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DRONZOL and the Supernova

In their search for a more appropriate form of meat, the scientist and his assistant Appinius, and a nearby tailor, dug a passage thirty miles under the surface of our planet. What they found shocked and delighted them. It was the size of a weasel, and was in fact a weasel. The men were easily delighted, you see.

Together with the weasel, the scientist, Appinius and the tailor formed a band of hearty adventurers. This new force of justice took the name DRONZOL, after their aunt. DRONZOL fought crime wherever it lurked. Within minutes, they had brought Rodrigo "Hjk" Chichonez to justice, ending our planet's largest ring of illegal goings-on. DRONZOL was everywhere hailed as the best thing to happen to crimefighting since the domestication of fish. Suddenly, DRONZOL heard the phone ring.

"DRONZOL here," said DRONZOL.
"DRONZOL?" asked the president.
"Yes," said DRONZOL.
"DRONZOL, This Is The President," said the president.

And thus DRONZOL was recruited to save our planet from the upcoming supernova of the sun. They only had 6 hours and 17 minutes. The members of DRONZOL quickly equipped themselves with canteens filled with high-grade water and hurtled into space at light speed.

Within moments, Appinius spotted the trouble-making star and grimly stated, "There it is."
"That's the one," confirmed the scientist, bitterly.
"That's what we're here for, alright," the weasel said, in a voice filled with contempt.
"Damn sun," said the tailor, as the angry tears rolled down his face.
With only 1 hour, 52 minutes and 22 seconds remaining, DRONZOL hurtled towards the sun at even more ludricrous speeds.

But now there were only 2 minutes and 12 seconds left until the sun supernova'd!

And then there was only 1 minute and 46 seconds!!

And then a mere 18 seconds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.... and then, just in time, DRONZOL did it and our planet was safe. "PHEW!!!" exclaimed DRONZOL, wiping the sweat from their collective forehead. Suddenly, the phone rang again.

"DRONZOL speaking," said DRONZOL.
"DRONZOL?" asked the president.
"Yes, President?" asked DRONZOL.
"DRONZOL, We Are All Very Proud Of You," said the president.

                              @    @    @

Later that evening, back at DRONZOL headquarters, a moose was caught trying on some women's clothing. DRONZOL, the president, "Hjk" Chiconez and the moose all laughed.

NOTES For Scholars

1a.

Given that DRONZOL represents humankind, DRONZOL search for meat underground represents humanity's search for salvation through mining.

1b.

DRONZOL represents humankind (DRONZOL). The scientist is the desire for knowledge; the weasel to show man's weaselish side; Appinius is the one with a name; the tailor, in case they needed some new clothes, or some clothing repairs.

2.

The initial crime-fighting (or Balan Utuunu, as it is more properly known in the special language scholars have developed in order to help them dissect this story more thoroughly) stage exists as a metaphor for the importance of the concept of self-imposition of external systems and the manner in which ideas regarding the de-reversal of the non-hegemony of the political, social and cultural mores relates to the development of new approaches to self-actualization, and also some pita bread.

3.

The President is clearly symbolic of God and his Power (Fot, in proper DRONZOL terminology), whether real or imagined, over humankind (DRONZOL). The President never actually appears in our story, nor do we see clear evidence of him leading DRONZOL in any of their Activities (Moej-moej). Also, he has a big white beard. I think I have proven my point.

4.

The sun is chosen as DRONZOL's nemesis, represents the animosity (or Flaan) which humankind (that is, DRONZOL) feels towards those very concepts which allow it to feel such Flann, such as parents, society and water. We attempt to reconsile these feelings of Flaan only in order to recieve approbation from that to which we feel the Flaan.

          /  Flann towards the Sun; society  (animosity)
         /   |                        ^
DRONZOL <    |Supression brings       |Generates
         \   v                        |
          \  Unflann from the Sun; society (approbation)

What the members of DRONZOL actually DO to the sun is still up for debate, but clearly, this is what humankind (DRONZOL) needs to do. This is probably why this story is constantly re-read, and desparately disected in the search for answers, in classrooms all over our planet.

5.

The moose is clearly The Spirit (or Futa Devio, as it is properly called), showing that only Futa Devio can bring about reconsiliation among men (DRONZOL and "Hjk" Chichonez), their god (the president) and the Futa Devio itself. The story recommends that Futa Devio accomplish this by trying on women's clothing.

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