wizard. Nor an active one, since there has been no activity from this wizard since my DEMOTEtion. Odinsday's levels and manna are now a truer reflection of this wizard's calibre."

Conflict at the Top of Pyroto
On 5656, Ninjalicious and FFTobago toppled the members of the Prodigals clan and their newly-immigrated-to-Pyroto climbing partner, Bricker.
       The attack surprised many, as the eight wizards involved had had mostly friendly relations in the past. Though they didn't climb together, the top wizards had generally agreed on mountain policies. Among these policies was a rule against mass promotions, conceived and Proclaimed by Thargor, Ninjalicious, Mingus, Jekyl, and FFTobago long ago. That rule read:

In the last week or two, several fairly inactive wizards here on Pyroto have received dozens of seemingly unearned promotions. In the opinion of most of the high-level wizards here, these mass promotions unfairly devalue the efforts of the majority, who have struggled up the mountain in a more traditional manner by actively participating in the message bands; effectively managing their manna, esteem and patience; researching the mentors' questions, and so on.
       In an attempt to stop this nasty trend, wizards who seem to abusing the PROMOTE spell and contributing to level deflation will have their work undone, and wizards who indulge in such behaviour continually may risk further punishment.

       By Ninjalicious and FFTobago's interpretation, this rule was intended to make sure everyone on the mountain earned their levels, either by themselves or as part of a climbing team, and ruled out Promoting even friendly wizards far above any level they'd ever climbed to on their own. By the Prodigals' interpretation, this rule merely was aimed at preventing worthless players from climbing to a height where they could do serious damage, particularly with Kamikaze, and did not apply to talented players recruited to join climbing teams.
       When Mingus began promoting Bricker, and Bricker began promoting Andreus, far above any level those wizards had ever earned, Ninjalicious explained to Mingus in Contact that these actions violated the anti-mass-promotion rule as he understood it. (Bricker and the other Prodigals were not contacted, in the assumption that Mingus would consult with her allies.) When Mingus replied that she did not intend to be bound by such a rule and the mass promotions continued, Ninjalicious and FFTobago decided to stop the Prodigals and Bricker from getting to the Pinnacle, where their majority would rule.
       Ninjalicious Banished Bricker and Mingus; FFTobago Reduced Thargor, Jekyl and MsMittens. Ninjalicious, FFTobago, Souldance, Nighty and Chicken-Fried Steak then demoted Andreus to the low levels of the mountain. Other active wizards on Pyroto then bestowed manna to Ninjalicious and FFTobago until the two Pinnacle wizards were back at maximum.
       Bricker and Mingus reappeared as Ghost_of_Bricker on Broppsfar and Ghost_of_Mingus on Paz Clafi. The other Prodigals remained on Pyroto at first, and all the affected wizards began a rapid reascent.

Banishy Banishy Banishy
Not long after the above attack, Mr.Gene decided to become offended by Ninjalicious and FFTobago's attack on the Prodigals and Bricker, and posted several venomous tirades on the subject.
       Finding no one was up for a Mr.Gene-style debate, Mr.Gene asked his climbing partners Souldance and AmbushBug to support him in Migrating to Pyroto to "stir up some shit". Expecting Mr.Gene to rant and rave as usual, the two agreed, and Souldance promoted Mr.Gene up to Pyroto's pinnacle after his Migration.
       Mr.Gene then apparently surprised everyone when he Banished Ninjalicious and FFTobago, against the common understanding of how the Banish spell works. Banish, like Demote, requires the attacker to be a certain number of levels above the victim, but at the time of the attacks, all three wizards were at level 512.
       While Ninjalicious and FFTobago started playing with new wizards on new mountains, Souldance and AmbushBug Banished Mr.Gene and Migrated to Pyroto, expressing contrition for what Mr.Gene had done and their desire to stick around to provide stability while the mountain got its act back together. Their presence made some wizards uncomfortable; Ms.Mittens Migrated away to Piafil Tons to demonstrate her distaste for the situation.
       The new order was not long-lived, however, as the Servants quickly ruled that the attack had only been possible due to a software bug. Ninjalicious and FFTobago were restored to their former status, though Mr.Gene elected to remain banished. Souldance and AmbushBug returned home to Imaz not very long afterwards, leaving the general situation not much changed.

