Appendix A - YIP Members and BBSes (with alternate names).
Appendix B - Introduction to Babble.
Appendix C - Old Babbler's Handbook.
Appendix E - What It Takes To Be a YIP Member.
Appendix E - The Babbler's Handbook.
Appendix F - What It Takes To Be a YIP Member, 94.
Appendix G - YIP BBSes, At One Time Or Another.
Ending Bit - I jes didn't want it to end so abruptly.
In my obsession for getting a complete history, I was led to interviewing every YIP member I could get a hold of (about 20). I managed to track down the numbers for and call every YIP and ex-YIP board which still exists, although this was often not useful. For example, when asked for any information about YIP he could offer, Vindicator of The Junction helpfully replied "Yip sucks." On the other hand, special thanks are due to Xenomorph, Finn, Persephone and STiK, who offered more detailed critiques and suggestions. Much of this information is from memories and old message file backups of Babble BBS.
Some terms may require clarification, or at least an under- standing of the (sometimes biased) sense in which they are used. A PYROTO is a type of board which combines the regular message system of a BBS with an online game setting (a magical mountain), and has no files. A PIR8 is one who trades copyrighted software. A PD USER is one against this practice. An "ADULT" USER is one who BBSes in order to exchange smalltalk, flirt and discuss sex. Morons come from all three user types, though the first two genres are capable of producing GOOD USERS (here considered to be those who post funny and interesting messages) as well. A YIP MEMBER is a user who is in the unusual stage which lies between joining and quitting YIP. Terms such as "YIPish", "YIP-like", "YIP associate" and "YIPism" refer to the quality of showing the same characteristics as YIP members.
There are still millions of projects to be accomplished with regards to YIP history. Each board could easily support its own history file if data still exists. Someone should track down the completely baffling origins of the concept of pogo-sticking llamas, found at seemingly random places in YIP literature by members who have never heard of one another. YIP's love affair with Pyroto Mountains could be examined. Member profiles would also prove very interesting. If anyone wants to try these, I'll give them any help I can, and really like them.
In this history file, I have not mentioned when or why each member joined and quit, when people left BBSland for grayer pastures, when members became friends and why, who had the same footwear and haircut, and such information. Most historians, when explaining such an omission, state that "there just wasn't enough space", as though they only have so much paper. I will be a big man and admit that I simply thought that this information was less than crucial. Sorry.
For ease of reading, the most common name of a member or board may be used even when that member/board is not employing that name. A table of complete (as as complete as possible) member/board names can be found in Appendix A.
Nov 21. End of Neo-Babylonian Empire. (539 BC)
Oct 10. Plastic Brain Carrier designates the concept of (1986 AD) creative nonsense as Babble. Babble writing begins. Collections of Babble comics and stories called Weekend Packages are produced.
Feb 6. Babble: An Introduction (Appendix B) written by Milky (1990 AD) Puppy and The Finn. Babble textfiles begin.
Mar 10. YIP (Y'know Inc. Productions) invented by Milky Puppy and The Finn as they sit in their Grade 11 chemistry class, by the legendary conversation:
F: How about Y'know Productions, since we like the word
y'know?
MP: Alright, but we'll add an I, so it can be YIP.
F: Bitchin'!
It is later decided that the I stands for "Inc." - NOT incorporated or international. It is also a capital I. YIP is intended to be a replacement for Milky's Jeff/Tandy and Finn's Death Unlimited, which are the companies through which each produces babble. Various non-BBSing members are added.
Mar 11-20. Golden Rodent joins, then leaves to form SFA (Spunky Fraternization Authorities). This process begins when GR suggests he become President of YIP. When other members inform him that they don't want a president, he suggests that he be vice-president. When this is not accepted, he quits. Three one-page, pencil written YIP Bulletins are produced.
Mar 21. YIP and SFA merge to form YIP/SFA and agree to worry only about BBSing members.
Mar 25. Golden Rodent puts up the first YIP/SFA bbs, called The Babylonian Waterslide. Running on the extremely primitive Michtron BBS, this board contains messages and a few pir8 Atari warez.
Mar 29. The Finn puts up the second YIP/SFA bbs and titles it Metro Holografix, name taken from William Gibson. Metro runs on Telegard and serves up a decent batch of IBM pir8 warez. Metro Holografix becomes the centre of YIP voting, where decisions concerning YIP are made semi-democratically. Metro brings the world such YIP personalities as Kamikaze, Creeping Face, King Hercules, Death Warden and El Del, as well as the llama, duck and cow cults.
Apr 9. Milky Puppy puts up the third YIP/SFA bbs and gives it the simple name Babble BBS. Babble also employs Michtron but features no warez whatsoever. In this stage, Babble brings YIP such fine members as Nitro, Insanity, Treebeard, Maelstrom, Mam'zelle Hepzibah, Lamont Cranston, Baby Face, Wild Wolverine, Greymalkin and Grey Pilgrim.
Apr 13. Golden Rodent writes the first version of the Babbler's Handbook (see Appendix C), which contains both useful babble terms and made up funny-sounding things.
Apr 15. Babylonian Waterslide becomes SpaceBar BBS. SpaceBar switches to Telegard and houses pir8 warez for both the ST and the IBM. SpaceBar is the place of origin of such YIP folk as Laser Beetle, Trail Blazer, DragonLord and Corn Syrup.
Apr 22. YIP's old policy regarding membership (ie. A YIP member is any user who phones more than one YIP BBS) is replaced by the system of voting in members. The policy by which any YIP sysop may make his board a YIP BBS without a vote, and any sysop of a YIP board may become a user without a vote is adopted.
Apr 30. First ZIP of YIP Textfiles, called AARDVARK, is circulated and is met with minimal interest. Weekly themes begin on Metro, Babble and sometimes SpaceBar.
May 20. The Pinnacle Club joins, becoming fourth YIP/SFA member and the first BBS to join. TPC is run by Master Spelunker using Sapphire and features PD warez. Large scale recruitment of YIP members from TPC occurs gradually, eventually bringing Master Spelunker, Merv, Totenbuch Christ, Rubanicas, Maud'dib, Nightshade, Tarquin and Frets.
May 28. SFA dropped. YIP/SFA becomes simply YIP. The world rejoices.
June 1. Pan Transit joins as the fifth YIP bbs. Pan Transit is sysoped by Smarasderagd, runs on Midgard and has a few PD files. Pan Transit brings YIP members such as Smarasderagd, Turin Turambar, Polish Scytheman, Dronon Brassmane and, much later, Marla Shapiro.
June 20. CyberSquid, running first Infinity and then its own BBS software, joins as the sixth YIP bbs. CyberSquid is sysoped by Ron Sharp and is quite PD. YIP members who begin their careers on CyberSquid include Ren, Flyboy, Kwirk, Zone, Fletchy and Xenomorph.
July 1. Insane Underground, an insanely pir8 and un-YIPish board, running first Turbo BBS and later Telegard, joins as seventh YIP bbs. The sysop is The Boss Man.
July 3. Second ZIP of YIP textfiles, called ZYGOTE on PD boards and ORGASM on pir8 boards (to encourage downloading), is distributed and basically ignored. At this time, YIP has perhaps 20 members.
July 20. YIPnet begins between SpaceBar and Metro HoloGraphix. In its years of operation, YIPnet serves to bind together most IBM YIP bbses as well as being good.
July 22. Babble switches from Michtron to Express and becomes very popular after ridding itself of religious debates. Babble under Express brings to YIP such personages as The Gaunt Man, Satin Teddy, Tear Jacob, Highway Robber, Topeka, Neddy, Fido, Gambit, Strandman, Persephone, Sponge Monkey, Melted Lint, Thanatos Jones, Czech and The Immolated Messiah. Babble also serves as the common BBS for users from Metro and Pan Transit.
Aug 20. In Vancouver, Plastic Brain Carrier sets up Babble West as the eighth YIP bbs and first YIP bbs outside the 416 area code. Babble West runs Express and has no files. The only YIP member Babble West produces is Dominus Exmons, who the rest of YIP never hears of.
Aug 25. Full-fledged democracy begins on Metro HoloGrafix. Every YIP member is allowed a vote on each poll and to put up new polls. This is not full democracy because Metro is long- distance for many YIP members, and others can't be bothered to call simply in order to vote.
Aug 30. Phoenix BBS joins YIP becoming the ninth YIP bbs. The sysop's alias is Phoenix, which reflects the pathetic nature of this Atari pir8 board. Enthusiastic YIP members attempt to convert the board, but find that it is difficult to save a badly run board.
