Hanzel und Gretyl - Scheizzmessiah

I work in a chip shop. More accurately, I manage a French Fry store. You may have heard of it, we sell French Fries and Hotdogs and nothing else, well, with the exception of drinks. My job is horribly miserable and depressing, and right now I hate my job and I hate my life. But enough whining, this isn’t exactly the forum for that sort of reader abuse. I bring this up because I’m living in a small town, and in small towns people listen to metal and think it’s subversive, which brings me to the point of the preceding junk. I bought Sheissmessiah more as a joke than as anything I would really enjoy. I thought, "Hey, I could play this at work and be all hillbilly hardcore." Okay, so now that I’ve justified my purchase, I suppose I should review this cd. Well, it’s thrashy metal industrial; very Metal industrial, not like synths and techno with some guitars, more like guitars and more guitars. And the kids at work love it. So, I guess, overall, it's a great disc if you’re in the mood for that sort of thing. I wouldn’t advise playing it while going for romantic walks to the convenience store or during a candle light dinner while begging for sex, however when you are going to make fries with some guy who keeps asking why we don’t hire more lesbians, at least once a day, it is fitting. Or, if I’m going to get completely loaded in order to forget about having to make fries for a living, it is perfect listening. So what do I think of it? I suppose it doesn’t really matter. In truth, I wrote this more to whine than anything. Okay, it’s pretty cool. "Makes me want to eat Kraft Dinner and phone my mum up and tell her to fuck off, then maybe hire some lesbians" (yes, this was said to me today by the aforementioned individual). I was doing interviews today and I met with this one girl. She seemed nice, but he stops me and goes "there are four reasons you shouldn’t hire her", and of course, I'm not thinking, so I take the bait and go "why?" He says, "1- she’s not attractive, 2- she’s got a boyfriend, 3- she’s not a lesbian, and 4- she’s weird." I think he was serious too. I put Sheismessiah on after that and felt better. It rocked out, I totally got my groove on. Then, I fired that kid.

Vizgig @ January 2005