- Beer doesn't always demand sex
- Beer can keep its grimey mouth off your penis
- Beer doesn't have awkward breasts
- Beer's foamier
- You can marry beer
- You can live with or without beer (well, maybe not HAHA!)
- Beer makes you pee a lot, so you can touch your penis but I'm not a fag
- You don't get to throw up if you have too much sex
- Women don't go "sssssss" when you open them