Summer/89. I hate to sound cliche or sentimental, but damn it, a golden age of YIP writing begins. Stories by Finn, Milky and Golden Rodent begin to boldly go beyond pure babble. Less babblish YIP members such as Maelstrom and DragonLord add more absurdity to their writing. Newer members such as Totenbuch and Turin Turambar offer examples of more mature writing. A thriving story trade on TPC, Metro and Pan Transit encourages a lot of great stories, poems, plays and other textfiles. The Finn becomes the guardian of all YIP textfiles.
Sept 20. Hypothetical Creation created as the tenth YIP bbs and second bbs out of the 416 area code (in Waterloo). It is run by Tear Jacob as a quite YIPish message-only system, but lack of a BBSing community in the area dooms it to extinction.
Sept 28. The IBM pir8 board The Junction Triangle becomes 11th YIP bbs, the sysop Vindicator agreeing only in the hopes of increased advertising. Junction Triangle is yet another very unYIPish board, recruited just for the sake of numbers. At this time, YIP has about 40 members, though many are inactive or normal.
Sept 30. SpaceBar becomes second voting centre, symbolizing the end of votes filtering from Metro to the rest of YIPdom.
Oct 1. Creeping Face sets up Veil of Deception as the 12th YIP bbs, running Telegard. Also joins YIPnet and becomes third polling station. VoD begins as a pir8 BBS and gradually becomes more and more YIPish.
Nov 15. QEW and Erlenstar Mountain voted in simultaneously as 13th and 14th YIP bbses. QEW is another generic IBM pir8 board, run by Ollie. Erlenstar is the first YIP Pyroto and is run by Wayfarer. This board is eventually taken over by YIP members. Erlenstar brings YIP the user Flash, who joins YIP mainly in order to strengthen his alliance with the unofficial YIP faction on Erlenstar.
Nov 20. Maud'dib's Quintessential Mountain becomes 15th YIP bbs and second YIP Pyroto. Days later, Quint crashes, becoming the first ex-YIP bbs.
Fall/89. Weekly meetings between YIP members from Pickering, Toronto and Mississauga become common, at YIP shrines such as Speaker's Corner, the Library Pub and Finn's house, further binding the group together.
Nov 23. The Lunatic Fringe, vaguely sysoped by Sunder and running Telegard, joins as 16th YIP bbs and becomes a successful centre of YIPness. Also joins YIPnet, later becomes fourth voting station. Over the years, The Fringe brings YIP members including Farside, Pennywise and LORD STiK.
Nov 30. QEW becomes Warez World. Warez World voted to be not a YIP bbs. The first example of YIP becoming at all discriminating.
Dec 10. Phoenix BBS changes its name to Alcatraz and becomes even more pir8, proving that YIP hasn't become all that discriminating.
Dec 12. Veil of Deception becomes The Drifting Continent. The Drifting Continent has now lost all traces of pir8cy and is a hardcore babble board focussed on the spleen. By this time, Metro Holografix has also ceased to be a pir8 board, reflecting YIP's overall shift from piracy towards babble.
Dec 20. Just before a poll passes Milquetoast's babblish Telegard board Cochroach Haven into YIP, Milquetoast is forced to take his board down, though he continues to be an active member on Metro and Drifting Continent for several more months.
Dec 23. The Necromancer revives his former BBS The Realm of Death, which is made the 17th YIP member board and joins YIPnet.
Dec/ 89. Saliva Mountain joins as Pyroto-wing of Metro HoloGraphix. Linoleum Mountain added as Pyroto-wing of SpaceBar. Suicidal Slope becomes Pyroto-wing of Drifting Continent. All these Pyroto wings are basically unsuccessful.
* 1991 *
Jan 5. Insane Underground becomes Empire City. Empire City has no desire to be a YIP bbs. First example of a board leaving YIP voluntarily.
Jan 20. Stellar System created as 18th YIP bbs and becomes home of the rival duck and llama cults. This IBM pir8 board is run by Death Warden, who is much more interesting than his alias implies. Stellar System is a great YIP board and its sysop works busily on programming promising YIP software. Stellar System brings into YIP its co-sysops, Viral Infector and N....(?).
Jan 24. First edition of this history file produced by Milky Puppy (who idiotically omits years, causing many problems for later historians).
Winter/90. Newer members such as Xenomorph, Strandman, Gambit, Death Warden, Sponge Monkey and LORD STiK become prominent. The Pinnacle Club has been the recruiting place for new members such as The Necromancer, Severina Magdalene, Hellbastard, Foldor, Asphalt Bastard and La Dupe. Baker's in Mississauga becomes a YIP shrine for Mississaugan YIP members.
Feb 4. Third YIP ZIP, called MOO in order to reflect a newly emerging fascination with cows, is circulated. Met with enthusiasm by YIP members and the usual response from everyone else.
Feb 10-15. SpaceBar quits YIPnet due to modem problems. SpaceBar becomes the far more babble oriented and non-pir8 Totally Oblong Monoliths.
Mar 20. Laser Beetle informs the users of Babble that he is moving to Barrie in order to set up a YIP board called Babble North, but does not report on his progress in his annual calls to Babble. It is assumed that this was unsuccessful.
Apr 10. Totally Oblong Monoliths goes down, and its more warezy replacement not voted to be a YIP member. By this time, Golden Rodent has lost interest in BBSing.
May 12-19. Rubanicas, intending to retire from calling BBSes, temporarily sets up an Apple BBS called Tapioca Nightmares, which is intended to become a YIP board until technical difficulties prevent its grand unveiling. Rubanicas gives up BBSing shortly afterwards.
May 23. The Drifting Continent sinks and stays down permanently.
June 6. Xenomorph writes the famous and controversial textfile What It Takes to be a YIP Member (Appendix D). This file offers good reading but a fairly narrow (and quickly outdated) definition of YIPism.
July 10. Babble West goes down.
July 12. Sponge Monkey, Milky Puppy, Xenomorph and STiK found the 91 and Beyond Posse, a sub-group of YIP dedicated to "the mockery of anything that needs mocking." The group's first victim is The Wall BBS: home of bowling, ...ROCK!, T2 and dryzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. This style of humour remains popular within YIP in the form of such phrases as "I've got to take a massive leak." This group begins the YIP tradition of raiding/revitalizing less YIP-like boards.
Aug 5. Stellar System goes down, after Death Warden receives a warning call from the RCMP. Death Warden stops BBSing shortly thereafter.
Sep 1. Long-time YIP member Nitro sets up Gazouillement Mountain Pyroto, which becomes the 19th board to bear the YIP name. Gaz attracts many of the active YIP members at this stage.
Sept 20. Corn Syrup puts up the 20th YIP BBS, which is a Pyroto whose name changes every day. (Commonly referred to as The Tower.)
Fall/91. Roughly monthly parties begin occuring at Strandman's house, attended by many YIP members. These lead to the YIP membership of Bartender, Journeyman and The Beast, who are personal friends of Strandman and sometimes BBSers. None are ever enthusiastic members.
Sept 23. Based on the YIP rule that any YIP member who is a sysop can have his BBS made a YIP BBS, a user named Cthulu has his board R'lyeh join as the 21th YIP board. It is not realized until months later that the Cthulu in charge of R'lyeh and the YIP member Cthulu on Metro Holografix are different people - and that the sysop of R'lyeh is an idiot.
Sept 29. Using the excuse of a change of management at Alcatraz (when Phoenix is jailed) Alcatraz is voted out of YIP. Few users at Alcatraz pause downloading long enough to notice.
Oct 1. Corn Syrup's nameless Pyroto goes down. At this point, YIP has approximately 14 member BBSes and over 75 members.
Oct 8. The first issue of YIP Magazine is published and circulated among the schools and workplaces of various YIP members. This magazine is produced through the efforts of creator Corn Syrup, editors Milky Puppy, The Finn and Xenomorph and contributors Persephone, Golden Rodent and Totenbuch Christ. The 100 copies produced go over very well.
Oct 13. Sponge Monkey sets up an Express BBS known as Mink Overtures, which soon becomes the 22nd YIP BBS. Mink Overtures and its replacement, Bellogausia, bring temporarily to YIP such users as Neon Iguana, Rubberbandman and The Love God. Bellogausia becomes a voting centre.
Oct 25. The old Babbler's Handbook is revised by Milky Puppy and The Finn, who take out the unused terms and add all the new language of babble, including many terms from the Totenbuch dictionary. The new Handbook is a whopping success, going platinum everywhere in two days (Appendix D).
Oct 26. Asphalt Bastard sets up a new Telegard BBS called Purgatory, which eventually becomes a quite YIP-like BBS. Purgatory becomes Fetus Jesus in January, and joins as the 23rd YIP BBS and a polling station shortly afterwards.
Fall/91. The Fringe is gradually converted to full YIPness, and due to Sunder's disinterest in the board, is run very gleefully by hardcore YIP members such as Milky, Finn, Totenbuch and The Necromancer. Also in this period, Brainiac (later Ethereal Lethargy) appears and makes himself very unpopular with most YIP members.
