Danny rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he walked into the room and stared at the bright lights on the towering tree. His parents stood by, gazing on with pride. Mr. Walters took the wooden pipe from his mouth to say, "Merry Chirstmas, son." Mrs. Walters wiped a tear from her cheek with her apron.
Danny knelt down beside the tree, captivated by the multitude of presents. He stared lovingly at his parents, as he grabbed a green package labelled, "Love From Mom and Dad to Danny." A picture of a smiling Santa filled Danny's heart with glee, as he gently peeled back the cheerful green wrapping.
Inside, was more than he had ever dreamed possible. His face lit up with joy as he recognized the Kraft label. He peeled back the plastic to reveal dozens of glorious slices of processed cheeze food, lovingly wrapped in cellophane. Giving way to his temptation, he gingerly peeled off the transparent wrapper and savoured the orange slice of heaven. He turned around and tenderly cradled the remaining cheeze in his arms, and faced his parents. "Thanks Mom and Dad, this was the best Christmas ever!"
"There's more son," his father said, puffing his pipe, his chest enlarged with pride. "Keep going!"
Danny's eyes lit up with delight. "More?" he said, turning to back to the tree. He grasped another package, this one red. The tag informed him that this was "From Santa to Danny." He giddily tore the paper off, and stared in delight at two shimmering litres of 2% milk. "How'd Santa know?" he wondered aloud. Mrs. Walters clutched tightly to Mr. Walters's arm as tears of bliss rolled down her cheeks. "This is the best Christmas EVER!" Danny exclaimed, as he stood and embraced his parents.
"But there's more Danny!" Mrs. Walters weeped joyously. "Go on!"
And indeed there was! Danny was overjoyed as he discovered generous servings of yogurt - all the best flavours, milk, butter and cheeze - dozens of temptuous pats of butter, and gobs of sour cream. There was brie, blue cheeze, swiss, cheddar, limburger, mozzarella... every variety of cheeze under the sun. Putting down his "Make Your Own Cheeze Kit", he turned to his loving parents and cried, "This is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!"
His parents looked at each other coyly and chuckled softly. "There's one more, Danny! Look again!"
Danny searched under the tree once more. After a few moments, he stumbled upon a very large white and red package, with suspicious holes and strange mooing sounds emanating from within. His eyes widened with anticipation. He ripped off two pounds worth of wrapping paper, revealing a present unlike any present received by any other little boy anywhere in the world. "Moo," it said, in a way that seemed to say, "I'm your very best friend forever. Milk me." Its udder dripped fresh, warm milk.
"Another cow?" Danny whined, crushed. "That's six! You promised no more cows!" He raced out of the room with his cow in tow, heading towards the slaughterhouse.
Mr. Walters turned to console his distraught wife. "He'll come around. Next year."