YIP Index

The World Explodes

The Finn:

I sat in a dark room. A television screen flickered on and showed cows in erotic poses. I was getting hard. I was rather disturbed to find myself naked, then I said "Why?" My erection reached for the sky like a cannabal. A man with a white head came up to me and offered me an axe. "Plat?" I inquired methodically. "Yes." he stated. I ripped the axe from his grasp and brought it down up the stone alter which sat before me. It clanged off and flew away into the distance. A huge harpsicord appeared before me. I reached up from my bed to touch it. I felt it's silky texture, and the world exploded.

By Singularity:

So I was sitting in the washroom. And I was doing my usual 5:30 business *I don't have any problems with being "regular"* , when it came to me: Why not plot to overthrow the common psyche of the universe? Why not build the proverbial moustrap that broke the camel's back? So, like - it went like this, see, and fer shure! But I digress, I am regressing - so back to the story. I was sitting on the throne, as it would soon become - I was plotting my ascension to omniscience, you see... Not hard to do - we can all dream, right? But I just knew, I just KNEW, (as I passed another bowel, releasing not only my rectal cavity of an oblong peice of excretia, but my mind of another restrictive bond of common sense), that I was destined for greatness, and that soon, the world's citizenry would throw down their arms, bow their heads, rend their clothes, fill their hair with ashes and prostrate themselves before me. I was the coming man, the one they would be and had be en waiting for for so long - not Jesus, me. Jesus was a hack who just happened to get a good reputation by being the son of a so-called MAJOR DIETY. Me? My father's a Cheif Economist, and that's close enough to God for me, so there we go! I'm the one you've all been waiting for. And you know what? When I make the final ascension, none of you are going to appreciate it for too long because I've been thinking about this for the last 10 seconds, and I'm just going to blow up the world! Nyah!

By Xenomorph:

I am standing in a field a blowing wheat, the warm noon day sun beating at my back, the wind rustling my hair. Above me, I see the bluest of skies, the whitest of clouds billowing through the lazy air. The wheat flows and flows, off into the distance beyond the horizon. The sounds of birds singing their love songs echo from all around.

Night comes, and the blue is taken by the black, the sun by the moon, the clouds by the stars. The stars spread out across the blackness, deep and inviting in their light. The winds are quiet, and the wheat stands tall and proud in it's golden habitat. My head moves back and forth, but all I see is the field, for miles and miles.

the days cycle, blue to black to blue again, over and over. I do not move, as I am cpatured by the sheer beauty of this world, the smell of the fresh air, the feel of the ripe wheat brushing at my skin, the taste of freedom on my lips.

then the world explodes.

By Bert:

The button was big and red (my bellybutton, that is). That, however, has nothing to do with the problem that Spain was having at that very moment. The heat, the pollution, the fluff... I needed a drink. I pressed the red button (the other one). The world exploded.

By Yo-man:

There once was a guy named Bob. He actually hated Doritos with a vengeance, so when they used his name to advertise this product, he was pissed. Actually, they described Bob pretty well, except for the thing about eating Doritos. He was really pissed. So he decided to go around and kill all the people who ate Doritos in public. Especially those who offered him some, because he was Bob. He started to kill these people when he found something out. It would be much easier to just blow the whole damn world up. That way, nobody could make Doritos anymore. So, this was Bob's new purpose, to blow up the world. Luckily, Bob was a Yoriental, so he went and got a Total Conversion bomb, and blew up the world. But then God appeared and said "Fooled you!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!". God was very happy and laughed his head off (he put it back on with some crazy glue a bit later, so that was okay...). He was laughing because everything in space were actually gigantic Doritos. Yep, stars, quasars, planets, all matter and energy were actually Doritos. Bob then killed himself with a gun, made out of Doritos , that shot Dorito bullets into his Dorito skull. God went home to his Dorito house in heaven, where he ate lots and lots of Doritos, and he lived happily ever after, eating Doritos.

So what? Glack and the Smiggly Puffs were Doritos also, I just didn't name them...

By Gambit:

One day I was phoning around to all the BBS's that I usually phone When BY Mistake I phoned Babble! Oh-no I thought.....NOW I'm gonna hafta post 5 messages......So as I was grudgingly posting OUR SysOp Lord Milketh entered chat mode, said "moo." and exited This didn't bug me too much the first time.....but then he started doing it OVER and OVER and OVER until I just about went absoLUTly mad......so I pressed the "Chat with Milky command"......he entered about 5 min. later and said "Yes???".....and claimed that was feeling uncreative and Bored......He said there was No more original or GOOD babble anymore...... Our discussion came to a conclusion with Milky feeling quite depresed and as he was exiting he said "do me a favor and press the 'Dumb Command of the day' key" So I did. And the World exploded

I hate when he does that......