Nov/91. Totenbuch, The Necromancer and Foldor invent the philosophy of Neo-Ostrogothism, which is based in mockery. Totenbuch begins The Books of Neo-Ostrogothism and The Finn also becomes involved. The Realm of Death becomes The Neo- Ostrogothic Emporium. Arguments regarding who thought up which elements of Neo-Ostrogothism and what Neo-Ostrogothism involves cause quarrels between various Neo-Ostrogoths.
Nov 7. 120 copies of the second issue of YIP Magazine are released to rave reviews. The magazine begins to build up a decent following. YIP members such as Maelstrom, Snigglefritz and DragonLord join in contributing.
Dec 19. Issue 3 of YIP is released. The old staff are joined by STiK, and the crowd goes wild.
(The next year and a half are a bit of a dark age as far as our records and memories are concerned, but dates have been reconstructed/guessed at as accurately as possible. Any additional information is welcome.)
* 1992 *
Jan 5. YIPnet, now only between Metro and the Fringe, is abandoned due to technical difficulties.
Jan 20. Issue 4 of YIP Magazine (the now scarce Q issue) is released and is as popular as always.
Jan 27. Metro Holographix goes down so that The Finn can program a BBS called Pi. When Pi is unsuccessful, Metro does not go back up. YIP voting is moved to Babble, where it is used considerably less.
Feb 3. Following the failure of YIP members to contribute to Totenbuch Christ's Encyclopedia of Babble, a mass exodus of YIP members begins. Blaming his temporary lack of originality on the group and complaining about the lack of elitism in member selection, Totenbuch Christ becomes the second member (after Hellbastard) ever to quit YIP. Totenbuch then proceeds to convince others to do likewise, convinced that YIP is doomed. This anti- YIPness then spreads to the rest of TPC, beginning with Totenbuch's personal friends.
Feb 4- Asphalt Bastard leaves YIP, complaining about its elitist Feb 6. nature. Fetus Jesus ceases to be a YIP BBS. Ethereal Lethargy, at this point a very controversial candidate for YIP membership, withdraws boths his and his board Electric Monk's applications for YIP membership. Similarly, an unsuccessful candidate for YIP membership named Morgan Raven's Child now turns strongly against the group. La Dupe quits but then rejoins the following day, though no-one really seems to care. Sponge Monkey, who had apparently pledged to go along with the defectors, stays in YIP and becomes hated by those who quit.
Feb 7-9. Strandman quits, complaining about YIP's fondness for mockery. Other TPC members, such as Inigo, who had previously been pro- YIP or neutral, become anti-YIP. Wayfarer, Frets and Master Spelunker also leave YIP, not out of dislike but because they do not consider themselves real YIP members. From this point on, TPC is completely consumed by very hostile YIP debates.
Feb 17. At an emergency meeting of pro-YIP forces including The Finn, Milky Puppy, Xenomorph, Persephone, Highway Robber and Sponge Monkey, it is decided that reform within YIP is needed. It is decided to pursue a more elitist course, by reviewing the YIP member list and making sure all YIP members a) want to be YIP members and b) deserve to be YIP members. In the ensuing weeks, this process cuts the member list by more than half to 33 real members.
Feb 19. Highway Robber quits.
Feb 21. On Fetus Jesus, a group led by an unsuccessful YIP candidate named Elvis the Despot declares itself anti-YIP (elitism) and calls itself PIY.
Feb 25. Votes pass on Babble to expel not-so-YIPish YIP members Pennywise and Satin Teddy, although both are active and have expressed no desire to quit. Both remain pro-YIP in spite of this treatment.
Mar 10. Following the mass exodus of YIP members, TPC is voted out of YIP by a large following of anti-YIP users on TPC. This group is composed of people who dislike YIP for widely different reasons. Some YIP members leave the board, others stay and avoid the subject. From this point on, member recruiting virtually ends.
Mar 12. Issue 5 of YIP is released. This is the last issue to feature any (non-Greek) contribution from Totenbuch Christ, though the old contributors are now joined by Corn Syrup and Plastic Brain Carrier.
Mar 18. Xenomorph sets up The Toast Exchange. The 24th YIP BBS runs Sapphire and serves the needs of many a YIP Member. Toast gradually becomes the most widely used YIP BBS, and brings to YIP DeadPony.
Apr 3. Mam'zelle Hepzibah quits YIP after a conflict regarding her sysop status on Babble. Kwirk quits to show solidarity. These quittings remove the possibility of Mam'zelle's BBS, The Trapline, or Kwirk's BBS, The Group of Seven, joining YIP.
Apr 11. Garth, a long-time Babble user, eagerly campaigns to have his BBS, Celtic Stones, made a YIP BBS, but his users are opposed to the idea and to YIP members in general.
Apr 20. YIP Magazine releases its 6th issue. Maud'dib now joins in the fun. This issue goes over very well - the magazine has remained popular even as everything else falls apart.
May 25. Issue 7 of YIP is published. This issue features the talents of Turin Turambar and Satin Teddy as well as regulars.
Aug 5. Issue 8 of YIP comes forth. The only newcomer this issue is Latheus. By now, finding publishable stories and comics is becoming a real challenge for the editors, due to a big slowdown in contributions and the end of the story trade on TPC and Pan Transit.
Sept 12. After stumbling on a pathetic pir8 board called the Psycho Circus, various YIP members, such as Sponge Monkey, Xenomorph, Milky and Thanatos (and associates Swanless Leda and Liquid Flounder) assume alternate names and raid the board, posting hundreds of very funny mocking messages and generally having much fun, before being banished.
Sept 20. A debate erupts on Toast regarding the idea of using a swastika for humour on the cover of YIP Magazine.
Sept 25. After tediously long debates on Babble and Bellogausia and an unsuccessful attempt by YIP Vikings (Milky, Finn, STiK, Thanatos, Sponge Monkey) to restore YIPism to The Fringe, which has fallen prey to "adult" forces, it is decided that The Fringe is no longer a YIP BBS.
Oct 10. After the swastika argument turns Swanless Leda against YIP, Bellogausia quits YIP. Sponge Monkey remains a member, but with far less enthusiasm. This split effectively ends the membership of the "Bellogausian Branch" of YIP, including Fletchy, Rubberbandman, Neon Iguana and The Love God.
Fall 92. A reconciliation of sorts occurs on TPC, which is first voted back into YIP (in a poll voted on by only STiK, Milky Puppy and The Necromancer) and then later declared a semi-YIP board. Another poll which changes TPC's name to Ch*Mound 7 reflects the renewed dominance of YIP voters. YIP members struggle to rid the board of first Cat Housers (Rapunzel Kiev, Mad Max, Tigeress, etc.) and then the Photography Gang (Contraceptive, Furtive, etc.), two groups of "adult" BBSers, fond of smalltalk and sexual innuendo.
Oct 20. The McDonald's issue of YIP, issue 9, is released to generally poor reviews. This issue is accomplished after Xenomorph has quit the editorial staff and contains 'filler' as well as good material. Finn, Milky and Snigglefritz - some of the primary distributors of YIP outside of YIP circles - have lost their old distribution bases by graduating high school. The staff of YIP, already lacking the old enthusiasm, lose interest in the magazine, which has become a chore.
Nov 12. YIP members begin to dominate Inigo's Twisted Logic Pyroto, but it is not invited to become a YIP BBS.
* 1993 *
Mar 7. When Ron Sharp removes the 'YIP Member' sign from his title screen and begins to follow a more 'adult-oriented' course, CyberSquid is voted out of YIP.
Spring/93. YIP writing declines considerably, in quantity at least. STiK emerges as the most prolific writer (and defender of YIP as an official group). Other sometimes writers at this time include Milky Puppy, Corn Syrup and The Finn.
June 8. Milky Puppy and Xenomorph release a few dozen copies of a one- page joke issue of YIP Magazine, which they call issue 10. This recieves a smile or two.
July 7. Corn Syrup's BBS, at first called simply 471-8982 and later called Pasta, goes online with Sapphire as one of only 3 YIP BBSes in existance. (In YIP history, this board is considered a revival of the 20th YIP BBS, for although the two boards are different, they have the same sysop and phone number.)
July 20. TPC goes down, citing a lack of activity and a lack of interest on Master Spelunker's part. The userlist and various other items are absorbed by The Toast Exchange, but many YIP and YIP-like members drift to the winds.
Aug 2-18. Ethereal Lethargy tries to revive The Pinnacle Club as The Zenith Society, but it is a failure.
Sept 5. His old collection swelled with new files from TPC's hard drive, STiK announces that he has managed to round up over 300 YIP textfiles. In the following months, Milky joins in the search, finding more than a hundred more, although it is realized that dozens have been lost forever.