Exodus Part III
Restlech may be known as "the troublemaking mountain", but it could just as easily be known as "the colonizing mountain". The first wave of Restlechian refugees, the Teeming Millions, colonized and became entirely dominant on Paz Clafi. The second wave colonized and dominated Iard Crimleu. Now, months later, another large group has retreated from Restlech, following the second wave to the mountain of Iard Crimleu. The group, commonly known as the Magenta Chicks, consists of Galahadriel, Mainiac, Clare, Acapellican, Stamback, Chameleon, Myriad, YT TIGER, Prometheus119 and others.
       Though the wizard Turin was unhappy enough about the massively changed balance of power on his home mountain to Migrate away to Pyroto, by and large the transition has been peaceful.

Restlech Improves Itself
And as the Magenta Chicks were getting comfortable on their new slope, it was business as usual on Restlech.
       The conflict began when known garbage-poster Miehele Proclaimed some spam and was severely punished by Havok. When Chicken-Fried Steak (more commonly known as Soup or Fred) and Venus and Serena Williams (more commonly known as Nkoh or Barney) intervened on Miehele's behalf, their old alliances quickly fell apart, and they were engaged in a long (for Pyroto) up-and-down war against former allies and friends.
       Through a complex series of Kamikazes, friendly Promotes and Bestowals, hostile Drains, Steals, and Demotes -- and with a little manna support from wizards on other mountains -- the wizards Silverleaf, Havok, daMuppet, Tandyman, Prince of Thieves and Angel123 managed to recover from the constant attacks against them and to gradually wear down both Chicken-Fried Steak and Venus and Serena Williams, and to keep their helpers Miehele and Isabell at bay.
       In the Epilogue of this battle, Chicken-Fried Steak out of negative on the condition that he leave the mountain. For reasons unknown, Chicken-Fried Steak chose Pyroto, and immediately upon arrival attempted a Kamikaze against the wizard Amado. He was immediately Drained into negative by Fionn Mac Cumhail and then Banished by Ninjalicious.
       If he has started playing again, he's so far managed to keep himself fairly well hidden.

The Standings
Will be covered next issue. If you're from a distant mountain, please help out by submiting Omniviews!
       (Congrats to Bricker Prime, Falc, Rhiannon, and UPSMan on making Paz Clafi the third mountain to enter the Pinnacle era!)

Geography News by Saltire
TPO inspired a large project when it published Survey information about the local mountains in the 5600 issue. Soon, wizards were drawing maps and trying to translate the mountain names into English, there was an ether channel on the subject, and all the data related to the project was being gathered on a website. Unfortunately, these efforts have yielded much interesting speculation but little concrete fact. For the purposes of this article, I'll concentrate on featuring some of the interesting facts presented by the data. If you are interested in the history of this effort, please read the Geography of the Land ether. If you want to see the lists of mountains, distances, and Mentor names, see the Geography of the Land website.

• Tim, designer of Pyroto, (and a close friend of The Inventor Mage), seems quite interested in these efforts. He has posted several hints and encouragements to the geographers.
• All the mountain names and mentor names are in a language we call Pyrotian (for want of a better term) except for one. The word 'Pyroto' is not in Pyrotian, but Tim has told us that the mountain's Pyrotian name is Woslamu Hechem Tenkast. This is the only three-word mountain name. Elemental names are not in Pyrotian, for the same reason that Pyroto isn't: The Inventor Mage named them before he learned the Pyrotian tongue.
• Except for Pyroto's secret name, Smihosdahm Smodira is the longest mountain name seen so far. There are four mountains tied for shortest name, Cef, Cha, Kor, and Lau. Alphabetically, the 447 known mountain names range from Aijfar to Zwirprafi.
• A wizard at the pinnacle of Pyroto cannot see the entire Land with the Survey spell. There are fifty mountains catalogued so far that are not on Pyroto's radar. The full extent of the land will not be seen until Surveys are done from the top of outlying mountains, or until some adventurer circumnavigates the Land (if, that is, there is an edge at all). There are several wizards attempting this feat right now.
• Maps drawn from the Survey data show an interesting pattern: The central part of the Land shows similarities to a star map of the constellation Orion (with Imaz-Pyroto-Restlech making up the famous belt). This is not a proven conclusion, since maps have not been extended far enough to see if other constellations are represented.  
  The constellation Orion (left) and the centre of the Land (right).

