One of the men who sat in the park and threw things at the birds was different. It wasn't just his long robes and his red skullcap. He didn't have any bread, so he threw stones. Not just pebbles either, for he had no desire to seem stingy. Large rocks that could possibly be classified as boulders with a little luck and a lot of love.
He would also step on slugs, and swallow bugs. He also had some flame throwers he would carry around with him in order to kill small birds and mammals. Sometimes he would stick spikes in lizards and watch them shrivel in the sun. That made him laugh. Hee hee.
But the animal killer did more than kill animals. He was the pope of the Roman Catholic Church, and had to accept all the responsibilities inherent in this position, such as letting animals live. He didn't like it. He kept pushing to have God say something about how evil animals were and how they should all be killed to make room for more Catholics. He had a large bumper sticker which he would plaster onto the sides of cats and small dogs. It read, "I can't be converted. I have no soul."
The animal killer would launch into a long harangue every dinnertime with the bishops and cardinals which happened to drop by, about what fine dead cow they were eating and how grateful he was for its slaughter. They all hated him, of course, but he was the pope and hence the most holy person on earth.
During his tour of Austria, the animal killer tossed his normal speech into the crowd and began to speak from the heart. "Animals are evil!" he raged. "They are a plague which must be destroyed!" He then proceeded to remove a parakeet from a cage beneath the podium. He held it aloft and allowed the crowd to stare at its hideous form. "See the evil!" commanded the animal killer, as he cracked the parakeet's neck and removed the parakeet's confused head from its shaking body. He tossed both pieces into the crowd.
The crowd stared on, some overcome with sadness, some furious, many in a state of shock. Some picked up rocks and began the throw them at the animal killer. The animal killer picked up a nearby penguin and used it as a shield as he ran behind a safety glass cylinder, and snapped the lock which could only be opened from the inside or by a key which resided in Warsaw. The crowd now frothed onto the stage, knocking over the podium and any security guards which blocked their way. They grabbed the animal killer's impenetrable shell and smashed it over and over with rocks. The animal killed stared on in horror. Why did these fools like animals so much?
Eventually, the crowd realized that nothing short of minor explosives or poison gas could kill the animal killer while he was inside his protective shell. "Let's throw him in the Danube!" someone yelled, and a chorus of voices shouted their approval. The crowd managed to hoist the heavy shell atop them, and proceeded to the river, crying and angry.
The shell was lifted and tossed. The heavy shell immediately plummeted, shattering the slow flowing water. The animal killed watched as the crowd fizzed and became cloudy, and then faded out of view. The water immediately began to pour in through the door holes and many small air holes in the floor and ceiling. The animal killer screamed for help. His robe became soaked, and within minutes he was struggling to breathe. He paddled furiously in his efforts to get his nose to what little oxygen remained. Soon it was gone, and the animal killer breathed gallon after gallon of fresh water. Unfortunately, he was not a fish, so he died.