Fun Depot





The Internet is a powerful sex-gathering medium. Through the power of telecommunications, everyone can be a rich, well-hung stud, or a young, horny girl with a perfect body, or both.
      Chatrooms, IRC channels and ICQ chats are excellent places to score the persons possessing the genitals of your choice. But often, sadly, one feels shy and awkward in switching the subject away from smalltalk and actually getting down to business and talking about what really matters.
      The trick is to simply seize any opportunity to convert the subject from whatever boring thing is being discussed to sex, for example:

<ravergirl> i guess we don't really place special value on a virtue until we notice its absence in our opponent
<sexguy> yeah, like girls having tits
<ravergirl> oh you said tits, that's so hott, i want you so bad

A mention of virtually any body part should immediately be capitalized upon:

<> so how are you
<tammy12> my throat is sore
<> you need a cock in it
<tammy12> tell me where you live and i will immediately drive or fly there and perform oral sex upon you

This same rule applies even if the body part in question is not often known for its role in sexual intercourse:

<lady_x> oh hi doctorluv, sorry if my typing is slow but my appendix just ruptured
<doctorluv> you won't need your appendix for what i have in mind ;)
<lady_x> take me now, i am ready, i am yours, i want you so bad oh please make me a woman
* lady_x moans and writhes uncontrollably

Generally, if you can manage to somehow mention your genitals in the conversation, your success is all but guaranteed:

<christina> i have structured my life so that i can be admitted into the kingdom of heaven
<el_sexo> yeah, i just hope my cock fits through the gates
<christina> i need you inside me now, take a cab to 64 Riverside, Scarborough, Ontario, I will pay your cab fare

When seducing someone with a poor erotic imagination, pictorial aids may prove useful:

<bigfella> penis
<just19> yeah well whatever...
<bigfella> =============)
<just19> i think i just came

In some cases, the seductee will play "hard to get," and considerable persistence will be necessary:

<el_sexo> i want to fuck you
<sasha> so anyhow there sure is a lot of tension in the middle east these days
<el_sexo> i think it needs to get laid and so do you
<sasha> i think it's more complicated, the interplay between religious and economic factors is so complex
<el_sexo> yeah, so's the interplay between your mouth and my cock
<sasha> i really think it's more extreme between say israel and iraq, though
<el_sexo> i bet you have a real nice rack

Thanks to the ol' Information Superhighway, there is just no excuse not to be constantly engaged in high-risk sex. Now get out there, Tiger, and make your coach proud.