• The Target spell costs an amount of manna roughly equivalent to the kilometer distance traveled. The Visit spell costs twice that, and Migrate costs five times the Target cost. These values only affect the additional cost, and do not take into account the base cost of the spell. When Visiting or Migrating, a wizard will lose one level for every twenty kilometers traveled.
• The mountains Rumo and Iffirlili are closer together than any other mountains Surveyed. These peaks are only 32 kilometers from one another.
• Many Mentors share common first names, and particular Mentors seem to keep to certain levels of a mountain. However, the same mentor names have shown up on more than one mountain, at a different set of levels on each.
• Tim has told us that mountains with 'clafi' in their names are near a stand of trees, those with 'pou' are near a small body of water, and that mountains with 'bemi' in their names have coniferous trees upon them. There are five mountains with 'clafi' as a name element, four with 'pou' and six with 'bemi', as well as two with 'iard' and three with 'smodira.'
• Denachu Gochelpif, the Writer of the Scrolls, shares his last name with two mountains, Gochelpiffar and Gochelpiffkalact.
• Tim has also graced us with a poem in Pyrotian, which he says is about the triumph of discovery. He included a phonetic version as a pronunciation aid, but I'll just give the pure Pyrotian:
  

  Scim saniwah tau ta glolk
  Taul hou bord spes sikalid
  Pu spes foretodira
  Tau chah spod tau tet ed
  

Miss Manna
Dear Miss Manna,
I have recently become frustrated (not for the first time) with a powerful wizard on another mountain. Rather than dredge up months of disagreements and try to come to peaceful terms with this wizard, I think instead it would be easier to merely post snide things about him in various places. I don't really feel I owe him an explanation -- after all, he started the whole thing by slandering me, right?
Giving up on Gleejit Glooj

Gentle Wizard,
In Pyroto as in life, it is your prerogative to like or dislike whatever persons -- or mountains -- you choose. However, lessons can be learned from observing others' mistakes, rather than repeating them. If you have a real problem with a wizard, why give him or her publicity by harping on sore points if they are not there to either successfully prove -- or successfully defend -- your points? As the Land expands, it has become more and more popular to talk about one another (and one another's mountains) behind their backs. But in a game where people frequently come back to where they've been before (or in some cases, come back from the dead!), it seems unwise to talk big when it appears the parties in question might not be listening. Miss Manna doesn't, of course, mean to suggest you aren't prepared to stand behind your words -- she just wonders why, if you think the situation is worth the energy to talk behind their back about, you wouldn't rather try and reconcile (or at least agree to disagree) with the wizard causing you concern -- rather than making you both look bad.

The Spirit of Total Lunacy by Turin
This week, TPO introduces a new regular feature, called "The Spirit of Total Lunacy", which aims to bring to light some of the "special" characteristics of the Land's wizards that make life so interesting and unpredictable for the rest of us.
       To give you a flavour of what TSOTL means, consider the case of Polaris1, a Magenta wizard with a problem. See, Polaris1 was not enjoying being a magenta, because... well, here's Polaris1, in her own words:

"I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm getting it from clicking ascend. This wasn't much of a problem clicking from 16 to 30's, or 32 to 60's, even 64 to 120's wasn't too bad. Now that I'm clicking over 100 times to get past 128 it's just too much. How on earth can those poor magenta's do it from 256 to 500? Sometimes I try to post in the Ether to rest my clicking finger. [In these posts], it is harder than you might think to post without using j's, u's, m's, n's, h's, y's or 7's and 8's. Some nights I just don't have the time after reading on most of the levels and I'm tired and just want to charge out."

       This is reminiscent of the tale of the woman on the subway a few weeks ago who thought she could only go one stop at a time and then had to walk the rest of the way.
       TSOTL has now tired of your presence. Go away.

Admin Notes
Hey, if you really want TPO to be thorough, accurate and on time, please do consider submitting info or articles about your mountain to Ninjalicious; there's no possible way I can keep up with everything interesting on more than a dozen active mountains!
       P.S. Interested parties can access older issues of TPO here.

"Pyroto" and a bunch of other words here are trademarks of Pyroto, Inc.

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