[Note: add "are stupid" after each word. Written by Milky during a songwriting session in a burst of spite.]
Aardvarks, baloneys, cows, durangoes, ethopians, faces, germans, hangovers, indians, jobs, kangaroos, locks, mongrels, nazis, oreganos, people, quilts, rumours, sauces, tacos, uncles, vindicators, wombats, xeroxes, yahtzees, zepplins.
[Guitar solo]
Austrians, bastards, caves, demons, embryos, flapjacks, guns, hammocks, idiots, junkies, kids, labourers, mountains, neuromancers, ovals, pies, rabbits, songs, tevix-bahns, urangatangs, venuvians, winds, xendrixes, yogurts, z-tempests.
Apples, brains, cats, dogs, fish, giraffes, hottubs, ignitions, jackals, kites, livers, monkeys, nuns, oxen, popsicles, queens, radiators, submarines, telephones, uteruses, vapours, wallets, xylophones, yardsticks, zebras.
[Written on the back of a pizza box in 4 minutes by Milky. Played with a classical guitar, keyboards, Milky and his sister singing]
Me and my baby walking down the street,
I'm so glad that we did meet,
Oh that chick yeah she's so sweet,
Every night we dance to a funky beat.
Chorus:
Annihilated Romance, yeah yeah yeah,
Annihilated Romance, oh oh oh,
Annihilated Romance, yeah yeah yeah,
Annihilated Romance, oh oh oh.
I remember when we first met,
I said to myself we'll be together I bet,
Your silly smile and crazy laugh,
I want to rip your head off.
Baby, you know I want to kill you.
I wish you were dead, too.
Puppy, you know I hate you.
Die bitch. (Ahhh...)
[Written in computers class by Milky. A dumb song. Two versions: the original and the pixie laughter version.]
Yeah sure I like the stove, I think its a great place,
But I prefer the barbecue, so lemme barbecue your face.
Oh no I'm not in the mood for steak, so lemme barbecue your face,
I wannna watch your head bake, so lemme barbecue your face.
I'll even cook up some rice, if you lemme barbecue your face,
Boy it sure would be nice, if you would lemme barbecue your face.
Baked Face, fried face, cooked face, face flambe,
Cooked on the barbecue, cooked on the barbecue!
I like my faces crisp not soggy, lemme barbecue your face,
I'll feed some to my doggy, if you let me barbecue your face.
[Main song written by The Finn, final verse improvised by Milky and Rodent. Sung by Milky and Rodent.]
Walking down the street, I see a pile of barbecue sauce,
Lying next to a small grey furry piece of steel, which CAUGHT MY EYE..
I feel that old mogue feeling again...
Chorus:
I get depressed. I get depressed.
Oh! That big blue monolith of a feeling. I get depressed.
Does anybody have a cost accountant(or something equally ridiculous?)
Sitting in my room, I suddenly feel deja vu for no reason,
And I'm leafing through American Express pamphlets looking for the one with
the spot...
I feel that lavender bloody thing my yak...
Staring at the wall...
I get depressed.
Walking around in circles looking for nothing,
Sniffing everything for no point at all.
Molesting baby bunnies, no chance at a good life.
My cabbages won't grow, I tried cocaine.
Sifting through dead bodies of my dead relatives, my god.
Squirtguns just don't cut it in today's dangerous soceity.
Perplexing how things always seem to explode.
Backwards jackrabbits chests are overrated.
But then again isn't everything worth a smoke?
Yamaha.. Yolanda, Yolanda, Yolanda.
Oops, I think I shot my head.
My holster is undone, my neck is broke, and I'm very very smiley.
Does anyone here know who I am?
You're my brother Frederick, aren't you?
No I'm afraid not. I'm a European centadahoi.. Greece!
Tubular muscles trying to perplex my face.
Surfing down the lane...
Hey, that's me, surfing down the lane, here at my Feature magazine.
Remote controls are for morons, I ain't got none.
Morons are for remote controls, I wanna be one.
Ooh yeah, oh yeah. Why would I lie about something this serious?
I take it close to heart. Like my head, and my diaphragm, and my aorta.
[Written by Milky during a practise. Laden with sarcasm. Sung by Milky and Rodent.]
Sitting in his room, the whole place is painted green,
Saving the world from doom, he wants the world to be clean.
Of course he knows he'll fail, and he'll never change a thing,
No he'll never save a whale, soon the nuke bomb bell will ring.
Recycled the family car, a true save the forest freak,
He's devoted his life to a cause, at least for the rest of the week.
He hates all aerosol, but he's a lover of the compost heap,
Nukes get rid of them all, who's gonna listen to this geek.
