The sign read 'Lac du Hick, Population 32' but most folk knew better. It was always the outsiders that didn't know, always. They'd come into town, and they'd just not know. Damn outsiders.
And, as they'd come into town, these crazy outsiders, they'd see a big purple building, with a sign on it sayin' it was 'Anis's Store'. Us locals know all about Anis, and his purple store, but not those damn outsiders.
If you're from around these parts, you'd know not to look around, but say you was an outsider, then maybe you would. You'd probably see a sign on the bar across from Anis's, readin' something like 'Bar'. Now if you looked close enough, you'd be able to see plainly that it meant 'No Crazy Damn Outsiders', yet a whole bunch of you go in there all the time. And if you're fool enough to order a drink, why, sure old Stinky will get you one, but while he was getting you a glass or popping the top off a bottle he'd secretly be hating you, wishing he could give you rat poison instead of what you ordered. He wouldn't really give you poison, but he'd sure want to. If you was a damn outsider, that is.
Right beside Stinky's is the motel, as the sign says. That place sure is crazy. The way the sign is designed is obviously anti-outsider, what with the word 'Motel' on a brown background. Yet it seems there's always some crazy folk from out of town there, constantly rentin' rooms and creating a ruckus. Always. It's like they can't read or something. I mean, 'Motel'. Stay out, you damn fool outsider.
Then there's the town stop sign. Boy, when one of you outsiders see that, you think you know the town inside out. To begin with, if you're a damn outsider, you shouldn't be on the road in the first place. It says 'No Damn Fool Outsiders' right on it, if you know where to look. Of course, you got to be from around these parts, or you just won't know where. Same goes for the sidewalk. Anyone with any sort of head on their shoulders knows better than to be on the thing. So who could I be sure to see on it? Crazy damn outsiders from out of town, that's who.
Now if all that wasn't bad enough, it seems you outsiders that come into town are breathin' up our oxygen. I remember it plain as paste, right after last year's muck festival we put up signs on the oxygen, ones that outsiders would be able to see. Signs that had stuff like 'Beware--oxygen' and 'Oxygen --Watch out' written on them, so people would know. Most of them have been torn down or breathed up, I guess. Not that there's anything wrong with the oxygen, but it's a good thing everyone still knows about it. Well, everyone that is, except for you crazy damn fool outsiders from out of town. Darn you.