Oct 15. An attempt is made at reviving YIP Magazine. The regulars, Thanatos Jones and Pheasant Deli manage to produce a few pages before enthusiasm dies off.
Nov 5. Babble BBS goes down permanently, having only a handful of active users. Milky Puppy lacks the motivation to restore it. With Babble gone, any vague connection (within YIP boards) to non-Sapphire users such as DragonLord, Maelstrom and El Del disappears.
Dec 20. YIP members meet T.E.A.M. (Together Evading All Meaning) members for the first time, on Toast Exchange. T.E.A.M. is at first viewed as a group like YIP in its infancy, but is later perceived to be quite distinct from YIP, favouring the more normal babbling (rambling) over YIP-style babbling (nonsense).
* 1994 *
Jan 4/94. Xenomorph adds a few notes to this history file, inspiring Milky to write a much more thorough YIP History file.
Jan 20. Only 3 YIP boards (Pan Transit, Toast Exchange and Pasta) remain active, and Pan Transit just barely so. YIP has an active (BBSing) membership of less than 10 (The Finn, Milky, Xenomorph, STiK, Corn Syrup, Maud'dib, Thanatos Jones, Marla Shapiro, Persephone, Melted Lint and occaisionally a few guest appearances).
Jan 16. The sequel to YIP Magazine is officially announced by The Finn, who intends to put forth a collection of material by YIP members and other contributors, approximately bi-monthly.
Jan/94. YIP writing once again begins to flourish, with Milky and Finn becoming as productive as STiK. This lasts for about two months before again dying down to a trickle.
Feb 7. The cult of Corn, created by Thanatos Jones and a non-member friend, comes into being. "I'm Horny for Corn!" becomes a popular catch phrase and pub decoration.
Feb 15. The first issue of Corn Crazy magazine is released, containing works by Xeno, Finn, Persephone, STiK, Thanatos Jones, Milky and Corn Syrup. It gets decent reviews.
Feb 17. Sponge Monkey sets up a new Pyroto called Seignistic Mountain, which quickly becomes a YIP hangout. Seignistic goes down after a few months.
Feb 19. YIP members begin invading a Pyroto called Prometheus Mountain, and eventually Warick, Milky, Finn and Melted Lint destroy it before leaving.
Feb 21. Pasta becomes a Pyroto named Mount Babylon, run by The Finn. Mount Babylon serves as a meeting ground between such YIP members as Milky, Maud'dib, Melted Lint, Necro, and Marla Shapiro, as well as such ex-members as Totenbuch Christ, Highway Robber and Asphalt Bastard.
Sept/94. The pay chat board Opticomm becomes a hangout for such personages as Immolated Messiah, Thanatos Jones, Necro and Xenomorph.
Sept 28. Mount Babylon is taken down, due to disinterest on the part of both the users and The Finn.
Future World domination?
YIP can be compared with a nation or an empire with very interesting and sometimes useful results. In comparing YIP with Rome, many similar mistakes become obvious. Rome, after successfully being founded by two brothers who were raised by a she-wolf (much like Finn and Milky), was originally a monarchy. Similarly, after Finn and Milky founded YIP, they ruled arbitrarily, deciding on members and policies however they wished. Just as Rome expanded by means of defensive alliances with its closest neighbours, the other Latin cities, YIP's first members were the personal friends of Finn and Milky.
Rome's early culture was affected by the Etruscan civilization which was dominant in the northern section of Italy. Similarly, YIP's culture was greatly affected by its relations with pir8dom, so greatly that YIP just barely stopped short of being merely a babblish pir8 group. Rome's culture was rendered more sophisticated through confrontation with and infiltration by the Greek culture, dominant in the southern part of Italy and in Sicily. In the same manner, the first YIP members generally saw public domain as being dull, but with increasing expansion into the PD world realized that there were many good aspects to PD boards and users, such as intelligence. In its earliest stage, Rome wrote a very basic constitution called the Seven Tables. YIP's equivalent was the equally insufficient Babbler's Handbook.
Once Rome had a solid power base, it began to expand to the north and south and established its first provinces. Metro Holographix is the equivalent of Rome's Northern Italian (pir8) provinces, Babble is the equivalent of Greek (PD) Italy and Sicily. Rome's first great military successes against Hannibal gave Rome Carthage's holdings in Spain. Similarly, after initial conflict with Golden Rodent, he was drawn back into YIP, bringing SpaceBar into the YIP Empire. YIPnet was established between SpaceBar and Metro, just as trade routes began between Italy and Spain.
Just as the Romans were now surprised to be bequeathed the kingdom of Asia Minor, YIP was startled when Master Spelunker asked if his board The Pinnacle Club could become a YIP BBS. Rome was uncertain if it was powerful enough to expand its empire so much further, especially so far to the East and the Greek world. YIP was uncertain if it was ready for such a large BBS, especially one outside of Pickering and so public domain. Both groups accepted the offer and were forever changed. Rome had to greatly increase its legions to defend its new territories, and YIP had to recruit many new members to ensure that YIP was not a complete minority. Rome received much wealth from Asia in the same way that YIP received many stories from TPC.
From this point on, conquest in all directions was established for both Rome and YIP. In Rome, monarchy had been replaced with democracy, much in the same way as democratic voting had been introduced to YIP. Both groups possess the constant battle for and expansion of the voting franchise in very similar manners.
Rome's armies were successful because they had barbarian energy and obedience, as opposed to the less brave and more free-thinking Greek soldiers. YIP's pir8 members showed the same traits in the face of anti-YIP PD users. Rome expanded to the East (Macedonia, Greece), intending to spread the dominance of Latin but gradually itself adopted the Greek customs. YIP expanded onto other PD boards (Pan Transit, Cybersquid), intending to gradually make them less PD-ish, but in the end YIP itself became less pir8. Rome continued to expand into less civilized territories, such as Narbonensis, and YIP did likewise with the Insane Underground. Rome acquired its first African colony with Carthage and second with Numidia. YIP acquired its first long distance BBS with Babble West and second with Hypothetical Creation. For both empires, these colonies had little value except in terms of prestige.
Just as Rome aquired further barbarian territories in the West, YIP acquired more pir8 boards such as Alcatraz, Veil of Deception and QEW. Rome was greatly strengthened by its acquisition of the large barbarian territory of Gaul, whose closest equivalent in YIP is the Lunatic Fringe. Rome held Caledonia (Scotland) as briefly as YIP held Junction Triangle, and held Britannia as loosely as YIP held Alcatraz - territories too barbarous to be held. Rome was strengthened by further territorial gains, just as YIP continued to acquire more and more boards. Rome kept the Parthians out of Asia much as YIP kicked the Cat Housers off of The Pinnacle Club. Rome was greatly reinforced when it received the Greek kingdom of Egypt, as YIP was by the PD board Bellogausia. Rome, now at the height of its power, now began the attempt to expand over the Danube, into Northern Germany, as YIP moved into Fetus Jesus.
Rome, at its height, extended into two dozen provinces, and possessed many legions and a thriving goods trade. YIP had over a dozen boards, nearly 80 members and a thriving trade in stories. Now Asia began to produce the first ideological troubles for Rome as discontent towards Rome's domination grew in the kingdom of Judea, leading eventually to Christian martyrdom. This resembles Totenbuch's first complaints against YIP on The Pinnacle Club. Rome now had to back out of Germany and regroup. Rome eventually decided to adopt Christianity just as YIP decided to pursue Totenbuch's suggested more elitist course, although for both the damage had already been done.
When the Goths, Vandals and other invaders descended upon the Roman Empire, vast legions and many provinces were lost, and gaining new territories became difficult. At this time, YIP gained only one new BBS, the Toast Exchange, and lost several. Now that Rome's image was tarnished, it was more easily assailed by its enemies from every direction, even when their interests were not related. For the same reasons Rome gave up Greece, Gaul and Egypt, YIP gave up CyberSquid, The Fringe and Bellogausia. Just as Roman trade was halted, YIPnet and the story trade were ended by these upheavals. Italy itself was eventually lost to the invaders, as Metro and Babble were lost to apathy.
Rome's only hope now switched to Constantinople, capital of the Eastern Roman Empire: YIP's Toast Exchange. Constantinople inherited much of its culture and lands from Asia, as Toast inherited much from TPC (voting, member list, pub night, etc.). Constantinople was rejoined by Dacia (Pasta, for YIP), and these struggled alone through a dark age consisting of quarreling independent Eastern kingdoms, raging barbarism in the West, and the emergence of new but always temporary empires. Rome exerted spiritual influence across much of the world, as YIP continues to influence much of the BBS world. Rome went on to found the Holy Roman Empire. Does something of this sort lie ahead for YIP?
