Day 674
The natives have realised that I am alive. Yesterday they finally got around to checking my breathing and found that I am in fact doing so. While I am scared that they will be offended by my life, I am also hopeful that they will now let me down.
Day 675
No such luck. They have begun to stick large sticks into my stomach and chest. While I can hardly approve, it seems silly to object.
Day 676
They've eaten me. Bastards.