Its a must to save the ozone layer, he'd never turn the climate sour,
He doesn't care about his hair, as long as he can save a flower.
He refuses to eat red meat, or so he says this hour,
Businessmen he shall defeat, let's put some hippies in power.
Friend of the animals, that's why he likes the zoo,
Likes talking about what to don't, has no idea what to do.
Ban all plastic from our earth, even Rememberance Day poppies,
Send out save the trees flier, at least 8 billion copies.
He proposes to ban all soap, the clean little hypocrite,
And if he sees you throw out a can, he'll go into a psycho fit.
Let's go back to the olden wyas, everyone will live in a cave,
it'll be just like the good old days, but what world is left to save?
What a goof.
[Written by Milky in math class. 113 occurances of the word face.]
My face was being facial, rolling along facially,
My face thought it was facial, as facial as could be,
My face ran into a face, a really facial face,
My face said to the face, "Face face face face face".
Chorus:
My face, my face, my facial little face,
My face, my face, my god I love me face.
FACE! Oh face. Oh my face. Face face face face face..
The face looked up at my face, and said with a grin,
"Face FACE FACE face face", so my face kicked his in,
My face looked down at his face, and my face was ashamed,
A police face looked at the face, and my face got the blame!
My face got sent to jail, and jail was most unfacial,
My face got sad and pale, as it sat in its jailcell,
My face started to scream, all the faces started to wail,
"Face face face face face, we want our faces outta jail"
The wardenface looked at my face, his face looked quite unfacial,
His face set my face free, my face licked his face farewell,
My face was a free face, my face's future looked facial,
My face got a job, where he sat there and got facial..
My face was really happy, and really, really facial,
My god my face was sappy, so mother-facin' facial,
But then my face had trouble, some of them were racial,
My face ate rocks and rubble, and everything was facial..
My face found a female face, and their faces fell in love,
They ran to the church-place, as faces fell from above,
My face got married to her face, and had little faces,
And they all worshipped my face, we all got jealous gazes..
My face was filled with laughter, it was content within its space,
My face was happy ever after, face face face face face!
[Written by Milky in math class. Dumb song with a long title.]
I hate you for no reason, and this Wednesday if you're free,
I'd like to come to your house, and kill you and your family.
First I'd kill your sister, and then I'd kill your wife,
And even if I miss her, I'll still get her with the knife.
Den I'd kill your mother, I'd sic my llama on her,
Maim and torchure your brother, using an old black lawn chair.
I'd wrestle with your father, and then his pace I'd pave,
I'd grasp your lovely cat, and nuke him in the microwave.
I'd like to come to your house, and kill you and your family,
I hope you don't have any plans, next Wednesday's good for me...
Thexder.
[Written by The Sphyramid in computers class. An excellent ditty, featuring Rodent and Sphyramid on vocals, an impromptu keyboard bit by Milky, and the famous one-note guitar solo by The Finn.]
(Oh so funky beloved, we are gathered here today, to commemorate this man, yes that's right, we have a guitar player in our studio, not to mention some funky bass drums to commemorate his passing from the world of the living, to another, okay place.. a world where there is stuff, but most importantly we should not mourn his passage, because he is someplace better, babin' with the pope... and...)
NO!!
No, I'm not dead, my arms are gone,
My neck is broke, there's a bullet in my head.
I don't care if I look, like no name brand chopped liver,
My band it serves up death to order, and now we do deliver.
Wearing a black silk tux, my hair's got a brand new buzz,
But I ain't going to no party, I'm dressed up just because..
I'm going to my funeral, and man you ain't invited,
I'm riding in a big black limosine I'm gettin more and more excited.. YA!
They're playing hard rock in the car, playing hard rock in the home,
The priest is a reformed heavy metal singer, and hard rock to the bone.
They're putting my outta the car, they're putting my six feet under,
My hair's a mess, I'm lying face down in the grass.
Well I'm going to my funeral, man you ain't invited,
I'm gonna party all the way to hell, wouldn't you be excited?
I can feel the bugs, they come up from the grass,
The worms crawl into my ears, and the cockroaches up my ass,
That's okay I say that's cool, I'm on my way underground,
Soon to be in Satan's swimming pool, soon to be HELLBOUND!
[Written by The Finn during a songwriting session at Milky's. An excellent and deep song, played on a classic guitar and sung by The Finn.]
My saliva glands are huge
About the size of my fist
They're so damn big I could
Stick my hand in them up to my wrist
Chorus:
I hate my cat
I hate my cat
I.. Hate.. My.. Cat!
When I drool
It fills a pool
That's how goddamn big they are
Watch the spittle sparkle
On my lips
Having glands this big
'Tis the pits..