By Fido:

I'll make this short and sweet. I was walking, because I don't have a car or a plane or a train or an automobile or a boat or a horse or a cow or a fish or a spaceship or a cat or a rock or a pogo-stick or a dead man or some belly button lint.........Shit I don't have anything!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BTW then I blew up the world.

By Metaphor:

So there I was, a fly, minding my own business. I go in through an open door, and everyone greets me with, "Buzz off". I decide not to, a keep buzzing around. I see lots of colourful lights, and everyone is gathered around some table. "Nice meeting place," I tell myself. All of a sudden, a large hand comes crashing down near me. Due to my superior reflexes, I dodge the flow without so much as a scratch. Then another blow, then another, and another. Whoosh! I notice that I'm getting tired now, so I look for somewhere to land where I could rest a while. I large red blinking light attracts my attention, so I decide to fly over and land there. And then it comes, the large hand! Squash! That was the last sound I ever heard. Unfortunately, I was unable to notice that the blinking button I was resting on said: Nuclear Bomb Launch. Well, I guess the Russians will get a bang out of this one! Yet (since I'm dead), I failed to notice that the world explodes.

By Flyboy:

It was a dark and stormy night, when the people of Tronna suddenly changed their collective minds. All the young children-folk of the land were busy indulging in their favourite music -- something called "Wrap". This music allowed the children to partake in their other passtime -- shopping, since the main thrust of the music was to remove all their clothes (becoming Un-Wrapped) and then put the clothes all back on again. They needed lots of clothes. But a sinister force was in the air. The children-folk suddenly dropped their "Wrap" music and started to listen to what their parents were listening to -- LVBeethoven. This caused a singularity in that opposites can not exist together in the same time and space, and so the world exploded.

By Mam'zelle Hepzibah:

The ex-secret agent and the ex-private eye staggered out of the pub together.

"Wish way neow?" whined Mike Hammered.

"Thish way" said James Bombed, "I know anuvver pub...hic... aroun' the... over there, anyway".

"Too Bad about Hugo Drax jr. gettin' 'way wiff all that plutominimum," slurred Mikey.

Thass plutomomiminimum" said Bombed, "Wunner whut he wuz gonna do wiff it all"

"Make Paper weights?" suggested Mike, "That stuff wuz heavy".

"Also ver' radioactive," stated Bombed in his authoritative way.

"Zat so?" Hammered brushed his hand through his hair, and looked at the pile that came loose and floated to the ground, "I thought it tasted funny".

"Too mush ta make a bomb wif?"

"Mush too mush fer a bomb," said Bombed thoughtfully, "why he could've made a whole phalanx of bombs... but he wouldn't do that, I wooden led him"

"Yeah! neever would I," screamed Hammered as he fell off the sidewalk in front of a speeding truck.

Then the world exploded.

By Corn Syrup:

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'hey why aren't you in school Stace?' 'I couldn't stop thinking about you' 'oh ya, me either...' 'I want you to go all the way with me' 'you do... I want to, I really do, but I'm afraid something really bad might happen' 'oh please... don't worry'

She lead me down the path, into the forest... I had never seen this part of the forest.. it opened up to a big grassy field. She layed down, and I sat down beside.

'You know I love you, don't you' She said. 'Ofcourse I do....' 'You know I think of you all the time...'

She started to undress, my pud was in full swing now..

She says to me 'I know we've never done THIS before, but I'm sure it'l be fun'

Anyhow, she was really wet now... we did have a little foreplay... but we were both horny.... the only thing that stopped me, was the fact that I thought something really bad was gonna happen...

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Anyhow, she started rubbing up and down my leg... she was giggling...

I was really enjoying it... I started to fondle her melons, she was only eleven, so there wasn't much there, before I knew it, she was on all fours, stripped naked, and the world blew up

----
the
end
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Once there were Dragons. Not the little dragons of fairy tales, but real Dragons, who roamed throughout their world, which was the cosmos. There were small (to the Dragons point of view) points of warmth, near which the Dragons would lay their eggs. The gestation time was long, but the dragons didn't care; they would just lay their clutches of eggs, and continue along on their endless journey.

In one clutch of eggs, one of them became infected. A small colony of parasites flourished there for a time. Then the egg hatched.

From the point of view of the parasites, there was no warning.

Their world simply exploded, destroying them without a trace, except for some small marks and artifacts left on a still-born egg.

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