Tact is important. If you don't use tact, you'll end up dead in an alley. Here are some tricky situations and some tactful ways out of them.
1. Your hostess asks you if you'd like some gravy. The thought of gravy sickens you and some bile appears in your mouth.
TACTFUL SOLUTION: Take out the hammer you brought with you, and reply "I'll just go north."
2. You are on a bus, in Pittsburgh.
TACTFUL SOLUTION: Beg forgiveness every day, weepingly, until the tears have forged new valleys in the tender skin of your face.
3. The new plant you bought your aunt has killed 34 people.
TACTFUL SOLUTION: Determine if it's safe, by looking both ways, then INVADE!!
4. A garrison of troops makes a pass at you.
TACTFUL SOLUTION: Carve moulds which look like the Royal Family and insert three swazi tribesmen in their tea. When they pass the butter, run for that little tabel in the corner. In it, you will find a hangglider. Take that to a man named Carl living on an island that rhymes with Helins, and he will give you a salve of hot mush. Press this to the forehead of the balding parakeet and whisper Peter as loudly as you dare. Wait in coffin four days or until brown. Serves 5.
5. Launchpad.
TACTFUL SOLUTION: There is no tactful solution for this tricky maneuver. Please, you tactless bastard, if you ever find yourself in this situation, choose suicide. It's the only way.
And now, armed with these examples of tact, we hope you feel confident about engaging in social situations, such as a revolution. Have fun!