Bending down, I lifted the rock high above my head, finding it to be remarkably light. And there he was! His small, black eyes stared at me excitedly. His pinkish-orange tongue darted out from between his razor-sharp white fangs. As I cupped him in my hands and lifted him to my face, I noticed the waxy-texture of his thoroughly red skin. I struggle to conceal my joyous smile as I greeted the salamander with a cautious, "Hello." I think my voice may have cracked halfway thorugh the word, but I was really too giddy to remember clearly.
There was a pause, and my nerves tensed. Had I displeased the salamander? Was this the right salamander? Was I insane? When was mommy coming home? What did 'flume' mean? What was the currency of Sri Lanka?
"Oh hi," said the salamander, ending my descent into panic. His voice was mellow and flowing, the 'h' from the word 'oh' seeming to lead right into the 'h' from the word 'hi'. The words were like sweetest honey oozing from between two slices of freshly baked bread which had somehow become lodged in between the G and F major strings on a harp, they were truly more allowed to pass through the salamander lips than pronounced. Indeed, I would go so far as to say that no positive adjectives in the English language are quite enthusiastic enough to describe how the salamander spoke.
"Nice day," I said, utterly nervous. I tried to keep my enthusiasm subtle, but I knew I was sweating like a Greek curator whose infancy had just been cruely revoked.
"Not bad," the salamander pronounced gently, "a bit hot perhaps, but otherwise not too bad." From anyone else, it would have been small talk, but from the salamander's smooth lips it seemed a holy revelation. The sincerity was so intense I could taste it. And I did. I lapped it right up. I became a fool, no longer able to contain my ecstacy. I felt as though all my seams would rip apart and sunshine would pour out, and I now began to jump and spin and whirl and shout and dance and come very close to exploding with joy. In the excitement, I dropped the rock on the salamander, killing him, but I was too happy to care. I spent the rest of my days counting perforations on various things and remembering the day when the salamander spoke to me.