I'm a machine
I wish I had cash
We all sing together
We salivate!!!!
[Thought of by all moments before twas recorded. One striking keyboard chord and guitar strum.]
Yak!
[Ditto mania.]
Yak! Yak!
[Longer version, featuring Ainga and animal noises.]
Yak! Yak! Ainga! Ainga! Yak! Yak! Ainga! Ainga! Ainga! Yak! Moo. Bark?
[For radio play.]
YAKYAK!
[A pro-Babble song written by Milky during a practise. Sung by Milky and Rodent. Excellent music.]
Walking around this grey town, searching for my grey dreams,
Blending with a grey soceity, we are all the same it seems.
Chorus:
Being different is wonderful, being unique is my only goal,
And though I feel conformity's pull, turquoise is my soul.
Sure the crowds laugh at me, when I explain my love of yaks,
Superior they believe to be, but I'm laughing behind their backs.
The irrelevant should be sacred, there's no point in being a clone,
Avoid everything that acceptable, because us babblers have always known..
School, preparing you for the real world, a factory to make us the same,
Helping us by brainwashing us, to believe the truths they claim.
The strange just ain't acceptable, and the nonsense has to stop,
The bizarre should be encouraged, and a painful death for pop.
[Improvised by Milky and Rodent. Somewhat Spanish and alternating tempo guitar.]
So this guy asked me if I wanted to buy some,
But I wasn't too very, so I couldn't,
But then this other person who just decided that I couldn't,
And like, so I decided that I wasn't gonna
Cause they wanted to get my uncle's lost treasure (hou!),
So then I never but I could've but then there was other stuff,
So I decided that I'd hafta go to court,
And then there was other things happening and then
Then there was like court and stuff.
And like I had to testify, y'know, and they like said,
Like, who was the guy, and what did he uh.. look like
And I said uh there was something like a head or arms or legs,
And he was wearing uher... clothes? And he had some colour...
And he was doing some thing with some stuff, and y'know?
And he like says to the other guy, um, like, y'know..
And like I walked and there was this thing and then this guy
So the judge looks down and he says, 'You are sentenced to life, son.'
So like this other guy came and took me to the place
Where they have the stuff. And the food was, y'know.
And I was kinda scared that I was gonna, well, y'know,
And then they put me in a room with like other like, y'know,
And then I got scared cause there was none, but then,
They brought me some stuff so so so.. it was like y'know.
And then I got really, y'know, kinda. But then I decided that I
Wasn't gonna get like before..and then I umm.. thought I could maybe,
y'know, go to the people and they think they have the gun,
There um.. y'know, protectors, sir, y'know protecter, and so I
Said like to them 'Umm.. can you help me?', and they said like
Well, sortof, they didn't say really, and then I thought maybe they were
Y'know like not telling me the y'know, not false and then I figured that
Its just wasn't gonna be, y'know, fun. So I just y'know died.
Vague.. this song is vague...this song is vague...this song is vague!
Hou! Vague.....
Batman. Stop.
[Written and sung by Milky and Rodent during a practise. Tres catchy.]
St. Lawrence, Mississippi, Panama Canal,
They're big and they're blue and they're always wet.
Tides of the Atlantic, rolling into shore,
Morbid and disgusting and terribly wet.
Chorus:
Always wet...
Always wet...
Lake Ontario filled with goddamn smut,
We drink it like its lemonade, its much too wet.
The Red Sea ain't red, the Black Sea ain't black,
Most land isn't wet (and neither am I).
Pools are just pseudo ponds, peanut butter won't glow,
DOgs noses should be wet (and neither do I).
Czechoslovakia, Poland, Austria, Berlin, France,
Mongolia, Belgium, Greece, never play with fire.
[Written by Milky during a songwriting session. Trick title.]
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! My god, I love...
Beeftech! I'm just nuts about...
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! Sauce for my...
Beeftech! Potatoes with your...
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! Little bits of glass in my...
Beeftech! Bout a naked virgin on your...
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! Taste those yummy maggots in your...
Beeftech! Always drool all over my...
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! Hey, don't mess with my...
Beeftech! Beeftech! BEEFTECH! Ya!
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
Beeftech! My god, I love...
Beeftech! I'm just nuts about...
Beeftech! OoOOooOO...
[By Milky. As yet unperformed.]
This is an instrumental...
Listen to those instruments...
Hope you don't mind if I sing...
Oh those instruments...
Nice instrumental, isn't it?
Me too.
The End.
[Title by Rodent. Song improvised by Milky. Ultra quaint guitar.]