As easy as it would be to say that YIP, like all empires, could only rise so far before being destroyed, I do not believe that YIP was doomed to endure its great fall. YIP first started on the wrong path by admitting non-enthusiastic members and sysops. Attempting to make users into YIP members was a good policy, but this should have been accomplished before admitting these members into the group. With hindsight, it is obvious that attempting to convert a BBS with a bad sysop into a YIP BBS is hopeless. Rome and YIP were both harmed when their members no longer focussed their problems on external forces: once moronic pir8s and friendly idiots were everywhere removed, members fought with each other instead of a common enemy.
Another fundamental flaw in YIP's expansion policy was that the recruiters told recruits what they wanted to hear. YIP was forced to be pir8, PD, elitist and friendly all at once, and couldn't take the strain. A simple constitution-like document or a leader with one firm goal could've helped prevent this, and possibly found some way of reconciling toleration with elitism. Just as Roman provinces often complained about how the Seven Tables were suited for Italian interests, newer YIP members felt uncomfortable with having to fit in with the old definitions of YIP (how could someone like Asphalt Bastard or Czech relate to the animal cults, which were ancient and limited to certain boards?). The YIP Encyclopedia was clearly a brilliant idea and if it had been successfully completed, the group would likely be much better off today.
Both empires had the fatal flaw of taking everything they could, without debating on whether or not it was desirable, and overexpanding their resources. If YIP had concentrated on just keeping successful YIP boards alive and brilliant, permitting idiots and maintaining YIPnet, voting, the story exchange, contests and weekly themes, it wouldn't have died such an agonizing death by apathy.
"Official" Name Alternate Names
--------------- ---------------
* Alcatraz - Phoenix BBS
Ampersand - Farside, Gaia
Asphalt Bastard - Hunter, Hunter P.I., God on a Stick, The <
Overseer, Wheat Prince
* Babble - BiBBLE
* Babble West
Baby Face
Bartender - Thug
Beast
* Bellogausia - Mink Overtures, Bellogausia: The Empire
Boss Man
Corn Syrup - Aunt Jemima, Confetti, Dulak, Flynn, Night Owl
Creeping Face - Caramon Majere, Kev
Cthulu (a)
Cthulu (b)
* CyberSquid
Czech
Deadpony
Death Warden
Dominus Exmons
DragonLord - Ford Prefect, Slartibartfast
* Drifting Continent - Veil of Deception, VoD, TDC
Dronon Brassmane
El Del - Marlboro Man
Erdna
* Erlenstar Mt.
* Fetus Jesus - Purgatory
Fido
Finn - The Finn, Hyperjesus, Raistlin Majere, Sausage Boy,
Jack Dracula, Finnyy
Flash - Poseidon
Fletchy - Sponge Monkey Jr.
Flyboy
Foldor - Wheat Princess
Frets
Gambit - Gambitte
Gaunt Man
* Gazouillement Mt.
Grey Pilgrim
Greymalkin
Golden Rodent - Moondoggie, E. Jones(?)
Hellbastard - The Unknown Soldier
Highway Robber - Bob, Robby Robber
* Hypothetical Creation
Immolated Messiah - [Imm]ol;ated Messiah, Natas
* Insane Underground - Empire City
Insanity
Journeyman
* Junction Triangle - The Junction
Kamikaze
Kwirk
La Dupe
Lamont Cranston
Love God - Neo Velcro, Satyromaniac, Malhavoc, Prophelactate
* Lunatic Fringe - The Fringe
Maelstrom
Mam'zelle Hepzibah - Nyagarolthep
Master Spelunker - Spelunk, Spelunker
Marla Shapiro - Gargamel, Goatface, Sarcastic Drywall Placenta,
Belly, Doctor Morgan, Ulpia Severina
Maud'dib - Dib
Melted Lint - Zburt, StoveTop Muskrat
Merv
* Metro Holographix - Metro, Metro Holografix, Pi
Milky Puppy - El Mambo's Mom, Instafunk, Milketh the Quaint,
Whitedeath, Ninjalicious, X-Fetrn, Gybat
Milquetoast
Necromancer - Danzig, Necro
Neddy
Neon Iguana
Never Mind
Nightshade
Nitro
Ollie
* Pan Transit - PT
* Pasta - The Tower, Realm of Cheeze, 471-8982, Babble Markham,
Mount Babylon, many other less common names
Pennywise - Gratuitous Violence
Persephone
Phoenix
* Pinnacle Club - TPC, Ch*Mound 7, The Zenith Society
Plastic Brain Carrier - Icecube
Polish Scytheman
* QEW - Warez World
* Quintessential Mt.
* Realm of Death - TROD, The Neo-Ostrogothic Emporium
Ren
* R'lyeh - The Lost City of R'lyeh
Ron Sharp - Root
Rubanicas - Gerog, Rube, Unknown Snorkler, Saditmoi,
Regalumontas
Rubberbandman
Satin Teddy - Surviver
Severina Magdalene - Peggy Suicide, Severina Vampyre
Singularity - Contraceptive
* SpaceBar - Babylonian Waterslide, Babylonian Bar and Grille,
Totally Oblong Monoliths
Spitting Llama - The Spitting Pogo Llama
Sponge Monkey - Doctor Detroit, Pope Control, Tox's, Born Again
Chainsaw, Cabilious, Voluptuous Sombrero, Reality
Toast, Jesus Feet, Juicy Womb, Yo Mambo
Smarasderagd - Smarry
Snigglefritz - The Toxic Avenger, The Sphyramid
* Stellar System
STiK - LORD STiK, Mobile Ressurrection Fern, National
Park of D00m
Strandman
Sunder - Rednus
Tarquin - Tarquin 2!
Tear Jacob
Thanatos Jones - Thanaslut, Snark, Thanamonk, Owners of Cats
* Toast Exchange
Topeka
Totenbuch Christ - Bucky, Eudemonist Endlosung, Narcissist Endlosung,
Schutzstaffeln Utopia, Squid Lupin, Wheat King,
Infinicide Inglobate, Revisionist Christ,
Totenbuch Cheezegate
Trail Blazer
Treebeard
Turin Turambar - Chevalier D'Eon, Dios Nyse
Vindicator
Viral Infector
Wayfarer - Scorpion, Aglaonema
Wild Wolverine
Xenomorph - /Jeremy/, Twelve Incher, Nasal Co-Heasive
Fantasy Goat
Zone
[This file demonstrates ancient views towards Babble, seen as pure stream of consciousness. This file was written just prior to the formation of YIP and all references to YIP and SFA in the file were added at subsequent times. In this file, it is assumed that the current form of Babble (ie. Spanish, rap music) is the final form of Babble.]
Despite popular belief, babble is, in fact, an artform. After all, could you think of this:
"Anyway, fried chicken, and Bill's armidillo was just lying there, not moving."
I think not. Babble is fun. To read and to write. Anyone can do it. Everyone thinks its really funny. I myself write babble as a source of relaxation and its great when your bored.
That's all there is to it!
Then came rap music, which got incorporated and funky was lucky enought to become our most favouritist word. We babbled on tapes, and made all our friends babblers. They created babble communities in Ontario and BC. Milky was surprised to find that others babbled without knowing it, and encouraged them. I mean hey! Now, YIP and SFA is in full effect and babble is our trademark. By the 2000's, babble will be everywhere and will encompass the universe. Then you'll be very slorry you messed with mother christ.
Babble messages, posted on YIP BBS's are also gaining popularity rather rapidly. I dunno, something about a message just plain encourages people to babble with enthusiasm. Call it phereomones in the computer keyboard.
The countries that will do are: canada, guatamala, yugoslavia, hell, babylon and remember: always, if possible, show violence and hatred towards cats, and morons!
Have thanx and babylon!
[This file demonstrates the old (1989) views towards Babble. Note the worship of Pomplemousse (the god of Babble), inclusion of inside jokes and the shocking, appalling absence of the number 8 billion from the Babble numbers. Most of the words in this file were never actually used. This is the original version of the guide, as opposed to the more common version editted by Milky and Finn to make it slightly more Pan-YIP.]
SECTION # 1
-------------------=> WORDS AND MEANINGS <=---------------------
These are the words created by Myself and Milky Puppy And the FINN which are most commonly used in babble....
