From his hidden vantage point, selected many years prior for this occaision, Apis! could see the garbage truck. It's ferocious looking cab, the evil white ribbed sides, and of course, the horrible refuse-mangling jaws of doom. A shiver of fear played Autobahn on his spine, and he reassured himself in a quiet, shouting tone: "just like the last one, in and out-- just like that."
It approached, and stopped. It approached, and stopped. Each time, some helpless humans, obviously under it's sinister control, would fetch innocent garbage, and throw it into the great maw, that was the entire rear of the beast. Would it ever be satiated?!
It came closer still. Of course, the garbage truck had no way of knowing Apis! was concealed nearby. It could only continue on it's route, like a ship sailing the Atlantic in WWII, pursued by German U-boats, or like American soldiers walking into a V.C. trap, in 'Nam. One or the other.
It kept coming, and at last, it noticed the bait and moved towards it. The trash that had volunteered to draw the beast over wouldn't die in vain, thought Apis!, as he readied himself to spring forth, like he used to, when in the Girl Guides. "Hey mister... Wanna buy some cookies?--Just like that."
The creature halted, and it's human tentacles moved out towards their prey, expecting nothing. The trash put up a valiant struggle, diverting the garbage men as Apis! ran to the truck. There, he moved beyond the cab and sides, towards the great mouth--but stopped short, and pressed with all his might, that wacky red button.
"YES!" cried Apis!, and he put another garbage truck shaped notch in his arm, while the truck roared with anger as the compacting process began. Instead of being overjoyed at the defeat of their master, the human puppets shouted threats of vengeance like "Hey, what are you doing?" and "You could get hurt, get away from there". They obviously were still being influenced, so Apis! fled, his victory secured.
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The Mayor of Flaxflaxflax had been aware of Apis!'s "liberation raids"
against the public sanitation system for some time. It wouldn't have been
much more than a nuisance anywhere else, but in Flaxflaxflax sanitation was
everything. It was all the people had. There was pride in the way the people
would take out the garbage, talk about it, play sports with it in mind, and
sacrifice their children to it. They weren't about to give it up without a
fight. The town came together like never before because of this crisis, and
they voted unanimously that all garbage trucks have guards carrying rifles on
their pickup routes. They also decided that all the trucks that had been
violated were sluts, and those were sold to neighbouring townships.
Flaxflaxflax would have only pristine, chaste trucks for it's waste.
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Apis! put another Band-Aid on. He muttered dejectedly "Just like that",
OBVIOUSLY referring to two failed liberation attempts, which had resulted in
him being shot three times, twice to the head. He couldn't find the third
wound, and so decided to look again later. There were more trucks to plunder
--and it was still early.
First, down to the local high school, where posing as a cool youth rebel, Apis! won the admiration and support of most of the students there. They were tired of their parents sacrificing their siblings to garbage, and wanted to do something about it. Apis! encouraged their thirst for vengeance, and gave them basic training in guerrila tactics, as well. Soon, he'd have a well organized and equipped resistance force, and he'd be popular. AT LAST.
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The roadsigns leading into Flaxflaxflax were now lies. Instead of the
proudly displayed numbers "Population 1872, Garbage Trucks 2521", the actual
amount of garbage trucks was down to 1356, the rest having been soiled by
Apis!, and sold. And the Mayor knew this. And so did the people, as they
angrily confronted him. Cries of "why are we here?", "where's my legs...?"
and "don't touch my child like that!" pressured the Mayor into allowing the
guards that accompanied garbage trucks on their routes to carry larger weapons,
like machine guns and even shoulder mounted anti-tank rockets. Only then were
the people appeased, and did they agree not to whine a lot.
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The rocket sailed past Apis! and struck a house. Both it and the garbage
truck were now in flames. Apis! raised his fist in victory, notched his arm,
read the bible (twice) and muttered with a sneer, "Just like that." He was
becoming dark and corrupt, no longer satisfied with simply pressing the red
compacting buttons. He made sure each truck was destroyed before he left
the scene, His escape usually covered by his band of fanatically loyal rebel
student recruits, who would shower the area with small arms fire and children,
before speeding away on bright orange stilts.
Such raids were occurring all over town. The newest amendments the Mayor had sanctioned were proving ineffective. Escalation was not the answer! The people, in desparation, formed a vigilante 'Garbage Berets' group, and organized a bake sale and needlecraft exhibition in protest of Apis's attacks against the community. It flopped though, as no one in Flaxflaxflax knew how to bake, or sew.
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All the Mayor's attempts to stop Apis! had been countered, like a
particularly strategic game of tiddly-winks. And now, the garbage men were
striking, because they weren't getting their turns at pressing the red
compacting buttons. Anarchy prevailed, and the Mayor surrounded himself in
a bunker underneath city hall with only the most loyal of civil servants.
The people became savage without their garbage pickup. They began to eat one
another, until there was only one left--a really fat guy named George
Dribblebum, who incidentally, this story is dedicated to.
George Dribblebum - Thanks for doing absolutely nothing over the course of your strictly fictional life!
Oh yeah, and the Mayor authorized a nuclear bomb to be dropped on Flaxflaxflax.
(pow)