I breathed at him. He fainted. I took his lifeless yet inert body and pushed it into my humble bedroom. I removed his outer garments and threw his head down my sink. He woke up, luckily, and removed himself from my bathroom just as I was about to pour Crest toothpaste into the witches brew already smouldering in the sink. He kissed me and waltzed out of my life forever.
I haven't died yet.
The suspense was really getting to me, so I grabbed for my puppy, Edith, and began ministrating him with sand and some left over jello I found meandering in my fridge. I was hot now!
My old English teacher was there. She disliked what she saw, removed her left toe to reveal the plethora of animals she had hidden in her body. They came out with a "YAWP!" and faced the harsh reality of my face?
As they raced off onto the dark side of the moon, I wondered, will they ever be back to experience the pain of Xendrix and the anguish of Oreo Moonya? I supposed not, and paid more attention to matters at hand.
"So," I yelled down at my feet. "Though you could fool me with that old 'animals in my toe' trick, eh?"
Failing to reply, they ran off, only to be caught by a large printing press that just happened to be blowing bubbles in a corner. Coincidence? No.
I removed the rubber gloves that had appeared suddenly.
Die.