It was called "Bnrume's Amazing Circus of Delights." But that was a lie. A GODDAMNED LIE. It was a boring circus. There was nothing the least bit amazing and delightful about it.
Still, just the idea of circis being in town attracted a few hundred people to the large grey tent in the middle of town. They paid their money at a small wooden shed and began to mill about and look at the pre-show attractions.
To begin with, there was the Freak Shows. These included Harvey, the man who ate, Linda, the really old woman who had a hint of a mustache, Gary, the guy who liked to dress up as a woman (or so he said, no one had actually seen him dressed up as a woman), and the star of the show, Frank, who was just this guy.
They filed to the big top and sat down on the benches expectantly. A circus employee whistled and out came Bnrume. "Hi," he said. He shuffled his feet and look around. He started looking for some stuff in his pockets. He pulled out a deck of cards. He fanned them out: "Pick a card, any card." No one did. They just sat there. Staring.
Bnrume put the cards away. "So...." Bnrume said. Some kid yelled: "Where are the tigers! I wanna see the tiger!" "Here's a rabid cat. Here, kid, he's yours. Just go home."
Bnrume sighed and sat down on a nearby chair. Someone clapped. "Yep," said Bnrume in a very bored voice. He sat still for a few moments. "On with the show," Bnrume announced. If you will direct your attention to my left, you will see Ossa, and his trained dog!"
"Sit!" Ossa said. The dog sat. "MY dog can do that," someone yelled. "Get him!" yelled Ossa. The dog homed in on the man with pure animal instinct, dragged him from the tent by the flesh of his throat, and tore out both lungs. Everyone cheered.
Bnrume now announced the beginning of the trapeze show. He pointed at the trapeze swings as two men dressed in regular street clothes swung back and forth for about 40 minutes. They took a ten minute smoke break, and some of the audience thought it was an intermission until Bnrume informed them that it was part of the show. Then they got off the swings and went home.
"And now, may I direct your attetion to high, high, HIGH atop the diving tower," Bnrume said, pointing to the top of a 12-foot ladder. There was a man there with a cloth dummy. He threw it off and it landed with a solid thump.
"And now the part you've all been waiting for... the highwire walkers," Bnrume said. The highwire walkers came out behind Bnrume and danced a bit, and then left. "Sorry, we don't have a highwire. Imagine if they had done that one hundred feet in the air, though. Whoo!"
"Well," Bnrume said. "That's it. You can all go now." Everybody left. And they were happy, damn it. And DEAD!!!!