Spouse - Any female of ANY description
Rawdweezlebak - a person of little intelligence
Teething - to complain
Teething beaver - a person who complains often
doobee - a homosexual
FUNKY - a good word, refers to something you like eg funky spouse!
donut - a person you don't like
flagball - a lunatic, carzy or insane, derives from flag and ball
pastry - drugs
quabble - (k-wabb-l) to argue, not fight, just argue
puppie - the human brain
nogwhip - simple, appealing, pleasant
disgroggle - to screw up or re-arrange
alpurge - an article of clothing, eg. his alperges were disgroggled
grosm - (gr-u-zm) the face eg. this spouse had the most nogwhip lookin'
grosm I'd ever mandated!
mandate - to look at.
kwishle - a dumb sport with two eggs and a lamma.
spolack - (sp-o-lak) beautiful
bricks - pressure
Wild thing - any bodily function carried out in a bathroom
spackle - to bleed
pilfer - to smell, a smell, eg. this spouse had this spolack pilfer!
shmukaloo - (shmuck-a-loo) short form=shmuckle means=to laugh
kook - a knife
dissin' - to anger another
tuba - a belgian police officer
blander - to kill
spiff - something you like
debutant - (deb-u-tont) difficult or hard
tres - need I tell you...ok very(for you non-frogs!)
tree - a tree, what are you, some kinda disgroggled flagball!!!???
cellular - (sell-u-ler) easy
whippin' - preceeds funky or such words eg. This flagball guy pulls out
a whippin' funky pickle,
then BLANDERS THE GUY!!!
- can also preceed any noun(object person)
piggus - (pig-is) an insult, eg. You are a piggus, snortable tree!
snortable - rude, arrogant, stuck-up
grass - green, grows in earth, you might have seen some!!
grandpa - a baby
smulger - a person of authority
snorkle - to sleep
coque' - (koo-kay) An ancient form of martial arts
Shmorgesborg - the present continent of yurip (europe)
smute - a strange substance cast don by the pomplemoose
POMPLEMOUSE - OUR LORD!!!!!!!
avec l'r - to worship
puce - like smute, but synthetic
applebags - americans
applefag doobee - a san fransician
beer-bellied wombat - insult
the bible - something to burn
Now on to something quite out of the ordinary, no not a cow, the catch phrases of babble and their purposes as they pertain to the life-span of your average mongolian brain-child.
------------=> Babble's many...many CATCH PHRASES <=------------
Well...I'm gonna have to say goodnight so... : expressing disapointment
snorkle the big one : to sleep heavily
Spokane style : in a manner as to kill one's self
pass me that lamma : style of requesting that a lamma be passed
Bo Didley! : expressing great exitement
hubba hubba : oh damn!
wissout ze age : the quality of youngness
to sand one's spouse : to do it......blush blash, chuckle fear.
hou : the al 'roun' action werd.
fax me a yak : requesting that one fax another a yak of some description
yak me a fax : figure it out yerself you flagball.
zany francais : a variety of babble, consisting mainly of FRANCH!
-----------------=> BABBLE PEOPLE and their pts <=--------------
These are the men and women of the u.s.s enterprise....wel...not really, but we all have dreams.......... This is actually a list of commonly babling humans : (mostly taken from delta beaver squid mythology)
barbara satan - interviewer
e' the babbler - a proffessional babbler
zach fantom - someone you'd lick.
valdy - driver of the exxon valdez
pogo wharez - an annoying BBS user
and here are the commonly used babble animals(in complete order):
wombats, mongeese, penguins, cows, chiens, fish, squid, yaks, llama's.
and now onto the hardest part of any lingo (septin acours babl),
-------------------> THE NUMBER SYSTEM <------------------------
NUMBERS IN BABBLE ARE PERHAPS A LITTLE TOO EASY. there are only 13 ( not that 13 is a number):
one, two, nessecity, three, four, oh no, five, six, seven, vixen, nein, dicks, fifty-three, pi, infinity
memorize it and you will excel in every field. ( and pasture).
[Reflects a narrow early 1991 view towards YIP and Babble as constants. Encourages members to use "Hey!" in summaries and use the standard 'weird alias' trick. Very uplifting, though.]
Well. Ahem. I am here to describe what it take to be a YIP member. I will assume complete ignorance for most, as any current YIP member will already know all this drivel as they _are_ a YIP member. But that's beside the point.
To be a YIP member, you will need the following equipment:
1 Computer
1 Modem
1 Telecommunications Package
1 Phone Line
1 Brain, factory seconds preferred.
Or: The ability to whistle at 1200bps, understand pulse tones and have a photographic memory.
Other equipment that helps: The phone number of a YIP member board, and the ability to Babble at great lengths.
Babble, you ask? What is this magnificent talent you describe, you ask? Well, even if you didn't ask, and instead said, "Boy, this is really stupid", I'm going to tell you anyways.
Babbling is at the heart of any YIP member. It is the ability to ramble on, at length, about anything at all, including that big thing I see hanging off your face. Would you please get rid of it before I continue? It's very repulsive. Thank you. Anyways, babbling is not something that you can take lightly - it is a skill that takes minutes, maybe even hours to master, and should only be attempted only after reading the instructions on the label. Keep out of the reach of children. Poison. Oops, that's my lunch. You should find a file on this board which describes babbling in more detail, as my purpose is not to describe babble, but to describe the YIP member. So just forget it, I'm not telling.
Another quality which separates the average user from a YIP member is the fact that being human is frowned upon. Oh sure, there are human members, but you will never rise in the ranks of YIPness if you're cursed with an opposable thumb. Oh sure, you say, like I want to join a racist organization - but so's a toaster. Can I continue? Thank you. Anyways, YIP members are divided into several animal kingdoms, which I will list below whether you like it or not, dammit.
As you can see, the groups vary widely. As they should! So, you see, we're not racist, we just don't like you. Doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you just might be a smelly, worthless human. But then, why would a human be reading this? I dunno.
Being a YIP member means being as lazy as possible. We tend to use the same message titles over and over and over and over. The most popular to date seems to be "Hey!", due to it's attention-grabbing nature and ease of use. I give it a ten, but the Russian judge only gives it a 7. If you become a member, feel free to use it as often as possible. Another thing that will get you through just about any situation is the sacred "Y'Know", which is a component of YIP itself - Y'know, Inc. Productions. Here's an example:
Bill: "Hey Fred, how's that prostate going?"
Do not abuse your "Y'Know" privileges, or you'll have to sit in the
corner. Remember - with power comes responsibility.
Most important of all thing in this or that universe over there next to
the prunes is the alias. A YIP member must not have one of poor quality,
as it is a sign of a clean mind. Which is a no-no. Take mine, for lack
of any better examples (and since I'm writing this, dammit - if you want
to use your alias, write your own description!). I bet you have no idea
what the hell it means. This is good. However more bizarre, there are
ones which make even less sense. This is also good. A good choice for an
alias is something which contains everyday household words which do not
belong together, like "Wheat Radio" or "Styrofoam Lunchpail". Go ahead,
use these. I dare you. Hey.
For some bizarre, strange, weird reason unknown to man at this time, YIP
members are capable of doing something which is the envy of every non-
YIP user - they can carry on an intelligent conversation, using correct
punctuation and good grammar. Without using the caps lock keys. I know,
it's too good to be true, but hey. What makes them do this, I dunno.
Whatever the reason, the outcome is quite quaint (Quote used with
permission, (c) 1991 YIP). One of the side effects of this quality
conversation is message bases filled to capacity, users with thousands
of messages under their belts, and happy Sysops. This is good - keep
your Sysops happy, and maybe they'll give you a milkbone. Woof.
YIPers tend to gather at the various YIP boards, which also have weird
names. At these places they participate in many activities, including
contests and games. This is one of the better things of being a YIPer.
There should be a list of these nesting places on this board. If it's
any good. After all, this file will only go to the finest BBSes. It's a
snob, and I don't regret spoiling it rotten. It's an only child.
Ahem.
Not just any Joe Shmoe can join. Well, that's a lie - that Joe Shmoe
standing next to you can join. Joining is actually quite simple, which
is good since most YIP members have no clue of what's going on anyways.
I, for instance, didn't join. I was recruited, fresh outta da juniors.
If you sign up at any of the polling stations, you will be voted upon as
to whether we can get anything out of you, like cash or negotiable
bonds. If you past the test, you're in. If you don't, well, I dunno.
Anybody who oozes the above qualities _must_ be a YIP member. Whether
they like it or not. We'll tie them up and drag it out of them. Ve Hav
vays ov makink you a YIP member......
Now that you know what it takes to be a YIPer, wouldn't you like to be
a YIPers, too? Be a YIPer, drink Dr.Pep
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
"Ensign, prepare to engage the Moo Drive, Moo Factor 10."
"Moo Factor 10, sir? The engineer doesn't think the Drives can handle
that much power! We'll be milkshakes!"
"I don't care what that drunken fool thinks, we have an engagement of
Llama Fighters showing on the FoamScan, only a few parsecs away!"
"Fuck you."
"Moo Factor 10......Engage!"
MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
[This file shows more recent (late 1991) views towards Babble, which
is now seen to be a merger between other schools of thought, and YIP,
which is now more defined. More importantly, this file encourages
users to be creative themselves, rather than simply adopting the
form.]
