In a hole in the universe there lived a planet. Not a wet, muddy hole filled with worm ends and a oozy smell, nor yet a dry sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat. This was a SpiKey hole, and that meant mucus.
Yes, the planet was shriveled and greasy, and glowed with an eeire green light, having been in the past a dumping ground for radioactive snot. The surface of this planet was slippery and sticky, but in the catacombs underneath, the 'ground' had hardened, and it was here that the inhabitants dwelled.
One such inhabitant was a short nobody named Ikki the Gumm. He walked along a passage from his cavern to the market, and looked at a new sign put up by the ruling tyrant, Lord Snotsworth. For those not enlightened on the subject, a man named SpiKey PerSon had once bought the planet, but found out later that half of it was alread owned by Lord Snotsworth, who was an avid hunter and megalomaniac. He eventually took over the entire planet by sheer force and drove SpiKey into the underworld. Anyway, this sign bore the words:
By Royal Decree, from his Majesty, Lord Snotsworth:
The following acts are hereby made illegal on Slimeball:
Ikki looked at this sign and, perplexed, scratched his head. A small Chinese family of 150 people fell to their deaths on the hardened 'ground' from his hair. Somewhere deep inside his head, a tiny gremlin lived with his wife and two kids. This gremlin was named Eddie, and he was getting fat and middle-aged, and was accustomed to lounging about nibbling on the fungus that naturally grew within Ikki's cranium. When Ikki scratched his head, it disturbed Eddie away from a particularily juicy bit of fungi. He wondered what it all meant, and after a moment, went to the manuals which came with his job as caretaker of Ikki's head. Finally, he realized that this noise meant that Ikki wanted to process information. Grumbling, Eddie sauntered over to his control panel and turned on the appropriate switches. A loud rumbling sound was heard as Ikki finally began to understand the sign.