How To Deal With Your Crying Baby
What good is a crying baby? Nobody likes them. They're noisy, obnoxious and
foul. However, sometimes a skilled parent can salvage such a tot. Here are some
tips from the pros:
- Maybe the baby is just crying because it wants you to remove its legs?
- A baby who has been working in the fields all day is going to be too tired
- Distract the crying baby with ham.
- Trade the baby in for a better one while it's sleeping.
- Replace the crying head with a new Happy Head (tm).
- Sound cannot exist in a vaccuum.
- Electroshock therapy (hey, tough love works).
- Make fun of the baby's crying; shame it into stopping.
- Put it in suspended animation until crying can be cured.
- Act really nervous - pretend crying is illegal.
- It's hard to cry underwater.