Fun Depot





by Persephone

Once there was a big spider named Herman. Herman lived in an old shoebox at the end of the driveway. One might wonder why he hadn't been run down, but then that would be stupid. Herman was sitting in the shoebox at the end of the driveway and thinking, "My oh my, what should I do this fine day?" Little did he know that it was not a fine day at all. It was the most horrible day that the shoebox had ever seen. The rain was coming down in torrents and the shoebox was being blown all over the kingdom.

All the while Herman was inside contemplating what to have for breakfast. Eventually, he decided on the scrambled eggs with just a touch of paprika and a side of peameal bacon. It was delicious.

After washing the dishes, he sat down at his pottery wheel and began to make the vase he had been thinking about. When it had finished being fired, Herman plucked the warm vase from its previous home in the kiln. As Herman gazed at the beautiful vase, he became aware that it was missing something, so he set about growing some flowers to put in it. First he grew some tulips and then a bunch of roses, and then at long last, some weeds. At the sight of such beautiful flowers, Herman was overcome with enough emotion to fill a thousand ships, and thusly could not hold back the song that burst forth from his heart.

His joyous song continued for many an hour, until his throat became as coarse as a camel's back. Finishing that, Herman ventured into the den and settled down by the fireplace with his very own autographed copy of Moby Dick. Autographed not only by the author, but by the big guy himself. The story was so entrancing that he wanted to go out and get a whale of his own, so that he too might have the joy...

As the hours dwindled, so did Herman's stamina, so he rose from the chair, and after placing the book on the shelf, he shot a string from his butt and swung over the chair and into his web.