/| C o m m e n t a r y |\
/ | | \
/ | W i t h | \ <=- Cheese
/ | | \
/____| C h e e z e |____\
|____| |____|
by DragonLord
Cheeze. Say it. Cheeze. Isn't that a cool word? The very phonetic pronounciation of it is enough to make one think of many different kinds of cheezes. Have you ever stopped to wonder how much cheeze reflects life? Well, I'm here to tell you that it does, and in many ways. You would be surprised at how much cheeze really does reflect life. Let's look at that aspect, shall we?
o There are many different types of cheezes, just as there are many types of people.
o Cheeze sometimes smells. Hey, so does life.
o Sometimes, cheeze has little holes in it. Life can be that way.
o Cheeze has many different colours. Life ... ditto.
o The older cheeze gets, the better it gets. (Or so we're told) Life can in many ways reflect this ideally.
o Cheeze goes great on toast, or on burgers.
o Life can be wonderful when you're not dead.
Isn't it uncanny how much life has in common with cheeze? We tend to take cheeze for granted, figuring that it will always be there when we need something to snack upon. But we never seem to fully realize just how versatile and similar it is to us.
On to another aspect of cheeze, let's examine this whole misconception about cheeze and mice. Mice, contrary to popular belief, do _NOT_ like cheeze. If the truth were to be known, mice really prefer a good bit of plastic to anything else. Henceforth, mice have absolutely no relation to cheeze, and therefore, have no life. (Mice also spell cheeze with an S - further proof) Mice will eat cheeze only as a last resort, and then only if they've got absolutely nothing else to eat, which also includes gnawing off their own paws for sustenance. One could also go on to conclude that mice are not alive, based on this exact premise, nor do they go good on toast or on a burger.
Another point of interest I thought I would bring up is the controversy over how it should be spelled. First off I should point out that there is only one real spelling, and that is C-H-E-E-Z-E. Scientific research has gone on to prove that 98% of those who spell it with an S are homosexual. This has been derived from the theory that most homosexuals speak with a lisp, and hence end out pronouncing it "Cheethe" instead of "Cheeze". The other two percent that spell it with an S are those who believe that homosexuals pronounce it "Cheethe" because they are unable to properly pronounce the letter S, which is a common misconception among people. Most people overlook the fact that it is also the letter Z that they can not pronounce properly, which is a common failing in the English Language. Many do not know that the English language was, in part, derived from a homosexual frenchman, who frequely misprounounced many things. English linguists picked up his pronounciations but failed to look into whether he spoke with a lisp or not. Hence, many of the words we say in the English language should have been spelled with a Z, where they are now spelled with Ss and soft Cs. The only living exception to this fact is the word "Czar", which was only spelled as such because a russian emigrant to the british colonies in the early seventeenth century discovered this frenchman's speech impediment and, being unable to change the spelling completely, lest he change its meaning alltogether, he added a Z after the soft C for clarity. Unfortunately, many people only heard this word verbally, never having seen it spelled out, and ended up spelling it "Tsar" in many cultures, which is entirely unlike its original predecessor.
But I digress. Cheeze: Think about it!
This message brought to you by your local bottler of cheeze.