These are words which have come into popular use within the Babble
sub-culture. While we encourage you to make up your own terms and
sayings, you are welcome to use these. They may help you
understand what is going on. Here is a legend:
a. - adjective; n. - noun; s. - state of being; v. - verb; o. - other.
Absurdism - n. The glorification of the absurd, usually for a
philosophical purpose. See Eugene Ionesco, Samuel Beckett, Kurt
Vonnegut and Douglas Adams.
Ainga (ein-gah) - o. 1. An expression of sadness or grief. 2. An
integral part of the song "Ainga-Ainga-Moo-Moo" (sung to the tune
of "Happy Birthday").
Anarchy! - n. Something someone yells when doing something
rebellious, like lightly kicking a post or running in a road devoid
of cars.
Babble - nv. 1. "Train of thought" writing or speaking. 2. A form
of expression which is surreally humourous. "Surrealism" is that
which finds it's origins in, and appeals to, the subconscious.
Bastard - n. Term which applies to any human (nothing to do with
breeding).
Biftech - n. All-too-popular French meat (see Goat, unrelated, but
nice).
Bitter - a. A good thing to be (see Sarcasm).
Bucky - ns. Anyone and everyone (usually, only one person at a time
may be Bucky). Also, a frame of mind. A way of existence.
Cheebah - n. 1. An expression of joy or surprise, when repeated
twice (ie. Cheebah cheebah!). Has nothing to do with cannibis,
oddly enough. 2. Rapper term for a joint.
Cheeze - n. Proper way to spell the word known to most as
"cheese". Some rebels even spell it "Cheexe".
Duh-duh! (or Dun-dun!) - o. Term used to dramatically enhance any
sort of statement. (ie: "What are you eating?" "Your little
brother!" "Duh-duh!").
Face - n. 1. A word to be extremly overused whenever possible. 2.
Positive noun (ie. Public Face. Public Enemy is good, hence face).
3. A good neck-covering. 4. For general essence (ie. "I can't give
it to you 'cause it's not in my face!") Alternate spellings:
faice, faize.
Film Noir - n. A type of movie which most YIP members find
exceedingly humourous, much to the chagrin of the artists who
create and enjoy this sort of thing. Babble can find it's origins
in film noir, since it is often very surreal.
Fuck - nvas. So many uses, so little disk space.
Funky - a. Good, nice, correct, wonderful, etc. Funky has it's
origins in rapspeak. It originally meant "with lots of bass."
Before that: "Smelling bad." Before that: "Good, nice, correct,
wonderful, etc." (see: Babylon, where it was originally used).
Gahee - o. A form of laughter.
Geek - n. A Geek is not meant to be an insulting term. It is
sometimes misinterpreted as such. A Geek, however, is merely one
who uses a Modem. Geeking - v. The act of using a modem. BBSing.
Head - n. 1. Something you bite into, and scream. Human,
preferable. 2. Common nesting ground for faces (see Face).
Hey! - o. 1. Popular message summary line (ie: "Hey!"). 2. A term
used when one wishes to begin a sentence aesthetically, but does
not know how. (ie: "Hey!"). 3. A term used when one wishes to get
the attention of another (ie: "Hey!"). 4. General
statement of apathy (ie: "Hey!").
Hou - o. All-around action word, to be said while climbing stairs
or doing backflips (see Polish Olympic Gymnastics Women's Finals).
Innuendo, Sexual - n. Unhumourous suggestions of sex (see sex)
made by the devil's spawn, which acknowledges society's idiotic
fear of sex. Can be used as a babble device, if used in a mocking
or absurd manner (ie: "Nice wall, eh?
Islington Joke - n. (also known as "an Islington" or
"Islingtonism") This joke has developed due to a theory that if
anything, no matter how unhumourous, is repeated enough, it will
get to such a point that the sheer repetition of it will generate
humour. The joke is as follows: "How about I meet you at Islington
in five minutes?" To which the correct response is "Hmmm... Well,
let's see. I would have to get on a bus and then transfer, so it
will take me at least five minutes." and then "Hmmm... OK. How
about five minutes then?" And so on. I suppose the original
humour is that one could not reach Islington in such a short period
of time, unless they are very close. But one should ignore this.
It is not what is actually said, but how often. To achieve the best
effect, the joke should be repeated at least ten times each and
every hour. One must realize, before starting, that it won't even
appear to be slightly humourous until it has been repeated thirty
or so times. One must also treat it seriously at all times,
otherwise the effect is lost.
Jesus - n. 1. A reference to an obscure biblical school teacher
named "Christ" (how absurd, see absurd). Approximately half the
world considers him to be devine. Thus, he is great fun to mock
(see mock). See Crusifixion.
k00l - n. A word denoting k00lness, originating in mocking
pir8's. Less forms of k00lness include: cool, khul, kool, etc.
La la la - o. Something to say, when there is nothing else to say.
Labia - n. 1. Vaginal lips. 2. A woman, or women in general. 3.
A general insult. Many feminist groups have been worried about
this. They claim that the only reason that Labia is used as an
insult is because of men, and more specifically, men who hate
women, somehow got it into their head that insulting the woman's
body was a good thing to do. They insist that Labia should only be
used when actually describing the vaginal lips. What a bunch of
fucking dykes.
Mauve - a. A nifty colour (see Actual Mauve and Mogue).
Mock - v. To make light of, to scorn, to imitate satirically. It
is a popular belief that the Universe, and everything in it, exists
for the enlightened to mock. A popular form of mockery is to point
a finger at the mockee, and state: "Ha!" (see Ha!). Mocking is
quite fun. Try it some time. Mocker - n. Like mock, but a noun
(see Mock).
Mockfest - n. A fest of mockery (See Child's Play II).
Modemspeak - n. 1. One of the many languages babble draws from
(ie: warez, d00d, pir8, etc. See k00l). 2. Speaking like a modem
(ie: khkhkhkh).
Mogue - a. A colour. Has its origin in Finn attempting to
pronounce "Mauve". Has since evolved into it's own special colour,
which, coincidentally, is like Mauve. Exactly, in fact (see Mauve,
unless, of course, you've just come from Mauve).
Mong - v. Something a fish can do by himself or with a few friends
(See Fishmonger).
Moo - o. 1. All purpose word. It works well in conjunction with
Ainga. (ie: Ainga moo). Moo has surpassed Ainga in popularity.
2. Ancient cow proverb.
Mother, Your - n. This term found its original use as a reply to
the question: "What are you doing?" or any deviation of said
question ("What are you doing tonight? What were you doing last
month?", etc). The term then evolved (if such a word can
used) into a generic response. It was found that the term could
be used as a reply to just about anything, although often a
modification must be implemented. WARNING: If you are unfamiliar
with this term in any way, STAY AWAY FROM IT. It's proven to be as
addictive as crack cocaine, perhaps more. It took some members
months to rehabilitate themselves. This term will destroy your mind.
Muthahfuckah - n. An all-purpose noun (nothing to do with incest,
but see incest anyway, just for fun).
Nazi - n. Any bad or mean person (nothing to do with National
Socialism).
Neo-Ostrogothism - n. A philosophy, created by Totenbuch Christ
and The Necromancer, which finds it's basis in the concept of
mockery (see mock).
New Math - n. A new, simplified version of mathematics, it
replaces all the complicated rules of calculus, algebra, etc. with
a simple, universal and unifying rule: x=3 (ie: A right threaded
bolt is tightened by applying a 50 N force to a 0.2 m wren . Find
the moment of force about the bolt. Solution: Let x be the moment
of force. Calculations: x=3 Conclusion: Therefore, the moment of
force about the bolt is 3).
Nice - a. Generic excuse (ie: "You racist!" "No, I'm nice." "Oh.")
Odd - a. The babblistically correct term for that which is unusual
or absurd in nature (ie: everything, see everything).
Pi - n. 1. Discovered by the ancient Greeks, pi is a pretty neat
number. The words "three-point-one-four" seem to roll off the
tongue like melted butter. The word "pi" is very easy to use in
puns (ie: "A slice of 3.14?") and is often used as an Isl-
ingtonism (see, y'know) in page numbering and the like. The fact
that it paradoxically describes an infinitely long number in two
letters (or one, if you are Greek) endears it to babblers and
absurdists. 2. The first two letters in Pickering. Coincidence?
I think not.
Pickerhead - n. One who lives within the boundaries of Pickering.
A general insult used towards someone who lives in Pickering. Such
as: "Stupid Pickerhead."
Pudding - n. A gooey, somewhat absurd substance. Tapioca,
preferably.
Pun - n. 1. Any form of humour which is not funny. 2. Anything
which is not serious (ie: "You said you would pay me on Friday."
"That was a pun.")
Quaint - as. Some would have you believe "old-fashioned". LIES! A
state of ultimate and divine goodness (see k00l).
