Fun Depot





Ode to Satan by Bastard Francais
Satan, o Satan, Father of Deceit,
Lord of pure evil, homey on the street,
As you wield malediction, as you eat blighted bread,
Do you think of God, and smashing his head?

Diabolus, Ahriman, Tempter of Fools,
Ruler of Inferno, breakin' all da r00ls,
In the darkness of Hades, in your cottage of fear,
Do you bed evil babez and drink evil beer?

Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Sower of Hate,
Betrayer of Humanity, groovin' dope state,
You lie to the innocent, you torment and harass,
I offer my worship, you really kick ass!

Cranberry Mothra by Asphalt Bastard
Never thought
REALLY - about what it would be like
to own a kitten as soft (so soft)
as a kitten like you
So, small, vulnerable, unsafe you were
such a small little kitten
in my arms - oh to feed you
wheat and watch you grow,
watch you become large and beautiful,
but always so soft.
I shall not regret swallowing you, soft cat.

The Mantra of the Boat People by Paul
Boat boats, boats boats, boats boats, yum.
Boat boats, boats boats, boats boats, yum.

The Tyranny of Bup by Floyd Soviet
Why do we eat sleek hens?
Is it because we envy pus?
Ahhhhh!!!!! My foot is caught!
I'm dying! Help me! This is not a poem!
I'm really dying!

Soap Mines by Albino Finch
workin' in the soap mines
tryin' to earn a little cash
workin' in the soap mines
so I can feed my wife

You by Asphalt Bastard
I spotted you across a crowded room,
you hair gently caressing your cheek,
I knew that I could make you mine,
but upon closer inspection,
I realized,
that you
were my mother.
Hi mom.

Pork by Livewire
My god, was there pork.
There was pork everywhere.
As far as the eye could see, there was pork.
Pork, pork, pork.
From horizon to horizon, all was pork.
Oodles of pork.
A plethora of pork.
Even the pork had pork on top of it.
Wow, was there a lot of pork.
You think you've seen pork?
You've never seen pork like this.
This was pork to behold.
Mounds of pork.
Tons of pork.
Imagine a guy who really loved pork. I mean REALLY loved it. Well, all his dreams wouldn't have come close to this.
It was pork.
I mean PORK.
Nothing but pork.
If pork were money...well, you'd have a lot of money, that's all I can say.
'cause there was a lot of pork.
It was everywhere.
Any direction you turned, there was some pork there.
And there was some pork beside it.
And on top of it.
Christ, the pork was everywhere.
It was everything.
The world was pork.
Truckloads of pork.
Pork such as the world has never seen.

Sunshine and Teddy Bears by Toastie Soviet
i like sunshine and teddy bears
they are both yelow they are both warm
i like to eat sunshine but not teddy bears
they taste dry and funny
i almost choked on an eye
but i still like to have my bears when i'm sleeping

Love Gherkins Traditional
Runny, runny beatniks
Entrenched in beckman's shins
Were doing veinwork with heavy tools
In a yellow, poory juice barette.

Little did they know,
that behind their horrid mine
Lay a rich a silver stretch
Of pure, unvarnished laundry.

Poem by Milky

Rain by Corn Syrup

Rain. Ra-in
Rain, rain.

Lancaste by Milky
Pausing beside some pork
Lancaste bravely smiled
The forces of evil lurked behind him somewhere.
Lancaste hadn't urinated in a while,
or a few hours at least. Doesn't
sound like a big deal. And it wasn't.
So Lancaste moved on.

Grass by Goatface
grass, green, yet not quite,
well, kinda
fuck it, yeah, it's green!

The Plight by Paul
The planetary salmon lurched -
like soup, perhaps...My soul; it swayed,
Alternate Thursdays, 9:20pm-10:00pm. (pool doors)
Ever examined your harp? DO.
Alternate Thursdays, 10:00pm-11:45pm. (pool)
Cyprus on my shoulder, hee hee, it don't bite..
Alternate Thursdays, 11:45pm-12:00am. (pool bottom) Screw ME, Athabaskan!

Youth on the Whole by Plastic Brain Carrier
I tried to sue the marsh,
But no,
It's lawyer was mellow and soft,
Fiery like a Calypso,
And young as a whip.
My legal life is my own life,
Who needs my vegetables?
Surely not I.
No way--
You can't play MY eyes!
For the life of my fish,
I pray thee,
Feel the frost of my BEST wall hanging,
And then tell me I'm too old!
Too old to sand?
You can lift everything in my house,
But you can't life my McFace,
And you can't reverse the years,
That I have racked up like my mileage,
Beef is nearly 100% water,
Dry ice.

Cowmancer by Milky
Hello, how are you
Fine thanks
I love you
Let me touch your udder

Fried Applesauce by Plastic Brain Carrier
Once while I was walking,
I stumbled upon a shoehorn.
I tried to use it on my shoe,
But hark--
My shoe was filled with applesauce.
So I took that shoe to my living quarter,
While grave indignity I wept,
For that applesauce was mine,
It was raining outside,
But still I grabbed a frying pan.
The burner slowly reddened,
As I turned up the heat,
IT left my shoe-
It LEFT my shoe-
It left MY shoe-
It left my SHOE-
And IN to the frying pan it went.
Ut, ut, Rick, thanks for the pan,
For without the pan,
It would not be possible;
Yea I trembled as I watched it fry,
The vapors filled my nasal orifices.
Oh with one quick, carefully thought-out gulp,
I transfered the applesauce from the pan,
It burned my throat as it slid down,
but I was a new man now.

Pig Why? by Totenbuch Christ
It sat in mud,
the pig that is.
Sat in a pile of mud.
A pig!
And in the mud
sat a pig.
Oh pig.
Oh pig in mud.
Pig. Pig. Pig.
Pig, you are in mud.