Fun Depot





The Evil Eye
By Totenbuch Christ

If ever a tale was told
which would make
all who sat
in the darkened rooms
of the world
turn pale with fright
it would be the tale
of The Eye.

Oh yes, The Eye
and its scorge of death.
For this tale
tells of evil,
warns you.

Fear it!
Fear The Eye!
For one day
it will come
for YOU!

Rip you to shreads
and leave you at a bus

But how could this tale begin?
What great evil
unleashed The Eye
to this world,
the world of mortals?

There once was a man
who lived in a darkened tower
and thunder boomed
and lightning cracked
It was scary.
Scary as hell.
and all who saw
and said,
"Ooo, scary!
Scary as hell!"

And in the darkened crevice
Sat the eye
and laughed wickedly.



Like a great wild bear
caught in a bizzare
burst of rage
The Eye lept.

Lept onto the face
of the poor little child
Then came the blood.
Flesh, blood, and bone
hacked off the child's form
A great avalanche
of gore
and it was really sick.

Now I pause,
for you have seen
what horror lies
within these bindings
Stop now!

For if you go on
you will never sleep again!

All the world was in fear
fear of The Eye!
For there is no place
to run
No place
to hide
No place to escape
The Eye!
If it wants to kill you
it will
and it won't be fun
it won't be one of your
"precious moments"
for you to cherish
for the rest of your life
even though you won't live
The Eye is out there!
And it's killing.

I know what you are saying
you say
"We have to stop it."
I call you a fool
You can't stop The Eye
The Eye is evil
The Eye will kill you
and pee on your corpse

Just remember that
when you walk
into your dark room
The Eye will be there
snickering wickedly
in the corner
with that missing juice

A week ago
the juice
went missing
from the fridge
along with that chunk
of fudge

Who would dare think
The Eye had taken it?

Perhaps you would have
made up stories about
fridge fairies
who dance with joy
and take the juice
back with them to their
lovely land
but you can't escape
the truth
The truth about
The Eye!
Oh how evil.
oh how wicked.
Nefarious, it is said.

Dave looked for the juice
Opening the fridge
ever so slowly,
the tension building
all the while.
Then in a burst
Dave threw the door open
willing to accept
any fate
that came to him.

But The Eye wasn't there
And too was the juice gone.

Dave then spake,
"Hey where's that juice!
I thought it was here."

He then turned
Oh horror!
The Eye was there
and it bludgeoned him
"Help!" Dave screamed
"I'm being bludgeoned!
But it was too late.
Too late Dave
Dave was no more
Dave was at his end
Dave was gone
Gone away
To hell!

Dave's bludgeoned corpse
lying in a pool
of blood
and mayonnaise.
It was a sad sight
Sad as well as horrible
And scary too,
Scary as hell!

The Eye had taken a new victum
Taken him to the depths of hell
against his will.
Forcefully like.

But now the eye sits
in the dark corner
of your room
It waits for you
to sleep
Sleep little baby,
It's eaten the fudge
and is working its way
through the jug of juice.

Tina and Janet
were walking one night
It was late.
It was dark.
And they had taken the short cut,
through the grave yard.
Oh horror.
No Janet!
No Tina!
Not the grave yard!

And if that wasn't scary enough
The Eye was there!
Great horror most high
Terror of the blood
and evil was The Eye.

The two came face to face
with The Eye
that night
and only does the echo
of their scream
The echo and the faint scent
of blood and death.
Their bodies were never found.
The Eye had done its work.

Are you scared now,
little child?
You should be!

Only fools aren't scared
of The Eye
But they don't remain fools
for long
They become dead
Dead as dead
and rotting in hell,
next to the fire side.

They sit and groan,
those fools in hell,
"What a fool I was,"
and saying,
"It wasn't fun."
Sitting in the remains
of their shredded bodies.

So now The Eye waits for you.
It has finished the juice
and it licks its lips.
Do you feel that
hot, juice scented breath
upon the back of your neck?
The Eye is very close,
Do not move.
Do not breath.
Oh horror!
Is there no escape?
Is there nothing you can do?
Won't someone save you?
Won't there be a shining knight
behind your door,
or in your closet?
Of course not,
don't be silly.
A shining knight has
better things to do
then die a horrible death
at the hands of The Eye
and then rot in hell and groan,
"I was a shining knight once,"
and then,
"But then I faced The Eye."
And even in hell
would people be scared.

The Eye always gets what it wants.
You can only sit and wait.
You can't prepare
for you can't imagine
what horror awaits!
You'll soil your pants

Not a very proud moment,
is it?