Getting Dogs To Notice You

"Dogs? Sure, they're awesome... but I don't think one would ever be interested in me," confides Trudy, a 16-year-old in grade ten. "I'm too plain."

Trudy's misgivings are all-too-common. In fact, you don't even need to be all that pretty to land a dog! Here are a few tips:

1. Roll around in meat. Dogs show no sign of ever getting bored with this classic attention-getter. Simply lay out a few dozen slabs of pork or beef or whatever, strip naked and go nuts! The dogs won't be able to take no for an answer!

2. Call the dog's name and whistle. It's important to let the dog know you're interested, so do this often!

3. Run away. Though they'll deny it if asked, dogs have an irresistable urge to chase after anything that looks like it might get away from them. Including you!

4. Emit a scent which lets the dog know you're interested - bigtime! Nothing drives a dog crazier than the smell of a female in heat, and why should female dogs have all the fun?