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Controversy at YIP
by Milky

The year of our lord 1996 was indeed a turbulent year for YIP. Over the course of the year the group was increasingly plagued with controversy.

YIP Magazine rebelliously refused to listen to "the man", fulfilling its mandate to offer the public hard-hitting, relentless journalism on all of society's most sensitive issues.

The controversy began in late January, with the release of YIP Magazine 19, which pulled no punches in dealing with the extremely sensitive issue of space exploration. YIP staff realized they were taking a risk in exposing the dark underbelly of the space industry, but were startled when confronted with some highly negative reader feedback.

"YIP is bad" Kirby, NASA

At a very tense emergency meeting, several members of the YIP board of directors voted in favour of closing the publication and committing mass suicide, but fortunately the meeting was interrupted by the arrival of an encouraging telegram.

"YIP isn't that bad" ted

Unfortunately, two days later YIP personnel were forced to erect barbed wire around YIP Headquarters when another letter arrived.

"No, it is bad" alex

From behind the barricades, staff continued their important work. YIP Magazine 20 ran a wide variety of controversial articles on such delicate topics as dog sightings and the plight of the tone deaf. All personnel were promptly excommunicated from the Catholic church, and the Pope placed a bounty on the heads of several contributors.

All but crushed under the mass of lawsuits, YIP's legal staff insisted that the editorial board tone down the magazine's controversial content, so YIP Magazine 21 mostly avoided possible areas of controversy (except for a brief six-page illustrated article exploring the possible benefits of genocide).

Unfortunately, YIP Magazine 22, a special warthog issue, once again crossed the line in dealing with the very sensitive issues related to this highly controversial savannah beast. The magazine's primary advertiser, Abortions For Pleasure, Ltd., called the issue "tasteless" and threatened to pull its ads if YIP didn't show some editorial restraint.

It was for the horrendously sexy YIP Magazine 23, however, that YIP received the widest condemnation. The sex issue brought on attacks from all forms of media. Leading the pack, The New York Times declared,

"YIP is like a rattlesnake... it doesn't care who it bites, or how hard, or how much venom it has to shoot into them, and it has a long, cylindrical, limbless body."

In a segment entitled "YIP Is Indeed Bad", 60 Minutes continued the assault, stating,

"If YIP were a salad, in a restaurant, say, I would send that salad back, saying 'That Salad Is Bad.' For YIP is indeed bad..."

The harshest condemnation of all, however, was issued by TIME magazine, which denounced the group by stating,

"In many ways, YIP is like a large-scale industrial oil spill: bad."

The public was incensed by this battery of bad press. After the publication began to receive 20-30 bomb threats daily, YIP Headquarters was forced to go to DEFCON 3. The streets surrounding YIP HQ were increasingly filled with the sound of sniper fire, and the stench of human blood. Daily firebombings of YIP HQ slowed production considerably, but eventually the remaining personnel published YIP Magazine 24 from the bomb shelter under YIP HQ.

The farm-animal filled cover of YIP Magazine 24 was offensive enough to give the United Nations an excuse to declare war on the group. Daily nuclear missile attacks drove the few surviving YIP personnel to the jungle, where they congregated for guerilla-style magazine meetings under the cover of night. In their new jungle home, YIP personnel ran from place to place and dodged bullets as they prepared the most daring issue of YIP ever: YIP Magazine 25, a tribute to Satan and Hell.

As it happened, the public really liked the Satanism issue: most world citizens converted to Satanism and YIP was welcomed back to civilization with open arms. Today, all people think of YIP with the fondness and affection they once reserved for koalas.