Roaming through the outback, of Austrailia,
In the northwest territory, I saw this kangaroo,
I saw him jump off a cliff, I said, "hey - that's pretty weird",
So I went and descended down the cliff, and went in the valley at the bottom,
I saw the kangaroo, and he was jumping,
Up against the fence, hurting his head,
I said "hey - what's wrong wrong with you guy? Are you psychotic or something?"
And he said, "Yeah! I happen to be,
A mentally unstable kangaroo."
I said, "That's neat! Can you do tricks?"
And he said "What do you think, fag?"
And I said, "Look, pal, don't mess with me.
I happen to be a knife weilding psycho."
He was pretty happy, I was pretty ecstatic,
I said, "hey - let's start a commune",
He said, "Look man. I value my freedom
More heartily than I value my life."
And I said "hey - I got chocolate pudding
In the trunk of my van, If I could talk you into it,
I might think about letting you live. You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"Yes!" he said. I offered him a peek into
My pink tonsil - it was REAL pink!
He looked pretty inticed, and I said,
"Hey - let's do it, let's do it!"
So we got in the van, got in the pudding,
Swam in it all day, we were there for hours.
It was so good we couldn't believe it, then he started eating the pudding,
So I drove him out to the Pacific Ocean, my Pacific Ocean,
Took him to the big dock, it felt really nice,
And then I got on his back, walking along, step by step,
Getting closer, to the edge, we saw the water, looming,
Right ahead of our face,
He said "hey - that looks pretty good",
So we decided, that we would,
Jump in! Jump, into the water, and drown!
It made a funky sound, like SPLASH! when we jumped in,
And we said "hey - this is good! We're starting to sink!"
And then he ran out of air and said, "Blehga!",
And I said, "ya - you're right!",
Bout now 50 feet under, my god, I started to scream!
Without air, in my lungs, oh god, too bad,
Cause I was dead.
[Written by Milky and Finn during a recording session. Lyrics improvised and sung by Rodent. A meaningless jazz song.]
When you wanna sneeze but you really can't,
When you're watchin TV an your dog starts to pant,
When a racoon gets stuck in your fireplace,
When you just get sick of the whole entire race.
My baby assploded,
Do you know what my ho did?
Well my baby she assploded,
I dint think she would but she sho did.
Well the stomach was real bloated,
With gasoline bitch was loaded,
Then the bitch she assploded,
And the whole damn church was revoted.
Well the call was pre-recoded,
It said my mom, she was floatin',
An she was somewhere in South Dakota,
Dead.
Wel down arown town somdosaboza bazadown andzatisbitch
Ran through the house buck naked.
Ahrow azo a guy dizaroo duzune dune,
Ah muthafuckin sonofabitch bit my dick off and I dint know what I could do,
So I just sat there bleedin like a bita.
Hun downsurroun down DOWN down surrond,
Oh tasez Jackson Brown shez downtown she ranaround with anotha man,
So I shot the bitch.
Bitch.
Hum dazrone howzazounzounzoun zounsafoun,
How dazim umahzoun zoun zum da a hi LAAAAAAAAAA,
Humaz donza rounza sabsa...
[By Milky during a songwriting session. A quaint rap song.]
I was molesting my face and eating lotza sushi
I ran in a race and I pulled out an uzi
I saw a fucking cow sitting on a fucking fence
Although I knew not how I asked the cow to dance
We tangoed to the left, we tangoed to the right
We tangoed tangoed tangoed like a mango in the night
We went back to my crib for some tacos and a judge
I put on a bib and the stove wouldn't budge
The cow caught fire and started to sing
I began to prespire as I heard the doorbell ring
I danced to the doorstep of my left-most porch
Standing their naked was a nazi with a torch
I invited him in without hesistation
We did some swimming then my face went on vacation
It cruised through Peru and it sailed through France
It met a funky cow and killed it with a lance
My emu began to whimper as it stared up at the sun
I figured it'd be simpler if I explained about parity none
I glanced to my south to check for Russian spies
Then I opened up my mouth and ate both my eyes
I turned to my face and said with utter glee
"Face listen as I tell ya about a thing called parity"
My face stood solemn like a black silver gun
And grinned like a golem as I explained parity none.
What the hell is parity?
[A very quick thrashish song written by Milky. Milky on vocals, Finn on guitar, Rodent on drums.]
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
My mouth's so fucking full of teeth!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
It's like a fucking Christmas wreath!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
The world's so obsessed with teeth!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
I'm just glad my name's not Keith!
Teeth!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
What's so fucking great about teeth!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
The streets have sewers underneath!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
There's some sort of conspiracy with teeth!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
My mouth to you I bequeath!
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
Why am I cursed with teeth?
Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! Teeth!
