Fun Depot





Hot Garden of Love
a Harlequin Romance by Milky

Chapter 1 - The Past and Rick

Sarah bundled up her coat as she walked from shop to shop in the crowded shopping mall. She had been here for hours and had yet to find a birthday gift for Jacob, her fiancee. Jacob was a musician, but he'd warned her that only he could ever hope to satisfying his musical needs. She had thought of a sports shirt, but knew he would complain about the colours. She had considered a book, but knew that when Jacob opened her gift he would look up at her as if he didn't get the joke. She couldn't take that look. Sarah was beginning to wonder if Jacob liked anything.

Suddenly, Sarah was startled out of this reflection on her love life as she bumped into another shopper. "Excuse me!" she blurted, as her embarrassment flooded into her cheeks in a way that brought out the green hues in her beautiful grey eyes. These eyes now glanced upon and began to take in the form of this stranger. He was tall, at least a head taller than Sarah's five feet, and muscular. His skin was tanned and rugged, like a man who had worked the land. His face was tough yet gentle. There was a day's stubble and it looked like he hadn't washed his face for a while. His eyes were dark and, Sarah thought, interested. He wore a dirty black t-shirt which showed off his large biceps, and was not unflattering to rest of his torso. This shirt was tucked in, and Sarah couldn't help but thinking he'd make a perfect commercial for his tight, slightly muddy, blue jeans. The shoes were black and rowdy, and coloured with the kind of mud that made Sarah want to get to know someone well. Really well, Sarah thought, as she blushed again, a thin bead of sweat dripping down her face.

"It's no problem," said the dirt man, in a husky voice that weakened Sarah's knees just a little. It was the kind of voice she wanted to have with her on cold nights. The kind of voice she wanted to hold her and tell her things were alright. The kind of voice she wanted inside her. Sarah felt a red-hot tingle as a rough hand grabbed her small arm to support her. Sarah felt intensely overheated. "Are you okay?" asked the stranger, in a voice filled with genuine concern.

"Oh yes, yes, now I really am," said Sarah enthusiastically as she stared straight into the dirt man's dark eyes, and wiped the beads of sweat from her brow. "It's just so hot in these malls sometimes." Particularly at times like these, Sarah thought. So very hotttt.

"Yes, well... I'm Rick," he explained with a near perfect casualness.

Sarah tried to play down her own enthusiasm. "I'm Sarah," she said as they shook hands, and again a tiny, red- hot thrill raced through her as she made contact with this strange man. Rick now looked as though he was growing disinterested, and Sarah suddenly knew that she didn't want to lose Rick's interest. More than anything else she wanted to keep that interest, and hold it close to her, and feel it's throbbing intensity. "I'm trying to save the world from aliens by developing a new laser which runs on melon juice!" she exclaimed, desperately, in heat.

Rick studied her for a second and then looked as though he'd made up his mind. His a firm voice he announced, "We'll go sit down and have a cold drink. You're still not feeling yourself." He indicated the way and began walking.

Sarah followed, helplessly. The heat was unbearable.

Chapter 2 - Rick Speaks

Sarah again wringed out her shirt and gazed at the strange man across the table from her. It was amazing. They had met less than an hour ago and already she could think of nothing else, except perhaps the excruciating heat. Rick was a gardener and a garden supplier, and the sole employee of his own company. Sarah thought it very romantic - one man out there in the wild, churning up the soil, fighting off the weeds, forcing nature to be beautiful. It made Sarah so hot! She sighed audibly.

"What is it?" Rick said, again with that wonderfully genuine concern.

"Nothing, Rick. It's just... you. You're amazing. I don't know how you do it all, managing the truck, the tools, the dirt. And all by yourself. You're like a superhero... like Superman," Sarah exclaimed breathlessly, the sweat dripping in steady rivulets of love.

"I'm not that incredible," Rick said factually.

"I wonder about that," Sarah said coyly, as she moistened her lips and flashed Rick a knowing smile. The love sweat dripped thickly all over her body. "Tell me, Rick, now that I know all about your work, what of the rest of your life?"

"Well, I like going to bars with my friends, and strange as it seems I really like visiting my family, who live here in town."

"What about..." Sarah breathed deeply and took the plunge, "girlfriends?"

"I'm currently single," Rick said and, as a chunk of caked-on mud fell from his hair into his drink, Sarah panted.

Chapter 3 - Rick and Love

The next few days were a hot blur. They drove by so many gardens in Rick's filthy brown pick-up truck of love, Rick carefully explaining how he'd tended each garden and Sarah getting hotter and hotter every minute. Sarah began to worry quite seriously about bursting into flames. Rick never washed and found soap very feminine - Sarah respected his filth. They had exchanged meaningful looks - dirty looks. Hot looks. Looks... of love.

They had gone places and seen things. Sarah had figured out a few qualities in Rick which she could find endearing and he had managed to do the same for her. Sarah grew hotter every second, no matter what she was doing. They had eaten dinner, danced and of course fallen in love. Sarah had become so hot it was like she was going to explode. Jacob was forgotten.

And tonight, Sarah had decided, she would finally let Rick have his way. Rick would arrive in but a few moments expecting dinner, but would receive a much tastier treat. Sarah managed to prepare herself amid the blistering heat, only occasionally screaming in agony when it became particularly scorching. She peeled off her sopping-wet clothing and slipped into a delicate and very revealing pink slip. She sat in front of her open fridge and waited.

The doorbell rang. IT WAS RICK.

Chapter 4 - The Night of Love

Sarah lay down on the bed expectantly as Rick undressed revealing, well, y'know. Rick's brown, mud-caked body slid into the bed of love.

"I love you so much, Rick," Sarah said, trying to control her anguished gasps amid the horrendous, life- destroying heat of love.

"And I you, Sarah. I know now that I've always loved you," Rick said as his filthy hand began to stroke her tender love petals. He gently caressed her sweet flowers of love, and sifted and spread her love soil. "I'll be back in a moment," he whispered, and Sarah waited anxiously, her skin now crackling gently in the sizzling heat.

Rick returned with a love shovel filled with thick black loam and slowly, tenderly spread it about Sarah's love thicket. Again he held up a finger and returned moments later with a large bag of fertilizer which she proceeded to tenderly dump all over Sarah from head to toe. Sarah moaned as some of her flesh began to boil off. Rick now brought in a large wheelbarrow of love filled with thick, brown mud and tipped it gently into Sarah's garden of love. Sarah screamed, as she was now sizzling uncontrollably and the smell of all that filth and all that charred human flesh just made her hotter. Rick began to plant his love seed and soon after summoned hordes of love bees to help him fertilize Sarah's barren body. And just as Sarah began to boil away to love vapour, it was over and Rick was gone like a pile of kidneys. Love kidneys, that is.

Sarah pulled the love blankets up close to her love chest as she stared out the love window at the sea of love and sighed. The laser of love was completed two love months later and the aliens of love destroyed at the cost of only a few love grapefruits. The Earth was once again safe for love. Love, love, love, love, love!