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Controversy at YIP by Milky
The year of our lord 1996 was indeed a turbulent year for YIP. Over the course of the year the group was
increasingly plagued with controversy.
YIP Magazine rebelliously refused to listen to "the man", fulfilling its mandate to offer the public
hard-hitting, relentless journalism on all of society's most sensitive issues.
The controversy began in late January, with the release of YIP Magazine 19, which pulled no punches
in dealing with the extremely sensitive issue of space exploration. YIP staff realized they were taking a
risk in exposing the dark underbelly of the space industry, but were startled when confronted with some
highly negative reader feedback.
"YIP is bad" Kirby, NASA
At a very tense emergency meeting, several members of the YIP board of directors voted in favour of
closing the publication and committing mass suicide, but fortunately the meeting was interrupted by the
arrival of an encouraging telegram.
"YIP isn't that bad" ted
Unfortunately, two days later YIP personnel were forced to erect barbed wire around YIP Headquarters
when another letter arrived.
"No, it is bad" alex
From behind the barricades, staff continued their important work. YIP Magazine 20 ran a wide variety of
controversial articles on such delicate topics as dog sightings and the plight of the tone deaf. All personnel
were promptly excommunicated from the Catholic church, and the Pope placed a bounty on the heads of
several contributors.
All but crushed under the mass of lawsuits, YIP's legal staff insisted that the editorial board tone down
the magazine's controversial content, so YIP Magazine 21 mostly avoided possible areas of controversy
(except for a brief six-page illustrated article exploring the possible benefits of genocide).
Unfortunately, YIP Magazine 22, a special warthog issue, once again crossed the line in dealing with
the very sensitive issues related to this highly controversial savannah beast. The magazine's primary
advertiser, Abortions For Pleasure, Ltd., called the issue "tasteless" and threatened to pull its ads if YIP
didn't show some editorial restraint.
It was for the horrendously sexy YIP Magazine 23, however, that YIP received the widest
condemnation. The sex issue brought on attacks from all forms of media. Leading the pack, The New
York Times declared,
"YIP is like a rattlesnake... it doesn't care who it bites, or how hard, or how much venom it has to shoot
into them, and it has a long, cylindrical, limbless body."
In a segment entitled "YIP Is Indeed Bad", 60 Minutes continued the assault, stating,
"If YIP were a salad, in a restaurant, say, I would send that salad back, saying 'That Salad Is Bad.' For
YIP is indeed bad..."
The harshest condemnation of all, however, was issued by TIME magazine, which denounced the group
by stating,
"In many ways, YIP is like a large-scale industrial oil spill: bad."
The public was incensed by this battery of bad press. After the publication began to receive 20-30 bomb
threats daily, YIP Headquarters was forced to go to DEFCON 3. The streets surrounding YIP HQ were
increasingly filled with the sound of sniper fire, and the stench of human blood. Daily firebombings of
YIP HQ slowed production considerably, but eventually the remaining personnel published YIP Magazine
24 from the bomb shelter under YIP HQ.
The farm-animal filled cover of YIP Magazine 24 was offensive enough to give the United Nations an
excuse to declare war on the group. Daily nuclear missile attacks drove the few surviving YIP personnel to
the jungle, where they congregated for guerilla-style magazine meetings under the cover of night. In
their new jungle home, YIP personnel ran from place to place and dodged bullets as they prepared the
most daring issue of YIP ever: YIP Magazine 25, a tribute to Satan and Hell.
As it happened, the public really liked the Satanism issue: most world citizens converted to Satanism
and YIP was welcomed back to civilization with open arms. Today, all people think of YIP with the
fondness and affection they once reserved for koalas.
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