Racist - na. Any person who generalizes or points out the
characteristics of any person or object (ie: "That wall is
black." "You racist!").
Rapspeak - n. One of many languages which babble has drawn from.
The language of rappers (see Cheebah and Funky).
Rekcuf - na. A general insult. Some experts have traced its
meaning to the dawn of civilization. Noting that Alexander the
Great brought the word with him as he first conquered Persia, and
then India. The Vikings brought it to the new world, and attempted
to give it to some Indians. Columbus had a better go at it.
Others have noted that its merely Fucker spelt backwards and thus
chuckle at these so called experts. Some claim the actual spelling
is "rekcuF".
Rekcufs - n. Get one rekcuf, add one or more, and stir.
Risque (Risk-eh) - a. The use of initials (ie: JC for Jesus Christ).
Sarcasm - a. Sarcasm occurs when you say something which you do
not mean, or when you wish to portray the opposite. Sarcasm is
often used in bitterness (see Bitter).
Saturday - n. A day when we do not go to school, and thus can be
used to be uproarously humourous (ie: "Isn't that assignment due
tommorow?" "Tommorow's Saturday!") At which point the jokee, and
anyone standing within hearing range, will break into
loud, jubilent laughter. This has its origins in the mockery of
people who find humour in such simple matters.
Sex - n. Read also: Masturbation, Homosexuality, Penis size,
Women, etc. etc. See Innuendo, Sexual. Can be good if used
paradoxically (ie: "Gee, I have a really small penis." "Gee, I am
gay." etc.)
Spearchucker - n. Immensely ridiculous insult (see Moonya).
Spleen - n. 1. A neat internal organ. Considered by some to be
ornamental, but you'll never see it on a Christmas tree. 2. What
the human race is made to encase, pettily, besides.
Surrealism - n. Surrealism is an art movement initated in the
1930's. See Babble, Film Noir, etc.
Tongue - n. 1. What comes out of hiding when you die. 2. Face
parasites.
Turquoise - n. A neat name for a colour, I like it. Rumoured to
be the shade in between blue and green, but more likely Mauve (see
Mauve, yes, again).
Wallpaper - n. Stuff you put on walls, if you are ashamed of them.
Weekend Package - n. The successful predescessor to the YIP
magazine, begun in BC, circa 1985. Herein, babble evolved.
Y'know - avns. 1. Y'know. 2. A substite for any word in any
language. 3. See YIP.
YIP - nvaos. 1. Fuck off, if I have to explain it to you, then
there is no point. 2. Well, OK. Y'know Inc. Productions. A
group of people who participate in the act of babbling together.
3. A group which cherishes oddity (same as above, see oddity).
4. A magazine which brings the wonders of babble and absurism to
the world. 5. Your mother (see Mother, Your). Note: Controversy
continues to rage over the spelling. Certain rebel factions insist
that it should be spelled "YiP" (note the small "i").
Oh, you're ... - Generic reply (ie: "This pen is all sticky." "Oh,
you're all sticky.").
Nice hat - A term used to cheer someone up, instantly. Existence
of hat not mandatory.
There was an accident at the clinic - An all-purpose excuse (ie:
"Why didn't you do your homework?" "There was an accident at the
clinic." "Oh.")
You would - Reply to any statement of action (ie: "I am going to
the store." "You would.")
Aardvark - Animal at the beginning of a dictionary (see the
Aardvark collection).
Armadillo - Armadillo's have plates of armour on their backs and
roll into a ball when frightened. What more needs to be said?
Cat - Incredibly evil demons in a furry shell (see Monty Python and
the Holy Grail).
Cow - Inventors of the word Moo. God and Lord of all animals (see
Cow by Frets, Compendium of Cow Poetry by Milky and Cow Lore by
Maelstrom).
Chickens - Future oppressors of humanity (see When Chickens Get the
Vote by Totenbuch Christ).
Cjickens - An Israeli chicken (with a "j"). Has its origins in a
spelling error by Creeping Face.
Dog - Don't worry, all dogs are fake.
Duck - They quack, Llama haters. A small anti-Llama rebel force
consisting of YIP members Death Warden, Gambit and the bastard
leader, El Del, chose the spawn Satan ducks as their nimal of
choice. This is an unbiased account (see: Totenbuch's philosophy
of life, Go Llamas, go!).
Fish - Underwater pig, Giglio (YIP Mascot) is a fish (see The
Fishman or any message by the Necromancer).
Goat - 1. A three legged horned beast from the lower end of the
Alpine mountains. It is well known for its tendency to devour
entire continents. Do not say, "Hey, could you take care of my
goat for a while," to anyone who claims (correctly or falsely) to
come from Atlantis. 2. An animal which everything is like, but
different.
Iguana - Nifty lizard.
Llama - South american beast of burden, rulers of the Babylonian
animal kingdom (see Encyclopedia Llamatica by Frets).
Mongoose - Old fashioned Babble animal. Snake, I believe. Hiss.
Wombat - See above, if you want to, of course. But it's not a
snake, more like a bear.
Yak - Buffalo-like inhabitants of Nepal (see Yaks by Milky).
f. - Former Earth Country e. - Earth Country
Babylon - f. The origin of YIPism. Note that phoenetically,
Babylon can be broken into the words "Babble On."
Guatemala - e. You will find it south of Mexico.
Holland - f. Holland current exists under the names The
Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg. But they are all Hollish and
Holland shall return.
Mongolia - e. See Asia.
Prussia - f. Once the brightest star among military empires, now a
mere component of Germany and Poland. It will be free!
Yugoslavia - e. The original cow homeland. Currently at war with
itself, and quite likely to lose.
[A depressing revision of the old version, showing modern morale
and the bleakness of YIP's present situation.]
You'll have to start it yourself, since it's deader than an orange
popcicle in July.
The Trademarks and other YIP paraphenalia will be sold at Auction to
pay off creditors on March 28th, 1994. Everything will be sold "AS-IS
WHERE-IS."
The number you are dialing is not in service. Please try your call
again. This is a recording.
Well, that was fun.
Any additional information can be offered to me (Milky Puppy) on the Toast
Exchange. If you liked this file, please go sacrifice your life for YIP.
Fred: "It's okay. So, how's your radio doing?"
Bill:
Fred:
Appendix E - The Babbler's Handbook (by Golden Rodent, Milky Puppy,
The Finn and Totenbuch Christ)
WORDS AND MEANINGS
PHRASES
These are things we say that are slightly longer then words:
BABBLE ANIMALS
Babble culture is largely based on an intense love of animals, here
are some you should think about:
BABBLE COUNTRIES
The following are nations united by their Babblish qualities. Here
is a legend:
Appendix F - What It Takes To Be a YIP Member, 1994
(by Xenomorph)
Appendix G - YIP Boards, At One Time or Another
1 SpaceBar (down) 905-839-5756 Sysop: Golden Rodent
2 Metro HoloGraphix (down) 905-839-7898 Sysop: The Finn
3 Babble BBS (down) 905-831-3108 Sysop: Milky Puppy
4 The Pinnacle Club (down) 416-362-2373 Sysop: Master Spelunker
5 Pan Transit 416-539-0523 Sysop: Smarasderagd
6 CyberSquid (out) 416-422-3152 Sysop: Ron Sharp
7 Insane Underground (down) 416-340-2642 Sysop: The Boss Man
8 Babble West (down) 604-944-4848 Sysop: Plastic Brain Carrier
9 Alcatraz (down) 416-289-3814 Sysop: The Phoenix
10 Hypothetical Creation (down) 519-725-0848 Sysop: Tear Jacob
11 Junction Triangle (out) 416-766-8390 Sysop: Vindicator
12 Drifting Continent (down) 905-683-5611 Sysop: Creeping Face
13 QEW (out) 905-111-1111 Sysop: Ollie
14 Erlenstar Mountain (down) 416-421-4683 Sysop: Wayfarer
15 Quintessential Mt. (down) 905-111-1111 Sysop: Maud'dib
16 The Lunatic Fringe (out) 905-929-1373 Sysop: Sunder
17 Realm of Death (down) 905-275-5856 Sysop: The Necromancer
18 Stellar System (down) 905-427-5856 Sysop: Death Warden
19 Gazouillement Mountain (down) 905-427-7214 Sysop: Nitro
20 Pasta/Mt. Babylon (down) 905-471-8982 Sysop: Corn Syrup/The Finn
21 R'lyeh (out) 416-111-1111 Sysop: Cthulu
22 Bellogausia (out) 416-755-7064 Sysop: Sponge Monkey
23 Fetus Jesus (down) 905-607-3617 Sysop: Asphalt Bastard
24 The Toast Exchange 416-651-5673 Sysop: Xenomorph
Ending Bit