I hate them to deeth!
Teeth!
[By Milky long ago. As yet unperformed.]
Le Chorus:
Zany francaise and all that jazz
Zany francaise etc, etc, etc.
Zany francaise and so on and so on
Rice for sale but who wants it, siratinly not the sulf-blue rose,
Dandy to write on your splein, the south is singin' a song and it goes...(ch)
Rick, pass me your face, would I be an embryo if I stripped?
No diamonds in hell don't bother looking, space and Mr. Christie snipped.
Josh is a stupid name, global is a stupid word,
Scrabble is a stupid game, pi's the stupidest thing I ever heard. (ch)
Triangles so bizarre, but then again so is food,
Stand if you feel like breaking, but relax if y'ain't in the mood.
Because my bones are made of ice, and Hitler killed a lot of Jews,
Freedom is what makes me weep, why is aluminum in the news? (ch)
And when we listen to the 'keyboard', does it rhyme with the word 'puke'?
I bet it doesn't but neither, does the word archbishop.
Do turkeys sell women, if so can I get a deal?
This is one hell of a love song.. no wood and water aren't a meal. (ch)
Pet checkerboards should be kept, and don't throw lice away,
The point of life is to save bananas, from being led into the fray...
Wild Embryos... they can't be tamed, they're wild to be born,
I don't like the Amiga's name, it makes my widow mourn. (ch)
Fish swim like knives, running through my brain,
How heavy are your teeth? Trust me, life's cool when you're insane.
Rumours about M16's.. ya, what's so French about Quebec?
I don't see any trees, good luck with poison!
Maximillian harvesting the templates, hates every slab of beef he knows,
Wishes upon a steep hopes for a lugger, eats bear puddings and it shows..
[By Rodent, long ago. As yet unperformed.]
Flabergasted melancoly, really ain't my style,
Peanut butter crackerjacks, sure don't make me smile.
Donut fluff is funky, if you're residential spam,
Lemme exercise my tongue, in your undergarments mam.
Special sorta papermate, an' thumbtack apple pie,
Bob Hope's comedy specials, I sure hope this will rhyme.
If E.T. is a whirly-gig, and I can't radio chack,
I'll peanut butter your mother, and big fly-skimmey your dad.
Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!, up the crackety grove,
The Hoop-la bingo grandmas went, that's where Snoopy drove.
Ripples on my nasal spot, binders flap on the moon,
Toasters take to the rooftops, credit cards are crappy food.
I kill a fur coat instantly, to make a dapper car,
Come to me Mr. Santa Claus, I'll cut you down with a rapid fire machine gun!
[By Rodent long ago. Undone.]
If you have a car, or a wife, or a dog,
.. Whip it in the void.
If you have a radio, or an uncle, or an aunt,
.. Whip em in the void.
If you're bored or lonely, or you're sad, or happy,
.. Hop on into the void.
If you're sick and old, or an Indian, or a rapist,
.. Eat peanut butter in the void.
Take a box of nails, or a gun, or a kid, and
.. Whip it in the void.
If you fight with your mom, and you hate her, and she's a bitch,
.. Whip her into the void.
If your brother's a terrorist, or a banker, or a pervert,
.. Just whip him into the void.
If the cattle are grazing, or a duck is dead, or a cow,
.. Just whip it into the void.
If you can't pay your bills, or your mortgage, or insurance,
.. Whip your friends into the void.
If the taxes are high, or the toaster won't work,
.. Whip them into the void.
If a picture paints 1000 words,
.. Just whip it into the void.
If a whale is beached, or a block of wood floats,
.. Throw everything into the void.
It's all in the void and it won't come back cause
It can't, so I won't, now Push Off!
[By Rodent. Sung by Rodent and Milky. Unique music.]
I'm drinkin two percent, I'm drinkin half n half,
I'm drinkin all that stuff, from the mother of a calf,
I'll drink lemonade, I'll drink some fresh iced tea,
I'd even drink salty water from the Baltic Sea.
Chorus:
But keep that powdered milk away from my mug,
Give me some sulfuric acid and I'll chug chug chug,
But keep that powdered milk away from my mug,
Give me some sulfuric acid and I'll chug chug chug..
All white n flaky, just add some water,
The real stuff's so much better, why the hell would ya bother?
Fake cow juice in a can, what a goddam sin,
How could this happen, what kind of worls are we in?
Milk...Powder...Water...Death...Knife...Cabbage...Laser...Sin...
Beef... City... Ainga... Moo... Yeah?... Oh c'mon... Reality...
Mutant... Laser... Sin... Kill... Yellow... Freddy... Toast...
(c) 1990 Wild Embryos